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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
How is one suppose to get through post secondary education with S.A. My parents are forcing me to go in the fall and as the days tick away i get more nervous just thinking about it. I went last year but i only lasted 4 days. I was in a dorm room with 4 other guys, and the S.A. was just too much to handle, so i told my parents i didn't like my course (that was a lie) and they let me move back home. Since then i have been working a dead end job that actually pays pretty good, but not enough to make a solid living on. I know there are sa'ers out there who are in school or who have graduated, and I have to ask you how did you cope? The only advantage I have regarding going back to school this year will be that I am turning 19 on August 13th so I can legally drink so i plan to drink everyday in order to get by. Any words of wisdom?
 

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First of all, I don't think drinking in order to get by is any kind of a solution.

Secondly, I have graduated, and I have at least one suggestion. I don't know if your school requires you to live on campus during your freshman year, but at the University here, you can live at home if you choose to do so, if you live in town. Maybe that would be a better option than living with roommates?

I lived at home with my parents (where I was comfortable) during school, and I didn't move out until I had a job long enough to save up for my own place, where, again, I did not have roommates. I really can't imagine living with roommates. To me, that sounds impossible. I think my SA would win out very quickly, as it seems yours did.

It's really nice to have a place to go back to, after class, where you're comfortable being. It made it a little easier to get up and go to class each day.

Also, once I got through the first year or so, getting my basic requirement classes out of the way, I starting taking courses specific to my degree. This meant I was seeing a lot of the same classmates in several of my classes and I began to feel more comfortable with them as time went on.

I hope some of this helps.
 

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I'm relatively in the same situation as yours except i don't have a job to rely on. Right now I'm still in the admissions stage of getting into the college and that alone has left me depleted of what little motivation I had to go to college. I'm unsure of what the experience will be like but I will try to use the same technique that I used to churn my way through High School which meant separating my mind from my emotions and just focusing on academics.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Secondly, I have graduated, and I have at least one suggestion. I don't know if your school requires you to live on campus during your freshman year, but at the University here, you can live at home if you choose to do so, if you live in town. Maybe that would be a better option than living with roommates?

I lived at home with my parents (where I was comfortable) during school, and I didn't move out until I had a job long enough to save up for my own place, where, again, I did not have roommates. I really can't imagine living with roommates. To me, that sounds impossible. I think my SA would win out very quickly, as it seems yours did.
Yes, there is the choice of live at home which I will be taking full advantage of. I just couldn't stand all the partying and girls and all that non-sense when i was in the dorms last year. Living at home will be a blessing for sure.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
. I'm unsure of what the experience will be like but I will try to use the same technique that I used to churn my way through High School which meant separating my mind from my emotions and just focusing on academics.
Thank You, I will be sure to keep this in mind.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Do you have to introduce yourself to the class in College?
I did at my last school which was SCARY!!! Im hoping some teachers will just introduce themselfs and not have the students say anything but im afraid ill have to speak up when my name is called.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
On a side note I just really hate school. Im not even talking about the sa part of it, I just really do not enjoy learning things and reading things that i will not remember or have no relation to what im taking. I feel like I can get a better education by spending a day on Wikipedia. Seriously the education system is wack. Too bad employeers won't even look at your resume unless you have that degree.
 

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On a side note I just really hate school. Im not even talking about the sa part of it, I just really do not enjoy learning things and reading things that i will not remember or have no relation to what im taking. I feel like I can get a better education by spending a day on Wikipedia. Seriously the education system is wack. Too bad employeers won't even look at your resume unless you have that degree.
I don't like school, either - at least about 98.5% of the time:no

But I really do believe that if I weren't going to school, I'd be in a worse state than I am in now. I don't have a job or any special talent I can live off, and, even if I had all the qualifications in the world, right now, I don't think anyone would consider employing me. Or rather, even if they did, I know I'd end up being miserable. School forces me to interact with people, and although I suck majorly at it, if I didn't go to school/work, I'd end up holing myself up in my room and rot.

I can understand a little bit about the degree stuff (and degrees don't even ensure employment anymore, anyways) but education isn't just about solid facts and figures. At the start of the year, I thought that all that my course really required would be the knowledge aspect, but in reality, that's just the minimum requirement. It's the people's skills, leaderships skills, communication skills and all that stuff that's really important, and you can't achieve that by studying wiki.

Besides, the Big Man up there can be generous. There's people who're super-sexy, super-brainy, super-friendly and popular out there, and we'll be competing against them with just the brains (or, in my case, half a brain).

And no to the drinking:blank
 

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Some schools offer single dorms, and others have studio apartments on campus. Have you looked into either of those options?
 

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Being nervous is completely normal, dude when I was 18 and going to college, oh man the entire month of August seemed like a panic attack knowing I was going to college. I expected it to be like I saw in the movies, party fest, hardcore socializing 24/7, girls/guys all over eachother, etc.

The worst was moving in, i'd say I was 95% terrified, 5% excited. In many ways I felt I was the only one actually on campus who was not excited, lol. Yes, I had a roommate the first year (its required if you live on campus, I think its for 'suicide watch' reasons, lol). As a freshman, we had this 'Freshman Kickoff' kind of program at our university, it was optional to attend. After moving in, I just couldn't get myself out to that program, I felt so alone because of the anxiety/nervousness/shyness/being away from home. Every crappy emotion was there.

And oh yeah, I soooooooo wanted to call it quits and go back home, you have no idea. I was on the edge of saying 'Screw this im going back'. I ended up attending that freshman thing the day before it ended, lol, some of the people in my group had this look towards me like "Where the hell you've been the last few days, todays the last day".

Nonetheless, the feelings slowly subside and everything simmers down. Eventually you get used to it. But, my worst fears were about to be realized when this started, just a few days after moving in:

Do you have to introduce yourself to the class in College?
Eeeeeyeeeeepppp. Nearly every class under 30 students. The classes that have like 30-90 people obviously not, that'd take forever. Either you'll stand up from your seat by yourself and introduce yourself, or sometimes they'll have you come up with a partner in front of the entire class and you introduce eachother. Some teachers dont do the whole 'introduce yourself thing', but instead play icebreaker games, like group projects/games on the first day to get to know people.

Yeah, I probably lost some 20 gallons of water that week just in sweat alone, rofl.

My first class in college, there was like 30 people in there, and the teacher was one of those really pumped-up excited guys (great...ugh). His first thing was 'Well lets break the ice and everyone stand up one by one and introduce yourselves to the class'. I nearly crapped my pants, oh god. Whats worst is they handed out 'Get to know me' sheets, and you got with a partner and got to know eachother, then you would both stand up and introduce the other person.

So our turn came up, my partner introduced me, what I like, my major, age, blah blah. I introduced him *with insane anxiety*. My voice was choking so bad and I was so shaky. I felt like a total piece of crap when I walked out of that class. What a great impression I left, everyones looking at me and my voice is all shaky, hands trembling.

I dropped the class the next day, lol. 50% was because of that, 50% because the syllabus was excessively ridiculous (like, we had to go and do pseudo-internships, interview people, etc. Everything someone with SA 100% hates to do). I switched to another professor and she was super easy, we watched movies half the time, haha.

I did 1 year in college full time, then I left (believe me, it was not because of SA though at all). It was too expensive for me to bear. I worked the last 3 years and saved a ton of money, and i'm going back (actually in 4 weeks).

The plus side is, I was 19 when I left, i'm 22 (soon to be 23) when i'm coming back. I feel so different and prepared, I know what to expect, and i'm actually excited. And, I feel because of my age, I wont be looked down upon either. I'm not the super-SA person I was when I was 19, I have no problem talking with girls, guys, etc. I still have stage fright, but now I handle all of those with Beta Blockers (Inderal).

All in all, its a win-win. Any anxiety situations (like presentations/class intros) I take beta-blockers, problem solved. I didnt have those back when I was 19 or whatever. Now I do. And the other things that freaked me out when I was 19? Girls, friends, dating, going out? Excite me today.

So this time, its a nice change to be excited versus terrified. Not excited for the workload/classes obviously, but actually excited to get in the mix of people my own age. And this time I have my own dorm room (single room), no roomates. I have no problem living with a roommate SA wise (doesnt affect me at all), roommates just annoy me/get on my nerves, so I wanted to live solo. Plus, if I get in a relationship, at least I could bring a girlfriend back to my single dorm room and not have to worry about a roommate being there :D

Hopefully this provides some insight into things. You HAVE to just endure it and go for it, trust that things will change because they will. You grow up a bit, things dont scare you as much, and you feel like you're on top of your game. All that comes from the experience, so once you get that experience, you'll feel the same ;) And soon, talking to girls, even hanging out with them, doesnt feel any different than with a guy/guys. Class presentations become not so terrifying either, they become 'Oh yeah another one of those'. Sure I still got anxiety from them, but after like half a years doing them when I was there, it becomes easier, you just want to get it done with and you start to focus more on 'lets just get it done' versus 'oh my god i'm going to die'.
 

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You might want check out your campus mental health place. Services are usually free for full time students. So might as well see if they can offer you something. If it is a big school maybe they would have a therapy group for social anxiety?
In my experience groups for social anxiety & mindfulness groups have been great. "Process" groups with people who don't have social anxiety... not so much.
Also if you find your SA getting in the way of your school work I have had some positive (and some negative, but more positive) experiences with disability services offices.
 
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