[sharkcookie]

so i have selective mutism, general anxiety, & major depression. ive found that i have a loooot of bpd symptoms and brought it up with my therapist. she said she’s 100% sure i do not, although she believes there’s a chance i may have bipolar. i went to see a psychiatrist for meds a month ago and had to be evaluated first. the therapist that did the evaluation said i for sure have bpd (she specializes in it).

:here’s some of the stuff i deal with:
most of the time i feel numb and empty now, but with little triggers (being left home alone in certain situations- but not all the time, minor arguments with people, etc.) it feels like a flip switches in me and i turn to self hate. i will self harm, sob, and feel extremely depressed. sometimes after those episodes, i can either spend the rest of the day feeling super depressed or other times i will bounce back like nothing happened.

other times (particularly evenings) i will get mild euphoria (?) where i feel so motivated and i don’t want to sleep and i just feel so good. once again sometimes after a couple hours of this- or even less than an hour, i can end up being down and depressed again.

sometimes my moods don’t drastically change for a couple months, then all of a sudden it hits me.

i’ve been dealing with this since 12. i’m just wondering if anyone has input on whether this does sound like bpd or just effects from depression/anxiety?

oh and also, i just feel like i crave attention. idk if it’s from lack of socializing or just a sign of bpd. i also have an eating disorder, and sometimes i’m quite reckless with spending. like tonight i just want to hit up ebay lol

 

[CNikki]

I cannot say as to whether or not it is bipolar, but I do know that there are three types of state that one can be in - mania, depressed, and mixed episodes. Did she say specifically what type you may have (bipolar I or II)? It also depends on how long the episodes last since they usually can last for days at minimum.

 

[EnvyIsPolitical]

I have bpd (and I'm properly diagnosed btw also everything is from my experience and I don't know how much bpd patients will allign in how our symptoms appear so this is just like a broad overview of how I got it figured out) and I don't know about the severity of the symptoms you think correlate with you having bpd or even how many of the symptoms you think you might have but I can try to give you some tips cause for awhile I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder so here I go. How do your mood swings happen, so a big difference between bpd and bipolar is how often they happen, with bpd they will happen in the same day but the mood swings won't last for weeks like with bipolar at most they will last a day though for me they usually last a few hours and sometimes I can cycle pretty quickly from emotion to emotion. You said you experienced euphoria which I did too do you ever go from being extremely depressed to euphoric in the same day or go from numb to euphoric like a drastic mood change like that might definitely signal the possibility of you having bpd. Do you dissociate and or get paranoid for seemingly no reason? I know for me at least I dissociate a lot and would think my friends hated me or were doing something for no reason but I don't know if this is for everyone with bpd but after it was over I was fully capable of realising how mistaken I was which looking at my father as another example might be the case, usually the paranoia lasts for a short period of time and then you're fine at least for me and then you feel normal and like them again. Do you not understand who you are or does your personality change often, I find it difficult a lot of the time to answer questions directed towards myself because a lot of the times I don't know what I dislike or like etc and what I'm just putting on a mask for. I often feel extremely empty and that might be something you wanna look out for I'll feel like there's a void inside of me and it'll often make me wanna engage in risky behaviour to fix it which never works out. I hope this helps getting misdiagnosed and living with bpd sucks when you figure out you have it and you know all of your symptoms though keep in mind medication for bpd might not fix everything since a lot of it is just your brain messing with you though if you get put on meds to control your mood swings it'll be a lot better. I hope you get diagnosed properly and don't have to go on a whole bunch of meds that aren't right for you cause for me at least I had very bad reactions to meds that didn't work which really sucked but I can tell you one thing from talking to people with bipolar disorder and others with bpd also from my own experience. Once your mood stabilizes it'll be a lot easier the mood swings are like climbing wind knocking you down a mountain once the wind dies down it's a lot easier to fix the other issues. I hope you get better and I hope this helps I kinda tried cause I know how bad stuff like that can be just keep in mind I'm no mental health professional though I'd like to think because of my experience with this disorder I understand a bit better than most and again I hope this helped. I hope you have a great day.

 

[indignant misanthrope]

I hope you get it figured out. it seems as though there is a lot of people with bpd on places that talk about experiencing social anxiety, there appears to be a common link. less so perhaps with bipolar? which surprised me if true because from my very basic understanding with bipolar a person often experiences a lot of anxiety and depression in the early stages of the disorder.

 

[DeathBecomesHer1]

I'm diagnosed with both BPD and bipolar one and they are hard to differentiate and get confusing sometimes I feel like but would you describe to me anyways sounds like signs of bipolar very much so but I'm no doctor I have a lot of symptoms that overlap and each doctor is different so I would go to a third person maybe a private psychologist and get tested or go to a state facility where they do testing for like disability to see officially what they would diagnose you with I don't know what type of therapist you see or what kind of clinic you go to such as religious based clinics I feel sometimes or bias and their diagnosis I don't know that's just my opinion and what I've learned from my experiences I hope you figure things out and sometimes it just doesn't matter putting a label on it for now you know you don't feel okay or feel right try to do things that feel good to you anything that feels good to you that's not destructive that's what I try to do hoping skills I roll my eyes at this because that's always the answer from everybody is do a coping skill and sometimes none of those ****ing work but I try to desperately find something that I get some kind of enjoyment out of no matter if it's a nap painting seeing a certain person talking to a certain person cleaning watching my favorite movie even if it's for a short amount of time just a few minutes of being okay is better than nothing just try to keep it a healthy coping skill and not something that's going to be damaging to you hit me up if you want to chat