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I'm watching Oprah and it's talking about people who think they're ugly but they're really not. It's called Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). I think I have this somewhat. I'm constantly looking in the mirror and sometimes I won't go outside with my friends because I don't like the way I look. I think this came before my SAS. The fear of people judging me on how I look made me afraid of people. Does anyone else think they have this?
 

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I just saw this! I think I can have tendencies towards this... I'm pretty self critical. I don't know if I would call it BDD though. My heart went out for that guy, Jesse! He really was attractive! So was the other woman who was suffering from it. I hope they can get help.
 

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She-Wolf
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I saw that too.
I am extremely self-critical, I probably actually don't but I feel like I really need to loose weight. And I hate my face so much. I avoid going near people and I avoid meeting new people (partly) because of that.
 

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I saw that, too. I do see myself as the ugliest person of all time. I don't even bother trying to speak to people, because I don't think anyone would want to associate with an ugly freak such as myself. I don't think I have the disorder, because I'm just being realistic. I do look in the mirror constantly to see how ugly I look at that moment. That's my thought when I go into a bathroom. I think to myself, "Let me see how ugly I look now."
I take at least 20 pictures of myself a week with my digital camera just to look at and delete them. Usually a lot more than that: my camera only holds 19 pics at a time and I fill it up and clear it out several times until I stop. I've only had a camera for a few months, so this is recent. I keep wondering if I could ever be attractive, that's maybe why I keep looking. I save some of them in different folders organized by hair color/style so I can come back to judge myself. I pick my face constantly, and look in a mirror a lot. Not out of vanity, I don't really know why. I've only started doing this within the last year or so.
In film class, the teacher put the camera on the class and I cringed, I couldn't even look at the monitor. I felt so on display, like everyone was looking at me. Everytime someone speaks around me, I feel like they're talking about how ugly I am or how gross my hair/clothes look. In high school I never looked in a mirror; I was so overwhelmingly ashamed of myself that I couldn't bare to look. Now I even look at myself in the reflection on the back of my cell phone between classes. This didn't really start until about the past year, so I think it's just low self esteem..
 

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Spectacular Member
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I always feel ugly and hideous even when others seem to tell me otherwise.
 

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She-Wolf
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Drella's_Rock_Follies said:
I take at least 20 pictures of myself a week with my digital camera just to look at and delete them. Usually a lot more than that: my camera only holds 19 pics at a time and I fill it up and clear it out several times until I stop. I've only had a camera for a few months, so this is recent. I keep wondering if I could ever be attractive, that's maybe why I keep looking. I save some of them in different folders organized by hair color/style so I can come back to judge myself. I pick my face constantly, and look in a mirror a lot. Not out of vanity, I don't really know why. I've only started doing this within the last year or so.
In film class, the teacher put the camera on the class and I cringed, I couldn't even look at the monitor. I felt so on display, like everyone was looking at me. Everytime someone speaks around me, I feel like they're talking about how ugly I am or how gross my hair/clothes look. In high school I never looked in a mirror; I was so overwhelmingly ashamed of myself that I couldn't bare to look. Now I even look at myself in the reflection on the back of my cell phone between classes. This didn't really start until about the past year, so I think it's just low self esteem..
I can relate to everything you just wrote...
I do the exact same thing (taking pictures of myself). I think I do it because I want to see if I can look at least semi-decent. I always end up really depressed though because I failed to look semi-attractive. I also check mirrors all the time (during class I take out my calculator and look at my reflection on the screen).
 

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adrift_atpeace said:
I can relate to everything you just wrote...
I do the exact same thing (taking pictures of myself). I think I do it because I want to see if I can look at least semi-decent. I always end up really depressed though because I failed to look semi-attractive. I also check mirrors all the time (during class I take out my calculator and look at my reflection on the screen).
So do I. I don't know why I do the picture taking, I was just speculating on a reason, because it's very irrational to me. I don't like looking at pictures of myself and I never have, but I feel an obsessive need to do this :con
 

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Waiting on Jason
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I saw the show too. I felt so sad. No one should have to feel like that. Sometimes I feel invisible. For some reason I think people can't stand to be around me, that there's something wrong with me that only they can see and I don't know what I did. It's hard trying to fight the illusion of what's only in your head, it's like there's two people up in there--one making sense and the other not and you're all confused.
 

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michael douglas said:
I have read about this, its very unlikely you have this - do you know people with this hate how they look so much that they go to extremes like amputating parts of their body or hacking away at the part of their body they think looks so terrible.
Funny, I look upon "amputating body parts" on myself as a means to self-improvement (as close as I can get, anyway). But I guess normal people call it something perverse. But nature does make mistakes, more often than not. And mistakes need to be corrected.

But I'm certainly familiar with body dysmorphic disorder. I more than likely suffer from it. But it doesn't always come from some paranoid delusions that emanate from your own mind. More often, the disorder begins because of outside influences that negatively influence your self-perception.
 

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Drella's_Rock_Follies said:
I saw that, too. I do see myself as the ugliest person of all time. I don't even bother trying to speak to people, because I don't think anyone would want to associate with an ugly freak such as myself. I don't think I have the disorder, because I'm just being realistic. I do look in the mirror constantly to see how ugly I look at that moment. That's my thought when I go into a bathroom. I think to myself, "Let me see how ugly I look now."
I take at least 20 pictures of myself a week with my digital camera just to look at and delete them. Usually a lot more than that: my camera only holds 19 pics at a time and I fill it up and clear it out several times until I stop. I've only had a camera for a few months, so this is recent. I keep wondering if I could ever be attractive, that's maybe why I keep looking. I save some of them in different folders organized by hair color/style so I can come back to judge myself. I pick my face constantly, and look in a mirror a lot. Not out of vanity, I don't really know why. I've only started doing this within the last year or so.
In film class, the teacher put the camera on the class and I cringed, I couldn't even look at the monitor. I felt so on display, like everyone was looking at me. Everytime someone speaks around me, I feel like they're talking about how ugly I am or how gross my hair/clothes look. In high school I never looked in a mirror; I was so overwhelmingly ashamed of myself that I couldn't bare to look. Now I even look at myself in the reflection on the back of my cell phone between classes. This didn't really start until about the past year, so I think it's just low self esteem..
I'd like to see a picture of you. I bet you're not ugly.
 

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I was diagnosed with this but i blew it off. The thing is, I AM ugly. I've been called it and well I just REALLY am. I think the psychiatrist was thrown off by how blatant I was describing myself and a bit overzealous with her diagnosis.

but..

I am extremely self conscious when it comes to how I look and my anxiety gets worse when I'm out and about if I think I look bad. I look in the mirror a lot also.
 

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Drella's_Rock_Follies said:
I saw that, too. I do see myself as the ugliest person of all time. I don't even bother trying to speak to people, because I don't think anyone would want to associate with an ugly freak such as myself. I don't think I have the disorder, because I'm just being realistic. I do look in the mirror constantly to see how ugly I look at that moment. That's my thought when I go into a bathroom. I think to myself, "Let me see how ugly I look now."
I take at least 20 pictures of myself a week with my digital camera just to look at and delete them. Usually a lot more than that: my camera only holds 19 pics at a time and I fill it up and clear it out several times until I stop. I've only had a camera for a few months, so this is recent. I keep wondering if I could ever be attractive, that's maybe why I keep looking. I save some of them in different folders organized by hair color/style so I can come back to judge myself. I pick my face constantly, and look in a mirror a lot. Not out of vanity, I don't really know why. I've only started doing this within the last year or so.
.
I do this too. I took a ton of pictures of myself so I can see myself objectively and taped them behind my door to remind myself how ugly I am and that I need to work to pay for the cosmetic surgery I want.
 

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She-Wolf
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i think BDD is huge factor behind my SA...and some of my depression. lately it has gotten so bad to the point where it is hell leaving the house... when i can drag myself to go to work after the whole day i feel like **** (and i probably won't go in tomorrow). i see a psychiatrist and therapist for depression (bipolar disorder) but i can't bring myself to tell them a big reason for my past/current suicidal acts/ideation is because i think i am the most unattractive person ever and there is absolutely no point in living because of that.
i was hospitalized for most of spring and i couldn't bring myself to tell anyone that was a big reason for me wanting to kill myself. it's far too embarrassing... i know they will either agree with me and/or they would just notice my ugliness even more.

anyone else in the same boat? :(

though, last therapy session i managed to tell my therapist i think i look very fat, and i am incredibly self-consious :)afr ..bikini season coming up). she told me i have a great figure and that i am thin but i can't see that at all. :( i know i fit in small sizes and my weight has never been even close to overweight but i can't see it at all and i still look very fat, larger than most people my age and who are heavier and bigger sizes. i don't know what's wrong with me...

i really just want OUT of this body so badly. :(
 

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nothing_to_fear said:
[quote="Drella's_Rock_Follies":7ab8e] I take at least 20 pictures of myself a week with my digital camera just to look at and delete them. Usually a lot more than that: my camera only holds 19 pics at a time and I fill it up and clear it out several times until I stop. I've only had a camera for a few months, so this is recent. I keep wondering if I could ever be attractive, that's maybe why I keep looking. I save some of them in different folders organized by hair color/style so I can come back to judge myself. I pick my face constantly, and look in a mirror a lot. Not out of vanity, I don't really know why. I've only started doing this within the last year or so.
In film class, the teacher put the camera on the class and I cringed, I couldn't even look at the monitor. I felt so on display, like everyone was looking at me. Everytime someone speaks around me, I feel like they're talking about how ugly I am or how gross my hair/clothes look. In high school I never looked in a mirror; I was so overwhelmingly ashamed of myself that I couldn't bare to look. Now I even look at myself in the reflection on the back of my cell phone between classes. This didn't really start until about the past year, so I think it's just low self esteem..
I can relate to everything you just wrote...
I do the exact same thing (taking pictures of myself). I think I do it because I want to see if I can look at least semi-decent. I always end up really depressed though because I failed to look semi-attractive. I also check mirrors all the time (during class I take out my calculator and look at my reflection on the screen).[/quote:7ab8e]

:ditto
 

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That's why I could never be a camera *****, I'm disappointed most of the time. It's just a sure-fire way of feeling like sh*t.
...and I don't even think I'm ugly, it's just that pictures don't accurately capture the way I look.
 
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