Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Erm, Hi?
I don't know if this will help but trying to be optimistic.

I recently turned 16 and ever since I was 13, I'd feel down and sad whenever I was alone. From 13 till late 14, it was like a on/off thing. Nothing major, just would randomly cry at small things. I shook it off, thinking it was due to exams or just the stupid arguments I'd have but I think it's different now. I don't know if its me overthinking but when I turned 15(middle of year 9) It came back and it was like every night. Whenever I was alone, i'd just sit and think about stuff and just wonder the what if's etc etc and I guess it did make me upset and made me cry but no matter how much I tried to not think about it, I still would. Its like im happy but really im sad? I took up new activities like sport or trying to hang out with friends more but even for a minute or so, the thoughts would come back. I dont have many fears but my main one is being alone, which I always feel like I am even though im not..

Whenever im at school, the thoughts seem less though and its as if i seem so energetic and just happy but the next minute ill feel like crying but then happy again. It's started to get really annoying and when I started Year 10, I guess it got worse.
The thoughts and just **** feelings would come more often, everyday now. I didnt think about it as much at school but I became more angrier at everyone for no reason. I've been to doctors about this 3 times but have recieved no help. Its just i feel so lonely and I hate it. Everyone will say things get better but it hasnt? ive been told to talk to someone about it and it stilll hasnt helped?

Im in year 11 now, and its gotten mega worse. I want to get help, I dont wanna do anything further than I already have. My friends are all 'good' people(they dont do drugs or anything like that), I do well in my exams and happy most of the time during school but the thoughts are worse now and i just feel upset about small things. I mean I cried the other day because there were no biscuits and i rarely cry :sus . I cant even remember what the thoughts at night are about, i seem to forgetting a lot of things lately. Its worse now since im even angrier, i dont lash out but im quick to respond if someone does something. Im very confident so a few months back when I randomly started feeling anxious about being in town i freaked out? So, sometimes when i go town, i cant handle it. I get more anxious and think everyones staring at me and its as if i hear what theyre thinking.. It makes me want to cry but when im almost in tears its as if it never happened? like i literally cannot cry cause i feel happy and when i almost do cry, a few tears will drop and then im laughing at myself.
Ive started to cut, which I hate but its almost as i feel like i need too. My arm and leg is covered in scars which I hide but I feel like people know they're there yet they dont want to help. I just want the thoughts, the emotions, the anxiety, the pressure and the cuts to go away..

I've never experienced someone dying to me and think i'm lucky everyday. I dont cry a lot anymore since during year 10, i felt like i had to be strong so the last time i properly broke down was at the beginning of my cutting phase which was in 2011 and it didnt help, it just made me feel worse so i avoid crying. I love my parents to death and I dont think they're the cause since nothing major happened but now they seem to moan at me and just say hurtful stuff lately which is just making everything so much worse. Ive told them this and they just dont seem to care, they care more about our reputation than my health.


I dont want it to seem as if writing to get sympathy or pity, thats the last thing I want. I just want some help, I dont know how to reach out to anyone anymore. So, can anyone provide me some serious help/advice? :um

*sigh* feel a tad stupid doing this :roll
& have just realized, i basically wrote a essay aha. sorry
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
154,234 Posts
Welcome, JyS! :)
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
177,223 Posts
Hey JyS welcome. :hyper
 

·
Fun...Fluid...Formidable
Joined
·
7,159 Posts
Hi. thanks for sharing your thoughts. I find that when I'm eating lots of gluten and processed sugar, crying at the SLIGHTEST provocation is uncontrollable. I hope you'll check gluten free eating and the stabilizing effect it has on our emotions.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
59 Posts
Welcome Jys! I read your post... I'm not in the best position to give advice, but I can say I understand how you feel.

You wrote that you feel angry or sad for 'no reason'... have you tried making a list of topics/things you're unhappy with? I'm wondering if there are some things that are bothering your (that you just haven't realized...) That's just one idea of mine though, you don't have to actually make lists.

That's unfortunate your parents don't seem concerned... but it's good you know that YOU(a person) are more important than your family's REPUTATION (an non-tangible Thing.)

I'm thinking that maybe you feel overwhelmed or have a lot on your mind and that may be part of why you cry more than you want to. For me personally, I cried one time when I couldn't open a jar of jam :)sus) but I think that was hormonal.

Not sure if that helps but I'll try to write more again later! Cheers--
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
71 Posts
Welcome! Agreeing with the statements above, regarding diet changes and list-making. It can be difficult to keep those feelings in check, but eating well can make a surprising difference. List-making can totally help break down overwhelming emotions and help them make sense. Good luck. :)
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top