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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi guys,

Yesterday I called a girl that I 'like'. A couple of weeks ago I mustered up the courage to ask for her phone number. I have never done that before in my life. I asked her out of the room, made some quick small talk then told her that I thought she was pretty and wondered if I could have her number so that I could call her sometime. She said "of course" I can have her number.

I felt good after that. I called her the following saturday but her phone was off, so I left a text message. She didn't reply to that so I assumed she was interested in me and just gave me her phone number to avoid hurting my feelings. I should note that although we are in the same college class, we aren't exactly friends. I have only spoke to her a couple times out of the whole year. When I did speak to her I was shaking like a leaf because of my anxiety and felt very stupid afterwards so I just avoided even looking in her direction.

When I saw her the following week after not responding to my text, I didn't say anything to her as I felt kind of embarrassed. I felt like a loser. I asked a friends advice, and he told me that I didn't play the game right. He let me know that I was supposed to befriend her first before rushing in like that and asking for her number. I have never tried to get with a girl before so this was all new to me.

A week later and a friend told me to call her. I told him that she is not interested in me so what would be the point? He rebuttled that until she tells me that she is not interested, I still have a chance. I just didn't want to come off as a desperate loser phoning a girl that can't even be bothered to return my texts or speak to me in real life.

I thought 'what the hell'? Class is almost over, I may as well see if she is truly interested. I called, and as the phone rang my heart began pumping. She picked up and I told her who it was. She seemed a little suprised. Maybe she deleted my number already. I made general chat, asking how she was, what she was up to etc. I couldn't get her to talk much, and yes there were awkward silences in the conversation. I just hoped I didn't sound as stupid as I felt. She kept making nervous laughs, and since she was out shopping I assumed she was laughing to her friends about this loser guy calling her up and boring her to death.

After that phone call I went for a walk. I felt inefficiant as a man because I wasn't able to make an interesting conversation with a girl. I felt silly for calling her. I came back to sit next to my friend and sagged in my seat feeling mentally exhausted. He asked why I was acting weird. I told him what happened and he said "so, at least you called her, and she picked up". He was puzzled why I was acting so awkward and commanded me to sit up straight. I listened and realized that he was right. So what if I bored a girl to death on the phone? Who cares? Does her negative(I assume) opinion of me really matter? I don't know what she is thinking. I don't know if she was with friends laughing at my expense. That is just my mind spinning negative tales.

I feel fine about it and am proud that I found the courage to call her again. I don't even care how she feels about the phone call. What is done is done. God this post is long. Sorry guys. :D
 

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Permanently Blessed
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Wow

I might as well having been reading a post of my own here. Everything that you described in your post I have experienced a few times. The anticpation, the heart pounding after you dial, the feeling that you have just plunged off a cliff I have felt that as well.

A few times in college I have asked women I was interested in for a number and they have given it to me without hesitation. This obviously sent me through the roof with ecstasy. But in hindisight, I have determined that just because a woman gives you their number doesn't mean they are interested back. I think they take it the same as a facebook friend request.

But you are right. Regardless of this women's feelings, you overcame you fear and gave it a shot. That is what counts.
 

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Fitting In Here & There
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Hi, I'm sure you didn't "bore her to death." It sounds like you did perfectly fine. I'm happy for you taking the chance.

And that nervous laugh thing--I'm a female who has always had a habit of doing that, & I can tell you, chances are very good that she's not laughing AT you. Maybe she was nervous too, you know? Try hard not to take it as something personally against you.

If you really want to know what she's laughing about, you could ask her...you might find out that she thinks you are funny--in a good way, as in having a sense of humor.
 

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Nice. If I were you I would just wait and see if she flirts back with you. No point in trying to read much into that phone call. It's her turn to show interest back or not though. If you pressure her too much she might not have time to think about it and she might panic.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks for the positive feedback guys. I am not sure what to do. I will call her again on the weekend, but do you think it is a wise move to ask her out? Like Lincoln said, getting a girls number does not mean that she is interested in you. Its what you do with it I suppose. I think I'll just bite the bullet and ask her out. There is no point hanging on the phone for a girl that doesn't have time for you.

Yes I will admit that I fear rejection and the humiliation that comes with it, but I'm sure she is not gonna ask me out anytime soon. And this may help conquer my fear of speaking to girls and asking them out. Its just a learning curve. I'll use this experience for the next girl I run into.
 

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Maybe it's worth phoning her again but - as a way of taking the pressure off of you both a bit - just take things slow. Treat the call casually by chatting to her on a friendly basis so that you can get to know her a little better but without outright asking her out on a date - and just see how things pan out from there. :)
 

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I would try hanging out with her. Forget what your friend said about befriending her, your not trying to be her "friend". Find something that would be "fun" and invite her to tag along. If she goes for it.....great, if she gives you the "I'm busy" and doesn't try reciprocating a different time to chill, then bust her balls about it. For whatever reason "young" girls like getting there chops busted. Also I wouldn't tell a girl how pretty she was unless you are actively dating her. Guys do that to her all day long, why validate her ego and put her into a position of power over you. Be mysterious, she has to like you before she knows you like her.

One side note, start trying to talk to other girls regardless of how pretty they are.

I'm sure this post will get flamed by some people here, but "dating" is like war and far from politically correct.
 

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The Phoenix
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Congratz man. I may be making progress in other areas, but the realm of women is still an area where I have MAJOR anxiety issues. If nothing else at least you managed the courage to try!
 

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Yeah, I'd just use this experience as a learning experience and to know that you're capable of

a)asking a girl you find attractive for her number
b)texting her
c)Calling her

We all have to start somewhere and you did a pretty good job. I remember the first time I asked someone out.. I was so scared. It was way too awkward. Like.. way too awkward. Over the years I steadily got better at the process (read: more confident in myself) to where I didn't make a big deal out of things. Next time there's a cute girl in a class another option might be to ask her if she wants to get together and study for a test at a starbucks with a couple other people from the class. Get everyone's number and then it isn't a big deal when you text everyone the meeting info. :boogie
 

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blessed with lucky sevens
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I was called 'good looking' and 'pretty' by the gay guy who works at the bottleshop near my house lol.
It kinda freaked me out, im not against gays by any means but i dunno. Just knowing that one is checking me out just freaked me out.
 
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