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Noona
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi guys....I'm starting this thread for college students or new college students to vent on their issues and get advice. I put this thread here because this section gets the most traffic, and obviously SA affects people largely in a college environment. I'll start with my story.

My first year of college was difficult. It was the beginning of my SA becoming more extreme than its ever been. This was due mostly to having to share a room with two strangers, something I've never had to do before. I didn't try to get close with my roommates and we had nothing in common. I shut myself off from the other people in my dorm hall. I thought that dorm living would help my shyness, but it became worse. I only made some associates, but no close friends.

My 2nd year begins in a week!! I'm nervous about having group projects in class, but that's about it. I'll have my own apartment and my own room!! I'm so happy about it. Having my own space is a large part of my state of mind. I'm positive that this year will be better than my last.

Share your story, vent or ask for advice. Everyone is here to help. :)
 

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this is a great idea for a tread! where was this when i was a freshman in college?? lol I'm a senior in college right now and im freaking out about getting into grad school and gettin a job after i graduate

but i know how u feel about living with people.. i've been living with 3 other girls since ive been at school.. it can be really tough
 

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Noona
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
this is a great idea for a tread! where was this when i was a freshman in college?? lol I'm a senior in college right now and im freaking out about getting into grad school and gettin a job after i graduate

but i know how u feel about living with people.. i've been living with 3 other girls since ive been at school.. it can be really tough
How do you like your roommates?? Mine were nice last year, but one girl constantly had her boyfriend in the room and it was so annoying. :roll
 

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Thanks for making this thread!
I just started my freshmen year of college. I am probably off to a bad start socially, because I am living at home and commuting. We'll see how it goes.
 

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Noona
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks for making this thread!
I just started my freshmen year of college. I am probably off to a bad start socially, because I am living at home and commuting. We'll see how it goes.
You're welcome. And commuting doesn't open many social doors, but you could still make friends in your classes.
 

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How do you like your roommates?? Mine were nice last year, but one girl constantly had her boyfriend in the room and it was so annoying. :roll
my roommates from freshman year probably thought i was weird cause i barely talked.. they were really nice to me but i didnt like living with them cause they were messy. i was lucky to meet a couple of nice girls that year on my floor that i became roommates with sophomore year till now. they are pretty cool & ive been able to open up to them a lot
 

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I have actually recently graduated college a couple years ago, but saw this thread and felt similar things my freshman year. I suffered with SA a lot through high school and was getting treatment for it. I went to a college no one from my high school was going to so I could get a fresh start away from people that were mean to me.

I was nervous and excited about college, having SA and all. I luckily ended up with an amazing roommate that had almost the exact same interests as me and also had generalized anxiety. So we talked about that and was nice to have a friend I could talk to before classes started. We also had 2 suite-mates that we ended up getting along with really well too and all got an apartment together the next year. So that made college a lot better have a few really good friends to hang out with all the time.

I did fine in most of my classes. I dropped a couple because the teacher made me too nervous to sit there. She said we should know answers if she called on us or we shouldn't be in the class and I always freeze up getting asked questions. Presentations were rough, but it got better as the years went on. Now I'm just working on getting a job which is making me nervous all over again!

Hope you all do well through college and enjoy the experiences ahead!
 

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I like this thread. I'm a senior in college. Sadly, I feel like I am learning to be a bit more social and open to meeting new people just as my college career is ending. Oh well. Even though my social anxiety still affects me in going out a lot, and meeting a ton of people, I am making some friends, and I do love my roommates who have helped bring me out of my shell a bit.
But yeah, my senior year is definitely stressing me. I have to do presentations this year, and my classes are smaller which require more interaction and discussion. Just gotta breathe..
 

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Great thread. I'm a senior and I haven't made any friends. I transferred so it's not TOO sad. But I try to join student orgs ( I have upcoming meetings, my first meeting--ignored)...and I honestly feel ignored and don't feel charismatic as others. Like I'm quickly ignored for someone who is more louder and bigger. Because I'm small and I guess I have a low voice....and I don't sound like I'm super happy. IT IS SO HARD TO SURVIVE IN COLLEGE. EVERY DAY it is so hard to get through the day because I see all these group of girlfriends having so much fun and happy to be around each other. And its even more hard because I know these people are going to be successful because they have the social skills to get them there. I go to one of the top schools in California so yes...it's not one of the top. its more like THE TOP. So everyone is just so flawless and perfect and socially acceptable...I have so much breaks in between classes , and it GETSSS SOOOOOOOO soooo boring and lonely. OK DONE with rant:(
 

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My SA is not as severe as others around here but during my freshman year I felt a little nervous and English class was torture for me. I hate presenting and reading out loud. But I force myself or miss class. I have met a few people but they seem too social and after a while they do not seem interested in me :( If only they knew the real me at home.
 

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Noona
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I have actually recently graduated college a couple years ago, but saw this thread and felt similar things my freshman year. I suffered with SA a lot through high school and was getting treatment for it. I went to a college no one from my high school was going to so I could get a fresh start away from people that were mean to me.

I was nervous and excited about college, having SA and all. I luckily ended up with an amazing roommate that had almost the exact same interests as me and also had generalized anxiety. So we talked about that and was nice to have a friend I could talk to before classes started. We also had 2 suite-mates that we ended up getting along with really well too and all got an apartment together the next year. So that made college a lot better have a few really good friends to hang out with all the time.

I did fine in most of my classes. I dropped a couple because the teacher made me too nervous to sit there. She said we should know answers if she called on us or we shouldn't be in the class and I always freeze up getting asked questions. Presentations were rough, but it got better as the years went on. Now I'm just working on getting a job which is making me nervous all over again!

Hope you all do well through college and enjoy the experiences ahead!
I'm glad your experience was mostly positive! That gives others here hope.
 

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Noona
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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Great thread. I'm a senior and I haven't made any friends. I transferred so it's not TOO sad. But I try to join student orgs ( I have upcoming meetings, my first meeting--ignored)...and I honestly feel ignored and don't feel charismatic as others. Like I'm quickly ignored for someone who is more louder and bigger. Because I'm small and I guess I have a low voice....and I don't sound like I'm super happy. IT IS SO HARD TO SURVIVE IN COLLEGE. EVERY DAY it is so hard to get through the day because I see all these group of girlfriends having so much fun and happy to be around each other. And its even more hard because I know these people are going to be successful because they have the social skills to get them there. I go to one of the top schools in California so yes...it's not one of the top. its more like THE TOP. So everyone is just so flawless and perfect and socially acceptable...I have so much breaks in between classes , and it GETSSS SOOOOOOOO soooo boring and lonely. OK DONE with rant:(
Awww. I'm glad you posted here. This is a thread for help and advice after all. Just because someone is more outgoing doesn't mean they're going to be more successful. I'm sure you have the same intellect as everyone else! I would suggest to you that you stop comparing yourself to others, and focus on the root of your SA. Work on yourself first, and don't look at how others are just to make yourself feel worse.
 

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i want to say, I go to group therapy for my social anxieties. That's one thing I'm glad to take advantage of in college. I would like to make friends in my classroom but it still feels like a big challenge. I just dont feel confident enough to say what's on my mind and participate or bring up something new in a conversation. At least in group therapy I can share what I feel and no one will judge (least I hope not). Bottom line is for any college student with SA.....group therapy could be the best treatment.
 

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Noona
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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
i want to say, I go to group therapy for my social anxieties. That's one thing I'm glad to take advantage of in college. I would like to make friends in my classroom but it still feels like a big challenge. I just dont feel confident enough to say what's on my mind and participate or bring up something new in a conversation. At least in group therapy I can share what I feel and no one will judge (least I hope not). Bottom line is for any college student with SA.....group therapy could be the best treatment.
I'll have to see if that's an option at my school.
 

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I'm 3 days into my 1st year of university after taking a year off for work experience. I really felt I matured a lot and grew more able in how to be sociable while working in an office with various age groups. I was very very pumped to go to university and meet new people, meet girls.

And somehow...1st day I didn't feel anything. Not anxious or worried. Nor excited and full of energy. Just another day. I've had a hard time breaking out of that lethargic mindset since then. A years worth of anticipation kind of fell flat. I expected to just go and meeting ppl would just...happen.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still very positive about everything and I know the things I need to do to meet people. Its just whenever there's situations in class where I could turn and talk to the person next to me, I wait and wait until I have 100% chance of success, which is always too late. Even on the bus, this girl and I were blatantly looking at each other and shyly smiling, but I never went up to talk to her. I'm self conscious about ppl listening to me opening up with another person. I can never be my full self.

1st few days are tough, because anyone who knows anyone bunches in groups and if you know no one, you have to wait and be patient for your time to come. Which I've been doing for 18 years!

I met a girl during orientation, and expected to see her the next day, only for her to skip orientation day 2. I'm always left with an empty feeling of frustration. If only I had've known this would happen, or if only I had've done that.

But its not for lack of trying in coming weeks. I'm looking to join the campus toastmasters group and paid sign fees already for ballroom dance courses. Other volunteer opportunities I'm on the lookout for.

Sooo...we'll see. 3 days does not make a university career. Lots of time left for things to pick up.
 

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I finally had to move into my own place with is 8 minutes away from my current University where I will be studying for the next 11-12 years. So far there are 4 roommates on this floor besides me and 2-3 are really cool, the 4th one, ive never even seen lol! Only my next door neighbour is ever around, the rest are just always gone. I LOVE having my own place. I almost finished decorating it, just need to wait for my computer grant in the next 2 weeks then I will have a fully operational appartment. This is my 2nd home, since I never really moved out of my parents house nor did I move anything out of that room, I just made a duplicate room. Plus I have my own room in my friend's condo near Toronto on the 22nd floor, and finally when things go well enough with my gf and with me and her family, I'll be able to live there in Toronto too (aka 4 places to call home ^_^)
 

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Noona
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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I finally had to move into my own place with is 8 minutes away from my current University where I will be studying for the next 11-12 years. So far there are 4 roommates on this floor besides me and 2-3 are really cool, the 4th one, ive never even seen lol! Only my next door neighbour is ever around, the rest are just always gone. I LOVE having my own place. I almost finished decorating it, just need to wait for my computer grant in the next 2 weeks then I will have a fully operational appartment. This is my 2nd home, since I never really moved out of my parents house nor did I move anything out of that room, I just made a duplicate room. Plus I have my own room in my friend's condo near Toronto on the 22nd floor, and finally when things go well enough with my gf and with me and her family, I'll be able to live there in Toronto too (aka 4 places to call home ^_^)
I'm glad you're having a positive experience.
 

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I'm still having difficulty making friends.

I feel like I'm just not interesting to people at all. I've tried to join in some conversations with a comment or two, but I can never get another word in and they don't try to involve me. One time, I was sitting in a class and three girls were talking literally right around me. I listened to try to get in too but it was about sororities which I have zero interest in...

I had two people say they were going to add me to Facebook, and I wrote down my name for them in their notebooks (it's not spelled how it's normally said >_>; ), but they never did... I only have one FB friend from campus because I have to interview an art student for a class. I suggested we add each other to know what the other looks like, and he told me to add him. I'm kinda hoping I might be able to become friends kind of with him, but the interviewing is going to be awkward enough as it is...

The really sad part is I see people who potentially have a similar interest (a girl wearing a wolf shirt which is one of my favorite animals or other gamers at a gaming club), but I'm STILL too scared to talk to them. :(
 
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