[roverred]

In general, I find CBT very helpful and productive, but are there any cases you find CBT is counter productive and how do you handle that? CBT can get habitual and you just unconsciously apply it to a situation. For example, although negatives thoughts can lead to not to so healthy emotions, it can still be a healthy thing. Being too rational/logical can be less spontaneous and personable at times. I started thinking about this when I use to be a lot more fit, it was fairly easy for me to motivate myself to exercise and eat well because I was doing it for others. To show them that I can be capable, get their approval, show them I'm better, and the likes. However, thinking about that can be pretty rocky sometimes as you put their self esteem in their hands and can make you spiteful. After practicing CBT more, I tend to focus more about doing things for me and making myself happy rather than pleasing others. I'm finding it a lot harder to motivate myself than in the past, emotions are a lot more motivating than rationality. Plus, my self-esteem isn't the greatest, so doing things for myself isn't easy as it is doing it for others. It's probably having better self-talk in motivation and balancing overall, but I'm just curious on your overall thoughts.

 

[athena2012]

I think it is natural for us to want to look good in other people's eyes. We need to look good in our own eyes first and foremost but if the desire to 'show your best side' motivates you to do what you ultimately want to do for yourself anyway, then I don't think that's such a bad thing. We need to achieve a balance that satisfies our own self esteem but also recognizes that it's OK to want to look good to others. I think we get into trouble when we start doing things to impress others that we don't really want to do and don't care that much about.