[AllTheSame]

What you say there is actually true. You do feel more confident when you're manic. You can get into relationships or just have a lot of sex etc because the anxiety is a lot less. But things like that can get out of control very easily - you can get involved with people that you normally wouldn't if you weren't manic - plus do a lot of other things that can get you into big trouble.

I don't really feel comfortable talking about some of those things on this forum - but you should know that it's not always as pleasant as you might think it is now.

I agree with this, totally. Also, people tend to experience bipolar a little differently sometimes but I'm diagnosed as bipolar II. I really find it hard to put into words how low my lows can get, when I'm off my meds. And it can last for days, weeks. It's anything but cool, or fun for me, I'm completely miserable.

 

[hmnut]

I am not bipolar, but I have enough relationships with friends and family who are bipolar to say 'it is not fun' at least from the outside looking in.

Manic stage is (from the outside at least) is like a drug high. They are as happy as a pig in slop during the manic stage, but they can be uncontrollable, and irrational.

And depression... is well depression.

And the worst part of dealing with a bipolar person is they (in my experience) do not like to take their medication while it takes away the depression which they are fine with but it also takes away the manic stage. They feel it keeps them from being happy, so many MANY bipolar people don't want to take their meds... so some don't.

It's like living with a drug addict where the drug is their own mind. And they suffer from a lot of the same problems drug addicts face, up to and including actual illegal drug use and homelessness.

It is not cool, it is not fun, it is a serious mental illness and we to be sympathetic and supportive to people who suffer from it.

 

[harrison]

I am not bipolar, but I have enough relationships with friends and family who are bipolar to say 'it is not fun' at least from the outside looking in.

Manic stage is (from the outside at least) is like a drug high. They are as happy as a pig in slop during the manic stage, but they can be uncontrollable, and irrational.

And depression... is well depression.

And the worst part of dealing with a bipolar person is they (in my experience) do not like to take their medication while it takes away the depression which they are fine with but it also takes away the manic stage. They feel it keeps them from being happy, so many MANY bipolar people don't want to take their meds... so some don't.

It's like living with a drug addict where the drug is their own mind. And they suffer from a lot of the same problems drug addicts face, up to and including actual illegal drug use and homelessness.

It is not cool, it is not fun, it is a serious mental illness and we to be sympathetic and supportive to people who suffer from it.

It's funny you say that because I was just trying to describe it to my son the other night - and I said it was a bit like a drug experience.

For the last few weeks I've been manic. It's changed - and now it feels like a band is around my head and all my senses are going crazy. At first it's nice but not for long. It's a terrible feeling and I wanted to go to hospital. I take my pills but they make me feel sick and I don't think they're actually reigning it in properly. It's a scary thing to experience.

It is like a drug experience only not a nice one.

 

[harrison]

I agree with this, totally. Also, people tend to experience bipolar a little differently sometimes but I'm diagnosed as bipolar II. I really find it hard to put into words how low my lows can get, when I'm off my meds. And it can last for days, weeks. It's anything but cool, or fun for me, I'm completely miserable.

See with me I seem to get manic more often than depressed - which apparently is unusual. And it's getting worse as I get older. My shrink said that's not uncommon - which is also scary. If this is happening to me now what will happen in ten years time?

Sorry to hear about your depression mate. I do actually think it's a bit easier being this way - having all the mania - even with how revolting it feels, at least I don't get so down like that.

I also admire your openness on here. I delete posts or just don't talk about a lot of things. I'll try to keep this here though.

 

[SwtSurrender]

What you say there is actually true. You do feel more confident when you're manic. You can get into relationships or just have a lot of sex etc because the anxiety is a lot less. But things like that can get out of control very easily - you can get involved with people that you normally wouldn't if you weren't manic - plus do a lot of other things that can get you into big trouble.

I don't really feel comfortable talking about some of those things on this forum - but you should know that it's not always as pleasant as you might think it is now.

You can't diagnose yourself - but I would also say you probably have a good idea of what's happening to you. I've often wondered about you too - from your posts before.

Are you seeing a psychiatrist and have you talked about all this with him?

No, man, dude, the way I feel now off the prozac is I get depressed sometimes and other times I get manic. When I was on the prozac I was always feeling manic.

I did talk about the mania I was feeling with my first psychiatrist and he gave me Abilify. So, if he accepted my proposal and just gave me Abilify then it means I am diagnosed bipolar already. The last psychiatrist I was seeing, a different one, couldn't care less about me and I didn't even mention my manic episodes anyway.

 

[SwtSurrender]

I am not bipolar, but I have enough relationships with friends and family who are bipolar to say 'it is not fun' at least from the outside looking in.

Manic stage is (from the outside at least) is like a drug high. They are as happy as a pig in slop during the manic stage, but they can be uncontrollable, and irrational.

And depression... is well depression.

And the worst part of dealing with a bipolar person is they (in my experience) do not like to take their medication while it takes away the depression which they are fine with but it also takes away the manic stage. They feel it keeps them from being happy, so many MANY bipolar people don't want to take their meds... so some don't.

It's like living with a drug addict where the drug is their own mind. And they suffer from a lot of the same problems drug addicts face, up to and including actual illegal drug use and homelessness.

It is not cool, it is not fun, it is a serious mental illness and we to be sympathetic and supportive to people who suffer from it.

Yeah, I feel like very high bro. Maybe I just got too low and my mind wanted to live again and then I got high, pretty soon I am going to go low again cuz it's too much energy my poor brain can't take. So long bro, damn feels good to be high without taking anything.

 

[Mr A]

I thought this thread was a joke like "lol I'm so bipolar", but now I see you're serious about it. That's alright though, I guess it is kinda cool.

 

[Charmander]

I've never really thought of myself as bipolar and I'm definitely not gonna self-diagnose, but I can have pretty drastic mood swings. Like an ultra depressed state and then just back to normality, though it's usually triggered by something and doesn't happen all the time. I don't really go through energetic stages. I probably have a lot of things that are undiagnosed so I'm not gonna dwell on it too much. :b

Your phrasing might be a bit much but I guess you mean that you feel it's worth it for the periods of mania. In my case though I still dislike feeling (somewhat) like that because I know my mindset will change again at some point.

 

[cosmicslop]

Mania comes with its unstable behavior brought upon by that elevated mood. The confidence/less anxiety one may have during this state has no real advantages when it all spirals down to me being obsessed with stupid projects, thoughts going all over the place at night leading to less sleep, becoming irritable and destructive with people. Feeling "good" shouldn't have an negative effect like that.

Then you're back in another depressive episode once you wind down. In my own experience the depressive episodes are much longer than the mania too.

Bipolar still debilitates you similarly in the way that an anxiety disorder makes you feel like you're unable to control what you feel and think.

 

[harrison]

Mania comes with its unstable behavior brought upon by that elevated mood. The confidence/less anxiety one may have during this state has no real advantages when it all spirals down to me being obsessed with stupid projects, thoughts going all over the place at night leading to less sleep, becoming irritable and destructive with people. Feeling "good" shouldn't have an negative effect like that.

Then you're back in another depressive episode once you wind down. In my own experience the depressive episodes are much longer than the mania too.

Bipolar still debilitates you similarly in the way that an anxiety disorder makes you feel like you're unable to control what you feel and think.

That's a good point.

It's interesting there are a few other people that are bipolar on here, wish I could talk to you all some time.

 

[Furiosa]

Someone close to me has bipolar disorder, I've witnessed it's effects first hand and it's a horrible condition to live with, I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy. During the manic episodes they completely lose touch with reality; they thought aliens were coming to abduct them, they would have conversations with the television, were saying they could talk to dead people, they tried jump out the window as they thought they could fly, they set fire to the kitchen and almost burnt the house down. I could go on.

There's certainly nothing cool about it, if left untreated it can wreak complete havoc on a persons life.

 

[greentea33]

Yeah. It is really horrible for me personally. I completely lose touch with reality. I hope it doesn't keep getting worse the older I get. I'll only take anti psychotics when I go psychotic because they mess you up your body and your brain no doubt too really bad.

 

[harrison]

Someone close to me has bipolar disorder, I've witnessed it's effects first hand and it's a horrible condition to live with, I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy. During the manic episodes they completely lose touch with reality; they thought aliens were coming to abduct them, they would have conversations with the television, were saying they could talk to dead people, they tried jump out the window as they thought they could fly, they set fire to the kitchen and almost burnt the house down. I could go on.

There's certainly nothing cool about it, if left untreated it can wreak complete havoc on a persons life.

Sorry to hear about that person you know. It has wreaked a bit of havoc in my life too and I didn't even know I had it until a few years ago.

As for losing touch with reality I guess I did too - the things I was doing in a big manic phase 4 years ago were really ridiculous. I spent some money I'd inherited all in a few weeks on travelling all over the world - but it was not like just going on a holiday. I would stay up for 4 days in a row and wash all of my clothes in the swimming pool. Or go and buy ten thousand dollars worth of gold jewellery because I thought it might be a good investment. I was completely nuts.

I wouldn't call my wife and talk to her so she had no idea where I was. She called the cops and they found me on the CCTV going through the airport and reported me to Interpol as a missing person. They eventually caught up with me when I'd got back to Bali after a huge trip to Europe.

Even a friend of mine didn't seem to understand - she thought it was me just going nuts and having a good time after inheriting some money. But it wasn't like that at all. I did all the things like I was somehow forced to and none of it was really fun. I can't even remember quite a lot of it. There's a feeling of urgency in mania which is very dangerous. You can't slow down.

 

[greentea33]

I'm the same don. I forget a lot of what I do......can't sleep for weeks....nothing will knock me out. I don't even feel human anymore in those times.

I jumped out of a moving car once because I thought it was going to blow up for some reason.

 

[harrison]

I'm the same don. I forget a lot of what I do......can't sleep for weeks....nothing will knock me out. I don't even feel human anymore in those times.

I jumped out of a moving car once because I thought it was going to blow up for some reason.

Hi mate - sorry to hear that. I'm glad you're okay anyway.

Do you take the mood stablisers like Lithium or Valproate? I was a bit scared to try the Lithium but the Valproate seems to be working for me this time. I haven't needed the anti-psychotics yet but the way I was a week or two ago I think I almost did. I felt like I should have been in hospital actually, so I think I might try and get good health insurance again.

You can always contact me if you want, don't worry. ( I have to go out now though for a while)

 

[greentea33]

I take Seroquel on and off. I also can't take any anti depressants because they make me manic.

I'm getting to where I can see episodes coming on, I think. So thats probably a good thing. Bi polar psychotic episodes are pretty scary.

My first episode was at 39. I thought that was kind of old but I guess for some people it sets in later in life.

Thanks for the offer to talk.:smile2:

 

[harrison]

I take Seroquel on and off. I also can't take any anti depressants because they make me manic.

I'm getting to where I can see episodes coming on, I think. So thats probably a good thing. Bi polar psychotic episodes are pretty scary.

My first episode was at 39. I thought that was kind of old but I guess for some people it sets in later in life.

Thanks for the offer to talk.:smile2:

That's actually quite interesting to me. Since I was diagnosed 4 or 5 years ago I've been trying to remember other times in my life that I was manic. I can remember times when my mood was definitely very elevated and I had grandiose delusions and an inflated sense of self-importance. I just never knew what it was before.

(and sorry for calling you "mate" before - I always think you're a guy when I see that username but you're not I don't think)

Edit: and yeah, the antidepressants do weird things to me too. They seemed to be okay at first but I would get amazingly manic after I stopped them. That's actually what happened for that big episode.

I've just re-started Sodium Valproate - a mood stabliser. My ex-wife used to drive me nuts asking me if I was remembering to take it and I always would just say it didn't work, but it's helped a lot this time. I can sort of feel it reigning me in a bit.

 

[Furiosa]

@don: Thanks, it's actually my partner that suffers from it, so it's a condition I know all too well. I've noticed with them that it's at times of high stress / emotion that trigger the manic episodes, so in the past it's been things like bereavement, loss of a job, when a family member has fallen ill, when they have pushed themselves too hard at work, those sorts of things.

I can still remember the first time they experienced a manic episode, it was absolutely terrifying. I'm not a particularly religious person, but it was almost like they had become possesed by a demon or something, like the person they used to be was completely gone and this new crazy person had taken over them. At one point they woke me up in the middle of the night completely freaking out, spouting all this stuff about how there's a government conspiracy using bird flu to try and kill everyone. They worked themselves up into so much of a state I actually thought they were going to attempt to kill me, I genuinely feared for my life. They then proceeded to phone the police and explain their new found discovery about the so called government conspiracy.

I'd never seen anything like this before so I couldnt understand what was wrong with them, it took quite a while to get a proper diagnosis. In the end they ended up being sectioned in a mental institution, as they completely lost touch with reality and weren't safe to be left alone.

 

[greentea33]

That's actually quite interesting to me. Since I was diagnosed 4 or 5 years ago I've been trying to remember other times in my life that I was manic. I can remember times when my mood was definitely very elevated and I had grandiose delusions and an inflated sense of self-importance. I just never knew what it was before.

(and sorry for calling you "mate" before - I always think you're a guy when I see that username but you're not I don't think)

Edit: and yeah, the antidepressants do weird things to me too. They seemed to be okay at first but I would get amazingly manic after I stopped them. That's actually what happened for that big episode.

I've just re-started Sodium Valproate - a mood stabliser. My ex-wife used to drive me nuts asking me if I was remembering to take it and I always would just say it didn't work, but it's helped a lot this time. I can sort of feel it reigning me in a bit.

No....not a guy. I was manic as hell when I made this account. I had an account here before but I couldn't remember my password at the time so I just made this account because I wanted to talk to someone if I remember correctly.

I never intended to post under the name Frank.lol

In fact, when I got the email about accounts being compromised I freaked out because I didn't even remember making this account. I asked them to close it because I had 0 posts at that point but they told me I needed a reason.

I keep thinking now that I use it I should change my username but I'm lazy.

Anyways, it's good you found a medicine that works for you.

What I take.... Seroquel....is an ap and mood stabilizer but I have lots of bad side effects when I take it. Besides weight gain I have a really hard time breathing at night through my nose.

I messed up my back really bad a few days ago so now I'm taking valium and hydrocodone.
If start to sound loopy in posts during the next week...that's why.

 

[harrison]

@don: Thanks, it's actually my partner that suffers from it, so it's a condition I know all too well. I've noticed with them that it's at times of high stress / emotion that trigger the manic episodes, so in the past it's been things like bereavement, loss of a job, when a family member has fallen ill, when they have pushed themselves too hard at work, those sorts of things.

I can still remember the first time they experienced a manic episode, it was absolutely terrifying. I'm not a particularly religious person, but it was almost like they had become possesed by a demon or something, like the person they used to be was completely gone and this new crazy person had taken over them. At one point they woke me up in the middle of the night completely freaking out, spouting all this stuff about how there's a government conspiracy using bird flu to try and kill everyone. They worked themselves up into so much of a state I actually thought they were going to attempt to kill me, I genuinely feared for my life. They then proceeded to phone the police and explain their new found discovery about the so called government conspiracy.

I'd never seen anything like this before so I couldnt understand what was wrong with them, it took quite a while to get a proper diagnosis. In the end they ended up being sectioned in a mental institution, as they completely lost touch with reality and weren't safe to be left alone.

I've noticed that about myself very recently too - I officially separated from my wife last year and had to start living on my own. It's been very stressful and scared the hell out of me frankly, but I'm starting to get used to it.

I didn't believe the diagnosis until the last few weeks. I think I thought I had just had some strange sort of reaction to the anti-depressants I was on. But I hadn't taken anything for ages and started getting very manic again a few weeks ago. It was different and actually worse. So now I accept there's something I don't understand. I think there was a certain degree of pride involved before - that all goes out the window when you're scared enough, obviously.

Sorry to hear about your partner - that must have been very scary for the both of you. Thank you very much for telling me about it too - I appreciate it. Don't hesitate to message me if you ever want to talk about what's happening with your partner too. I don't really know anyone else that's bipolar - although I've been to a meetup for it. But the people there seem to be a bit different to me.