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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I need to start talking to him more. I plan to talk to him about what's up with me it's my intention but when I'm with him I can't get the words out... at all it's like I'm paralysed. He keeps saying I look distant and asking what's on my mind and I'm not sure what to tell him. I want to tell him about the problems I'm having "dealing with things" that's all I've let him in on so far. I want to tell him about my lack of experience and I thought he'd have figured it out but I should have mentioned it before we were that close and he's asking me why I'm nervous. I didn't go over to his place last night when I said I would. I want to be with him with the opportunity to actually talk you know. I've been working alot lately and not had much chance to see him, we work together but have been on different hours. I'm starting to get nervous about talking to him and generally I'm really comfortable with him so it's annoying that NOW I get nervous. I need to tell him that it bothers me that I heard him talk about those other girls I was trying to brush it off but it's not going. I feel like I have to step lightly because he'd said he doesn't want things to become just stressful and jealous (but that's the last thing I want anyway) at the same time he knows I have to be more open with him and he's trying to get me to open up. I just wish I'd seen him more lately. Now his friend at work's started seeing a girl we work with who I mentioned on a thread on "frustration" and I feel like I have to compete with them but I just want it to be about me and him but I know he'll want to talk about things with his mate and his mate will be talking about things with him. It just adds more anxiety I wish they'd just go away for a while.

We haven't been going out as much as we used to because he's just moved and doesn't have the money to and because we've both got different schedules at the moment. But next week he's having a housewarming party and I'm getting nervous about that because I feel like there's a cliquey kind of thing at work that I'm not really in on and I get nervous about what to eat and what to drink. What I drink I get really paranoid about. I'm not that bad when it's on my turf like if I'm out with some friends I know. And that couple's gonna be there too. Things have been complicated with us and I understand that and he understands that but it's no one elses business. I really want to be with him it's just like there's pressure from myself then there's pressure from those people at work. I think maybe he feels pressure from them too. Why do guys have to talk about sex with eachother all the time.

Is there something I could do to MAKE myself talk... because it's not happening it's frustrating!!!
 

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My last girlfriend had a really hard time verbalizing things as well. She just could not and would not squeeze the words out, like you said, being paralyzed.

I told her if she has something to talk about but can't verbalize it then she can just write it down and give me a letter or text it to me. You could try that maybe? Like, you could even print off the post you made here and say you wrote a hypothetical letter to a nonexisting person venting and asking for advice. And it would let him know how you are feeling.

Just make sure if you guys get into a fight or something serious that needs to be spoken about not to use texting. Also you have to be careful because no one can read the tone of texts and often times it can create misunderstandings.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
That's a good idea but I couldn't do that, write it down, I'd find that much more embarassing. We text more than we do talk at the moment because of our different schedules but I try not to talk about things like that. It seems cowardly. When we spend more time together I feel more comfortable I feel almost completely comfortable with him. I don't know what I need to say I just know I need to communicate more. And about some things I don't want to seem immature and jealous. I wish there was something to just make me suck it up and talk.
 
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