My father has BPD. He didn't have the least bit of interest in treatment.
He was moody (rapid swings), horribly violent, irritable, withdrawn, impulsive (particularly with sex), and in my opinion psychotic. He had a great deal of delusions about others motivations, he was truly paranoid.
He passed a lighter variation onto me, I believe. But because I'm so proactive with reflection and treatment it hasn't progressed all that far.
I think this may run in families... but that could be a Nurture and not Nature issue.
I'm sorry, I sort of focused one part of the post.
In regards to the OP, first, I'm very sorry for your loss.
I don't know what she was personally going through.
My symptoms are: Panic attacks, Eating Disorders (history), Substance abuse problems, Histrionic disposition.
I need attention (which may fall under CoDependent more so sometimes) or I become depressed. I have had suicidal thoughts and it typically revolves around romantic relationship issues (think my relationship with daddy has something to do with that??)
My wife had borderline personality disorder. She committed suicide about 9 months ago. She was 34 years old. It leaves behind an unimaginable pain, and also a lot of confusion. I am not sure that someone who never experienced it can relate to what they go through. It still doesn't make any sense to me, and it all seems like a bad dream. She had substance issues, which GREATLY magnified the symptoms of BPD. Although she had made 10 or so previous attempts, I never thought it would actually happen. The statistics are that 1 in 10 people with BPD will complete a suicide.
I am so sorry for your loss. Everyone says that, and I am sure you are tired of hearing it, but I really am. You have been left with a huge blow to your life. If you have a support group for survivors of suicide that you can attend, I highly recommend it.
I am pretty familiar with BPD. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.
Stay strong. Time won't heal the pain, but it will SLOWLY lessen it.