[AriesTrying]

Rejection from someone you thought you clicked so perfectly with that it floored you - it made you spark alive in a way you thought was lost to you for good. They chose someone else (the date they went on after you) after having been very into you and knowing they wanted to see you again. It was only one night but it was one long honest night filled with reflection, passion, divulgences, curiosities, walking, and beautiful stories.

and now they tell you (repeatedly) that they sincerely want to be friends with you - you're a lot of fun and that you have a lot in common and they are very terribly sorry if they hurt you. And you almost believe the wanting to be friends part.

how do you get over it and realize there just might be someone else in this world that you will actually like just as much?

(i am aware of how dumb this sounds..but i never thought i could go on a date with a person and after one night have it be so beautiful and affect me so much. now its gone and i have to deal with it. it hurts a lot.)

 

[EagerMinnow84]

^ That is definitely not dumb. It is a feeling that everyone that ever went on a good date feels when the other person doesn't share the same feelings. It is really confusing, after a great (or even good) date filled with conversation, laughter, stories and you are feeling that there is a great connection between you two, until you find out the other person just isn't that into you. I think it takes time to get over it so you could see that there is someone else out there, but it is ridiculously difficult.

Not much advice but I do know exactly how you feel.

 

[Just Lurking]

how do you get over it and realize there just might be someone else in this world that you will actually like just as much?

Chalk it up to being his loss and cut off all contact and reminders. The feelings wear off with time as long as you don't dwell on it.

(i am aware of how dumb this sounds..but i never thought i could go on a date with a person and after one night have it be so beautiful and affect me so much. now its gone and i have to deal with it. it hurts a lot.)

It sounds like you're suffering from lust and infatuation (everyone does sometimes). They are powerful, but blinding and deceptive emotions. Don't allow them to fool you into thinking he was "perfect" or "the one" after a single date.

Draw on your experience here for when the next one comes along and you'll be less likely (even if only slightly) to let your emotions take control over you like that.

 

[odd_one_out]

Your post gives me the impression they misled you on the date about their intentions. Or is this what dating is supposed to be like now? It does seem unnecessarily harsh; kind of emotionally abusive.

 

[AriesTrying]

no. We met on a dating site and we agreed to go for a date - it went wonderfully and i sincerely know that both of up wanted to see each other again. the thing was, he went on another date the next night with someone who he apparently comepletely fell for. Had this other person not been in the picture there's no doubt in my mind we would have gone out again.

i don't feel that i was mislead at all actually - and he was very upfront with me about it as soon as it happened. I know it wasn't something i did, or didnt do. It's just that he liked me a lot, but liked the other person more. I guess that's, realistically, the name of the game.

 

[AliBaba]

no. We met on a dating site and we agreed to go for a date - it went wonderfully and i sincerely know that both of up wanted to see each other again. the thing was, he went on another date the next night with someone who he apparently comepletely fell for. Had this other person not been in the picture there's no doubt in my mind we would have gone out again.

i don't feel that i was mislead at all actually - and he was very upfront with me about it as soon as it happened. I know it wasn't something i did, or didnt do. It's just that he liked me a lot, but liked the other person more. I guess that's, realistically, the name of the game.

When you put it this way I think you're unlikely to experience this again anytime soon. Still, it's a rough situation. I think the cliche "there are plenty of fish in the sea" is the most comfort I can give. But there really are an abundance of single men/women out there so it's a cliche with plenty of merit.

 

[aviator99]

Totally know what you're feeling, been there felt that. Dont go for the friends thing, its a scheme in that if his first choice doesn't work out, he has a backup in you (your not #1 in his eyes).

As 'Just Lurking' said, the only way is to cut off contact completely. Dont talk/speak/look at this person at all, otherwise your emotions will still be there and it will really depress you to know you have all these feelings but he's unattainable. Especially dont look at his myspace/facebook if he has one, all you'll read about is the 'blast hes having with this incredible girl'.

Its hard to just completely avoid looking at someones myspace and/or facebook after being so-so into them. The first few weeks will be rough with him still on your mind and you wondering what could have been, but like I said, if you dont talk, contact, email, chat, look at his facebook/myspace whatever, slowly you'll start to feel better and the emotions simmering down.

As hard as it is and you dont want to drift away, just trust in hope that there is another guy on the way.

Too bad theres no way to predict the future ehh? Life would be soooooo much easier.