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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've been seeing a new psychologist for a little while now, she's given me a sheet on challenging self-criticism to fill out before i see her again... but i'm finding i cant think of anything to put...anything i think of seems too fake like an ant telling itself it is an elephant :roll

anybody have any suggestions? of positive self talk thats not so unrealistic?


the sheet is set out with 3 columns
self-critical thoughts. consequences. alternative thinking

my negitive thoughts are stuff like...
i'm not worth anything
your a monster
your weak and pathetic
i hate you
you dont deserve happyness or love
your a black hole person, a void, ugly, dull, crazy
how could anyone ever like you, no one ever really did
etc etc

i'm supposed to come up with strong opposing alternatives for these thoughts but so far i got nuthin :no

any input appreciated
 

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Querdenker
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What you think of to challenge self-criticism is not unrealistic. It only seems so.

Social phobia is speaking, because it is trying to preserve itself. It is like the "Quit" television advertisement, where the smoking-habit appears as a gas within a cylinder and tells its host: "you will never get rid of me", "you have tried before and failed" etc.

When I did the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) course at Macquarie University in Sydney, a course member said exactly the same thing - "it is fake". That someone else used exactly the same words shows that social phobia is speaking and trying to run interference.
 

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I had to do this, I found it really hard as well! Maybe think of past events that have proven your negative thoughts to be wrong. I'm reading a book about CBT and another one it talks about is thinking of your rights, such as you have the right to be wrong, you have the write to not agree with someone else and to have your own opinion, things like that. So your self critical thought is 'you dont deserve happyness or love'. A consequence could be, it strengthens your depression/anxiety, and prevents you from loving yourself and forming relationships (this is just an example, so not sure if it relates to you). Alternative thinking could be, I have the right to be happy and find love, I am a nice person and I care about the well being of others so why shouldn't I be happy and loved? things like that :) Hope this helps a bit
 

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Positive self-talk I use (that's realistic):

You're not a bad bloke after all
See, you're not as bad as you thought you were
Don't worry, there's worse than you
Useless can mean cute in some contexts
Not good enough? If anything you're better than most
Your dog loves you at least
I'm not unloveable all the time
Don't depend on her love
I love you even if no-one else does
Even God makes mistakes sometimes
 

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What you think of to challenge self-criticism is not unrealistic. It only seems so.

Social phobia is speaking, because it is trying to preserve itself. It is like the "Quit" television advertisement, where the smoking-habit appears as a gas within a cylinder and tells its host: "you will never get rid of me", "you have tried before and failed" etc.

When I did the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) course at Macquarie University in Sydney, a course member said exactly the same thing - "it is fake". That someone else used exactly the same words shows that social phobia is speaking and trying to run interference.
Sounds like you know what you're talking about. It appears similar to Tolle's "pain-body" which can lay dormant, then suddenly awaken in a person and wreak havoc by reacting to negative stimuli.
 

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Am I only noticing the bad stuff? Am I filtering out the positives? Am I wearing those
‘gloomy specs’? What would be more realistic?

Mind-Reading
Am I assuming I know what others are thinking? What’s the evidence? Those are my
own thoughts, not theirs. Is there another, more balanced way of looking at it?
Prediction
Am I thinking that I can predict the future? How likely is it that that might really
happen?
Compare & despair
Am I doing that ‘compare and despair’ thing? What would be a more balanced and
helpful way of looking at it?
Critical self
There I go, that internal bully’s at it again. Would most people who really know me say
that about me? Is this something that I am totally responsible for?
Shoulds and musts
Am I putting more pressure on myself, setting up expectations of myself that are almost
impossible? What would be more realistic?
Judgements
I’m making an evaluation about the situation or person. It’s how I make sense of the
world, but that doesn’t mean my judgements are always right or helpful. Is there
another perspective?
Emotional Reasoning
Just because it feels bad, doesn’t necessary mean it is bad. My feelings are just a
reaction to my thoughts – and thoughts are just automatic brain reflexes
Mountains and
molehills
Am I exaggerating the good aspects of others, and putting myself down? Or am I
exaggerating the negative and minimising the positives? How would someone else see it?
What’s the bigger picture?
Catastrophising
OK, thinking that the worst possible thing will definitely happen isn’t really helpful right
now. What’s most likely to happen?
Black and white
thinking
Things aren’t either totally white or totally black – there are shades of grey. Where is
this on the spectrum?
Memories This is just a reminder of the past. That was then, and this is now. Even though this
memory makes me feel upset, it’s not actually happening again right now
 
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