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Although this would fit in the frustration forum, it is more of an SA issue.

Today I was walking along and I see this nice dog sniffing around the corner where all of a sudden an old prick appears infront of me yelling at his dog and from such shock I jumped. I seriously thought the dog was gonna get a pounding by him to get back in his car. I would of loved to of confronted him but my anxiety was so high I couldn't face him so I kept walking in such disgust of him and my helpless help for the dog :( :mum. That old d*ck needed a bullet.

Secondly, as the day couldn't of possibly got any worse from that incident, I was waiting behind a guy of an ATM machine. I was waiting for 5 mins (this guy took forever), and this mother of 4 shows up. So what happens? The guy finishes and she just pushes in like I don't exist. At this point, my blood was boiling.
1. She's a b!tch. and 2. I'm a ***** for not speaking up for myself. So obviously I didn't say anything once she finished.

I don't think I'll ever be able to confront people who really ticks me. Period. I know it's not healthy to keep it in but I still have all this anger and here I am posting it here.

Has anyone been able to stand up and voice your anger or do you bottle it all inside?
 

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Has anyone been able to stand up and voice your anger or do you bottle it all inside?
I bottle it all inside. I just feel numb when stuff like that happens, that maybe I did something wrong or offended the person somehow. Someone says something completely hurtful and I just freeze up and feel detached and confused, and think, "Who me?! What did I do?" It's hard to think that maybe people can just be pushy and intentionally cruel. (If, by some miracle, I do manage to say something, I will feel guilty and horrible and worry that I got it all wrong and did the wrong thing. I worry that I am a horrible person and a huge *****.)

It's not until much later, when my mind is not so clouded by anxiety, that I can think and start to feel angry and completely powerless.

I have never been able to talk about things right away (I have to be able to process stuff first), and only to certain people. I usually talk to my sister or my dad. Usually by the time I get stuff out of my system, it is so much after the fact that it is pointless or too late to do anything about the problem.
 

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hey

i can see from your wards you look really angry.. and you said it by your self its not healthy,, but you are wrong at something,, you will change if you want to so badly,, your destiny is in your hands,, your choices will make up the life you r living,, dont ever give up ,, you already know the problem and also the solution you just need motivation ,, ask your self why you want to change ,, may be you ll have the motivation you need.
 

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to reply `nobody know..`

i my self have the same problem but recently i ve thought
why do i always assume that the other person is right and im wrong reaching a point doubting my thoughts and my mental capabilities ,, and ignoring every logic and follow my feelings of fear and non sense thoughts about feeling inferior ,,,
we r just being unfair to our selves ,, treating others better than the way we treat ourselves...
our thoughs r what killing us ,, but they also can be the cure.. thoughts can be changed if we just thought of our selves good enough ,, sa will be history..
 

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I have always been bottling stuff up also, but it gets to me when I do now. I’m at a point in life that it just doesn’t matter to me if I do get my head pounded in, I’m going to say something. I don’t mean like the guy and his dog, but someone who does something to insult me, that is when my hackles get up and the tension builds to a point of near panic attack.
The problem is that the fear and anxiety make me fumble with my attempts to confront, I get angry and curse and that only makes things worse. I’m sure that it comes across as fear, but that is better than bottling stuff up and it may get easier each time.
I don’t believe in fighting, it has never solved anything other than to decide who is tougher; in the long run the crap still smells like crap. It is funny how the ***h*** always want to fight it out instead of stand up and talk through the misunderstanding or whatever. The one who can overcome the hype of I’m the tough guy is the better person.
 

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Although this would fit in the frustration forum, it is more of an SA issue.

Today I was walking along and I see this nice dog sniffing around the corner where all of a sudden an old prick appears infront of me yelling at his dog and from such shock I jumped. I seriously thought the dog was gonna get a pounding by him to get back in his car. I would of loved to of confronted him but my anxiety was so high I couldn't face him so I kept walking in such disgust of him and my helpless help for the dog :( :mum. That old d*ck needed a bullet.
I'd have said something. I can't stand people abusing animals. Any anxiety I have goes right out of the window if I see any of that going on.

Secondly, as the day couldn't of possibly got any worse from that incident, I was waiting behind a guy of an ATM machine. I was waiting for 5 mins (this guy took forever),
What's with that? You'd think some people were entering their life story into those things! They stand there forever pushing button after button. How long does it take to enter a 4 digit PIN and then select how much ca$h you want? Come on, people! Some of us have plans for the rest of the year!

and this mother of 4 shows up. So what happens? The guy finishes and she just pushes in like I don't exist. At this point, my blood was boiling.
1. She's a b!tch. and 2. I'm a ***** for not speaking up for myself. So obviously I didn't say anything once she finished.
Just plain rude. You should have said something. Politely, but firmly.

I don't think I'll ever be able to confront people who really ticks me. Period. I know it's not healthy to keep it in but I still have all this anger and here I am posting it here.

Has anyone been able to stand up and voice your anger or do you bottle it all inside?
Depends on the situation. I'd have said something about the dog, but I'd have probably just fumed inside about the pusher-in.
 

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I bottle it all inside. I just feel numb when stuff like that happens, or that maybe I did something wrong or offended the person somehow. Someone says something completely hurtful and I just freeze up and feel detached and confused, and think, "Who me?! What did I do?" It's hard to think that maybe people can just be pushy and intentionally cruel. (If, by some miracle, I do manage to say something, I will feel guilty and horrible and worry that I got it all wrong and did the wrong thing. I worry that I am a horrible person and a huge *****.)

It's not until much later, when my mind is not so clouded by anxiety, that I can think and start to feel angry and completely powerless.

I have never been able to talk about things right away (I have to be able to process stuff first), and only to certain people. I usually talk to my sister or my dad. Usually by the time I get stuff out of my system, it is so much after the fact that it is pointless or too late to do anything about the problem.
Man you hit the nail right on the head, thats me too, passive and to late after the fact. When I process wether I was wrong are not it's to late the damage has already been done.
 

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The problem I find is that when you do confront someone, it usually turns around and bites you in the rear end by making you look like the fool.

For example, you say something angrily to the woman who butted in front of you, and she backs up and politely says 'oh I'm so very sorry, I didn't know you were in line. Please, by all means, go ahead. :)"
And then it makes you look like a mean a*sshole.
 

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I bottle it all inside. I just feel numb when stuff like that happens, that maybe I did something wrong or offended the person somehow. Someone says something completely hurtful and I just freeze up and feel detached and confused, and think, "Who me?! What did I do?" It's hard to think that maybe people can just be pushy and intentionally cruel. (If, by some miracle, I do manage to say something, I will feel guilty and horrible and worry that I got it all wrong and did the wrong thing. I worry that I am a horrible person and a huge *****.)

It's not until much later, when my mind is not so clouded by anxiety, that I can think and start to feel angry and completely powerless.

I have never been able to talk about things right away (I have to be able to process stuff first), and only to certain people. I usually talk to my sister or my dad. Usually by the time I get stuff out of my system, it is so much after the fact that it is pointless or too late to do anything about the problem.
i feel and am exactly like you..whenever people say something hurtful i also kinda ask myself why are they saying this to me...im kind always to people..and later on i feel bad that i could nt say anything to that person and showed him my anger..
 

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I have always been bottling stuff up also, but it gets to me when I do now. I'm at a point in life that it just doesn't matter to me if I do get my head pounded in, I'm going to say something. I don't mean like the guy and his dog, but someone who does something to insult me, that is when my hackles get up and the tension builds to a point of near panic attack.
The problem is that the fear and anxiety make me fumble with my attempts to confront, I get angry and curse and that only makes things worse. I'm sure that it comes across as fear, but that is better than bottling stuff up and it may get easier each time.
I don't believe in fighting, it has never solved anything other than to decide who is tougher; in the long run the crap still smells like crap. It is funny how the ***h*** always want to fight it out instead of stand up and talk through the misunderstanding or whatever. The one who can overcome the hype of I'm the tough guy is the better person.
exactly i feel so..there were guys in my school who would always try to kinda fuel me up so that i would go and confront them and get into fight..but i never did..cause i never believed in fights..
 

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nope.. i say something firmly. And usually if the person decides they want act a fool, i will stand my ground.

I was in the "cardio theatre" last night.. (it's a part of the gym where you can actually watch a full screen movie in the dark while on cardio equipment.

there are only 2 treadmills, but the rest is elliptical trainers, etc. I walk in to get on the treadmill while using my cell phone as a flash light. there's this couple "standing" on the treadmills, just talking. The treadmills are off, and their just talking.

I said something. And of course the female is the first one to act out. She looks at me and says, "I'll be off in a sec." then turns back to her boyfriend, and resumes their conversation. That's kind of surprising. Most people just get off of the equipment.

I waited.. they're still talking, so i said, "Okay, why not finish your conversation elsewhere?"

She gets her boyfriend in on it..(of course), by rolling her eyes and looking at him..

Both of them being pretty overweight, are about 2x my size, glared down at me. "We're just finishing up."

i answered: "I'm just starting, so you can finish up elsewhere, not on the equipment."

they got off of the treadmills, he made some parting shot, i ignored him, kept it moving.

Life's too short to worry about the outcome of standing up for yourself in an assertive manner.
 

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That sucks. My problem is that I'm too confrontational when someone buds in front of me in a line. I think the social norm is to not be confrontational. If everyone was confrontational there would be a lot of fighting in the world. I think it's better not to be confrontational because in situations like those you really don't know the kind of person you are dealing with. You could have a knife pulled on you and get shanked. It happens a lot in major cities heh.
 

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Why not try it a couple times. It will get easier and you will have less anxiety each time. Alot of people do not respect me because I am not assertive. When I have started to speak up people do respect me alot more.
 

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That sucks. My problem is that I'm too confrontational when someone buds in front of me in a line. I think the social norm is to not be confrontational. If everyone was confrontational there would be a lot of fighting in the world. I think it's better not to be confrontational because in situations like those you really don't know the kind of person you are dealing with. You could have a knife pulled on you and get shanked. It happens a lot in major cities heh.
i understand where you're coming from. Lots of people might be carrying weapons. I know.. my job is traveling all over the country. before that? i traveled world wide (ex-military) and worked in some very nasty places. I guess, i don't care about what another human being "can do". I used to when i was a kid, but things happen in your life to the point where you just don't care. and being able to defend yourself well, is a huge help.

I'm pretty good at choosing my battles, and taking chances. if i lose, i lose, if i win, that's okay, too..:yes
 

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unfortunately...

i was told by a good friend of mine, who is a psychiatrist, that people are "expected" to be non-confrontational. When you stand up for yourself, most of the time, it's a surprise to the antagonist.:0
 

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That sucks. My problem is that I'm too confrontational when someone buds in front of me in a line. I think the social norm is to not be confrontational. If everyone was confrontational there would be a lot of fighting in the world. I think it's better not to be confrontational because in situations like those you really don't know the kind of person you are dealing with. You could have a knife pulled on you and get shanked. It happens a lot in major cities heh.
haha i am too! i really dont care who you are - if you try to push in we have issues! its just such a stupid injustice that i just think "really? you couldnt just wait like evryone else? is my time not as important yours? " dickheads...
 

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i understand where you're coming from. Lots of people might be carrying weapons. I know.. my job is traveling all over the country. before that? i traveled world wide (ex-military) and worked in some very nasty places. I guess, i don't care about what another human being "can do". I used to when i was a kid, but things happen in your life to the point where you just don't care. and being able to defend yourself well, is a huge help.

I'm pretty good at choosing my battles, and taking chances. if i lose, i lose, if i win, that's okay, too..:yes
It reminds me of this:

Basically, lady gets in front of him in line. Guy makes a snide comment, lady gets pissed off and starts ****. Her 300lbs boyfriend comes in and beats the guy to a pulp.

He did of course go to jail, but it's horrible to watch.
 
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