[Bon1]

I know others have a hard time with confrontation. What about explaining yourself to someone else in "Authority." I have a tendency to "Shut down" words just seem to spew out of my mouth, I don't even hear myself talking............No matter how hard, I think it through, I just can't seem to maintain this "Thought' I don't know if it's because I already feel doomed, even when "right" or not.
The thought of going in front of a judge, taking someone to small claims court..............I think..........They would call mental health to come and get me, throw away the key......Even though I know what the 'problem" would be!

 

[JohnnyEnnui]

I considered taking someone to small claims court once. I had no idea how I would do it with my SA, though. Still, I entertained the thought and even got a special request form packet for the disabled, thinking that maybe I could get the court cleared out LOL except for the parties involved, based on my fear of speaking in front of others. In the end, I just chickened out altogether and never went through with it.

What was the question?

Oh, I guess you're saying the opposite - that you could speak at small claims court, but that it might get you locked up. LOL Yeah, I have been aggressive with cops, which I think is just compensation for my usual passivity. :um

 

[Bon1]

LOL LOL...........LOL..................The question was;-) dork! Are you afraid of confrontation.................. Afraid of defending yourself? Oh, you're usually passive maybe you did answer the question.........

Why can't I go through life with two beers in me constantly, then, I could, I could, I could.............ACtaully do almost anything I wanted;-) completly relaxed.

 

[JohnnyEnnui]

Yeah, I usually try to avoid confrontation: passive...passive...passive...until it builds up and I finally EXPLODE. Not good. I did that with two friends in the not-so-distant past. One treated me like crap, and the other took advantage of me...then, eventually, I couldn't take it anymore and let them know...in a volatile way. In their case, it was no real loss to dump them as friends, since they weren't good to me anyway, but I need to start asserting myself earlier in the relationship, rather than saying nothing and then blasting people verbally.

 

[JohnnyEnnui]

Why can't I go through life with two beers in me constantly, then, I could, I could, I could.............ACtaully do almost anything I wanted;-) completly relaxed.

Because you would constantly be peeing. :lol

 

[Bon1]

Your body gets used to it;-)

 

[millenniumman75]

That is soooo bad. Think of the calories. :lol

It sounds like taking a risk and sticking with it until the end. Bon, I think you could do it.

 

[cj]

when i am angry i have little anxiety. If i do have anxiety it disappears until the situation is over. I don't know how anger works for you - but for me - its great sometimes :yes

 

[BeautifullyDemented]

I let everything pass, building up inside of me until something small sets me off. I can have a horrible temper. When I'm upset, too, I don't have much anxiety.

 

[spig]

im very confrontational.it's good in way becasue otherwise people would walk all over a shy girl like me!

 

[DayTrader]

Yeah, I usually try to avoid confrontation: passive...passive...passive...until it builds up and I finally EXPLODE. Not good. I did that with two friends in the not-so-distant past. One treated me like crap, and the other took advantage of me...then, eventually, I couldn't take it anymore and let them know...in a volatile way. In their case, it was no real loss to dump them as friends, since they weren't good to me anyway, but I need to start asserting myself earlier in the relationship, rather than saying nothing and then blasting people verbally.

I'm like that and I need to change. I have trouble when I have to set boundaries for people. I give an inch and it becomes a foot and then a yard and I snap. Have a real prob w/ communicating and let things go for too long before I say anything. My best friend gf left him and he became a real dick for almost 2 yrs and I let it go until I just couldn't stand him anymore and just snapped one night at him. He was sooo shocked and had no idea how much venom had built up. Anyway I also left my gf one time w/out any talking, left a note b/c I just couldn't face the confrontation of trying to leave her. So I don't want those things to happen again and need to recognize things earlier and not let things get out of control.

 

[jay_dizzle_girl]

hmm.... i use to be afraid of confrentation WHEN i had very bad SA but am i know... ummm not as much THANK GOD i am kinda still afriad to speak up but its not as bad.

 

[leppardess]

What about explaining yourself to someone else in "Authority."

This is where I fail constantly. It doesn't matter what the situation is, I'll shut down in a heartbeat even if I'm not in a position where I have to stand up for myself. For me, I can see all sides of an argument and tend to lose sight of my side of things quickly :hide

I'm trying to get better at this but I still fail more times than I succeed