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Boyfriend's Past

320 Views 15 Replies 11 Participants Last post by  LoneLioness

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I think you should give the guy a chance. Do you have any reason to think that he's cheating on you, or doing drugs or drinking behind your back? If not, then try to look forwards, not back.
What's the other choice? That he lie to you and provide a number that is much lower and thus more acceptable?

Do you prefer a truth you don't like or a lie that sounds good, but is still a lie, such as if he'd taken off a digit and made it 3 other girls?
What are your specific concerns?
That he'll revert to his previous behavior?
That he has some disease?
I don't think you'd be out of line to ask him to be tested for certain things, like HIV and Hep-C.
You might think it's too late to worry about it, a case of locking the barn door after the horse has already escaped, but it's not: often, people only contract these sorts of blood-borne viruses after repeated, long-term exposure to an infected person.
If his past is as you describe, I think you're within your rights to ask him to be tested for these things.
I am kind of concerned that you told your family about his past so soon. I would think that would not come up unless he wanted it to be brought up. It isn't anybody's business but yours and his at the moment. Ultimately, the relationship is your decision, not your family's. While it is nice that you want them to like him, that may not be 100% possible. :stu
Sounds like you should give him a chance. If he is improving, and he's been honest with you, and the relationship is otherwise fine, I don't see the problem.

Best of luck.
Everyone has a past and done things that they want to leave there, me especially and I'm glad that my OH gave me the chance to prove that I'm changed. Maybe you should give him a chance to prove himself.

But I have been with him for six months and I feel like if I really didn't want to be with him I would know it.
if it feels right, then it probably is.
Drinking, drugs, and sex... I thought almost all normal non-SA people are into that.:stu
He's on a dating site and giving girls his number? Cheating B*****d! Sorry, littlesongbird. Well done for chucking him immediately. Get well soon.
Yes, you're right. He told you he would not date anyone else, yet he was active on a dating site. He broke the promise he made to you, so he's not to be trusted. If you take him back, he'll almost certainly cheat.
You were right to dump him. People can change but its very very rare (I'd say almost non existant) for someone to. A past like that is a huge red flag, so it doesn't surprise me he was looking for someone else.
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