It has gotten better since I left highschool. In highschool, everyone knew each other, and I felt very self conscious in those small classrooms. Now, I'm anonymous in university, so I don't feel that conscious anymore in class. It also has a bit to do with outgrowing the extreme anxiety.
college: better or worse sa than in high school?
Has your sa increased or decreased since you got to college? what kinds of things do you do to cope in general (what is a typical day like for you- do you avoid, or use coping tools, etc)
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far worse. Everyone's gone wild in uni (finally breaking off from parents and what not...), while i stayed the same.
OK, frankly, maybe the actual core was much the same, but the effective result in college was drastically more severe. It had every opportunity to show itself. One of the things i blame for a severe s.a. back in those days, is sudden, extreme exposure. It doesn't do pretty things. Too much exposure can do really bad things. I noted i had social anxiety when i started college. It all culminated going into my third year..but i couldn't do it, so i had a whole year break, went overseas. That was my worst year...complete despair. Then when i came back i realized i can't really do as much as i wanted to...so my aspirations, grades..etc went down, while my sa started improving. Now i'm very careful not to overload myself, which works well.
OK, frankly, maybe the actual core was much the same, but the effective result in college was drastically more severe. It had every opportunity to show itself. One of the things i blame for a severe s.a. back in those days, is sudden, extreme exposure. It doesn't do pretty things. Too much exposure can do really bad things. I noted i had social anxiety when i started college. It all culminated going into my third year..but i couldn't do it, so i had a whole year break, went overseas. That was my worst year...complete despair. Then when i came back i realized i can't really do as much as i wanted to...so my aspirations, grades..etc went down, while my sa started improving. Now i'm very careful not to overload myself, which works well.
I got worse, just because I don't live on campus.
Far worse. I knew so many people in high school and actually had friends, now I have nothing.
Better. You have more freedom to do as you please.
You're not restrained to a small area and can go about as you wish.
On top of that, you get out of those crappy cliques that exist in high schools.
Everybody during your freshman is in the same stage you are and thus they are pretty open-ended regarding socialization. Recommendation from me is to find a circle of friends during your freshman year because natural cliques will form and it will be more difficult to find friends later on. Not impossible, just harder.
You're not restrained to a small area and can go about as you wish.
On top of that, you get out of those crappy cliques that exist in high schools.
Everybody during your freshman is in the same stage you are and thus they are pretty open-ended regarding socialization. Recommendation from me is to find a circle of friends during your freshman year because natural cliques will form and it will be more difficult to find friends later on. Not impossible, just harder.
Better, since people don't have that attitute that everyone seems to have in high school. Everyone is nicer. People are still into cliques, though.
Exactly.Sheri said:Far worse. I knew so many people in high school and actually had friends, now I have nothing.
I did have SA in high school, I never got the girls I wanted. But when I was with my friends, the laughter never stopped. None of the bad stuff mattered.
What do I have now? Ugattz, nothing. I hated high school. but now all I want is to go back.
(However, my high school friends are still my best friends. The problem is I don't have any friends at university. See my other topic)
College has its pros and its cons. I find it easier because you're not forced to go to class and there's less rules. Also I find it easier to get better grades. Cons would be it's hard to meet people especially if your at a large college and I have an increased homework load. Overall though I find college to be better than high school.
I think it's the same. I still have to deal with awkward moments where one (or more) person is walking towards me and I'm walking towards them, and I really hate going through that. For me, college isn't all that different from high school. The only big difference is that you're more on your own and there isn't one big schedule for everyone to follow.
It's been a little better in college. I think this partially has to do with the fact that I have more choice in avoiding situations that make me anxious. I'm able to pick and choose freely. Also, I have much more opportunities to practice social skills and practice reducing my anxiety. I don't have to worry so much now about making a mistake and coming off as weird, because I live in a big city and I will probably never have to enter that situation again, or at least not very often. Going to high school in a suburb is way different. It's a naseating, dulling experience. You start to question, "How can I change my reputation now?" You feel stuck.
The best part of college is that you go, and instantly your value shoots up. In high school, I always felt inadequate, quite useless actually. I was always told by teachers that I'd never get into a good school if I didn't have a lot of extracurricular activies and I didn't hold any leadship positions. Now that I'm in college I don't hear that anymore. I don't have to stumble through an answer to the question "Do you have any hobbies?" (is watching tv a hobby?). If I just say I go to college now, people assume I'm smart and that I'm a busy person. In short, I have one less thing to worry about when talking to people--the possiblitly of the other person thinking there is something wrong with me.
The best part of college is that you go, and instantly your value shoots up. In high school, I always felt inadequate, quite useless actually. I was always told by teachers that I'd never get into a good school if I didn't have a lot of extracurricular activies and I didn't hold any leadship positions. Now that I'm in college I don't hear that anymore. I don't have to stumble through an answer to the question "Do you have any hobbies?" (is watching tv a hobby?). If I just say I go to college now, people assume I'm smart and that I'm a busy person. In short, I have one less thing to worry about when talking to people--the possiblitly of the other person thinking there is something wrong with me.
College is much better than high school was for me. Like someone else said, it's easier to be anonymous and just do what you gotta do. Also the instructors seem much more helpful than in high school. I got horrible grades in high school but college i'm finding much more easier.
I just started College so I may need to gain some more experience here first before making a valid decision.
But from what I have seen so far-and what I forsee in my future- The SA will be better to a certain degree, and worse at the same time. Yeah, you are anonymous and no one is directing attention at you. But you are anonymous and with SA it may be more comfortable for you to just stay in the background while everyone is "living it up". So you might get lost and end up not having any friends. I know I don't have any right now.
And sometimes I feel like I am under pressure to perform socially because my roommate will bring her friends over, and I don't really have any of my own yet, which makes me feel awkward. Everyone else will be going to parties and acting pretty promiscuous, and I just can't get into those things. I'm not trying to be judgemental here, it's just that I wouldn't know how to be at a party because I have never gone to one-given by a peer that is-and I've never even had a boyfriend so it is highly unlikely that I will just "hook-up" with some random guy, which is pretty common around here-at least among the freshmen who don't know what else to do with themselves on a Friday night. I guess in college, SA has turned me more into a "goody-two shoes", as they like to call me.
But from what I have seen so far-and what I forsee in my future- The SA will be better to a certain degree, and worse at the same time. Yeah, you are anonymous and no one is directing attention at you. But you are anonymous and with SA it may be more comfortable for you to just stay in the background while everyone is "living it up". So you might get lost and end up not having any friends. I know I don't have any right now.
And sometimes I feel like I am under pressure to perform socially because my roommate will bring her friends over, and I don't really have any of my own yet, which makes me feel awkward. Everyone else will be going to parties and acting pretty promiscuous, and I just can't get into those things. I'm not trying to be judgemental here, it's just that I wouldn't know how to be at a party because I have never gone to one-given by a peer that is-and I've never even had a boyfriend so it is highly unlikely that I will just "hook-up" with some random guy, which is pretty common around here-at least among the freshmen who don't know what else to do with themselves on a Friday night. I guess in college, SA has turned me more into a "goody-two shoes", as they like to call me.
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