[contranigma]

Currently, I am pretty happy. This past school year and the ones before, I've had bouts of depression and suicidal thoughts, but I'm optimistic about the future. Luckily, I do not hate myself. I believe I'm intelligent and will probably get a decent job, though I worry somewhat about getting stuck with a job I don't like. Since a job takes up a large chunk of the day, doing something I didn't like could send me into a depression. I think that the biggest reason why I don't do much now is that I don't have money. I look forward to having a real job, so that I can afford hobbies, and then I think I will take up some hobbies like skiing and rock climbing by myself. I am one of those people that actually does enjoy solitude. Some friends are always good, but I'm most comfortable by myself. There is probably some danger element to this, since I want to take up some dangerous hobbies, but do them alone. I don't want to pull an aron ralston and have to cut off my hand (or any other emergency brought about by being alone)...time will tell.