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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This weekend my mate came to visit, hes my last friend i have left, i've know him nearly all my life and hes like a brother to me, i've missed him, but since i started getting anxiety as times gone by, we have drifted further and further apart, till now i feel like hes embarrassed of me, he thinks hes better than me, and often treats me like **** cause i have no friends and no real life.
See before anxiety i used to have so many friends and women, people liked me and that, but ever since i started getting anxiety its like my hole personality has changed me. I'm now this person whos constantly thinking about what people are thinking of me, constantly thinking about what the right thing to say or do is, constantly watching myself, every step i take, every word i speak i analizing it like everything i do is a ****ing experiment and i never know how to be the right me.
So my mate came up and it was alright at first, a little awkward and boring at times cause thats just who i am, until last night, we got drunk, went out and meet some people, and immediately they didnt like me, while my mate was off laughing with them, i tried to say something to this dude, and he literally gave me like a look of 'Your pathetic', shook his head and walked off. I was drunk so i got a little depressed and went home.
My mate came back a while later and started saying "I'm your last friend, you want to loose me aswell?' and stuff like that, so i snapped, grabbed him by the throat and pined him on the ground, ramming my knee into his face. He begged me to get off him, saying 'I'm sorry, i'm sorry' so i got off him and went to sleep.
Next day he left leaving me with a message saying all this horrible stuff, so i'm pretty shattered right now.
I just cant believe how much anxiety has changed me, i hate everything about myself, no one likes me for who i am, my thought pattern is too ****ed up to put into words, i cant connect with people, i'm terrified of people so really i dont see how i'm going to get better.
 

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Man, as messed up as you feel, you sure as **** don't deserve be be spoken to the way it seems he spoke to you. I hope you took a few teeth with your knee, and i hope he comes to his senses and begins the apologies.
 

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It sounds like you're letting your anxiety get way out of control. Have you seen a therapist about it?

I'm not talking about your reaction, he deserved a good punch. I'm talking about how you seem to be losing everything and not knowing what to do.
 

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Can I ask what is it that has caused your anxiety and this massive personality change? I don't know about everyone else here at SAS, but I have had the same anxiety my whole life.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Sorry guys I just saw the replies then, didn't think any one would reply. Thanks for the advice!
And its safe to say that loosing him as a friend was the best thing to happen to me in a long time. I've let go of the past and am finally moving forward in my life.
 
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