[ed1980]

I eat too much and it is making me really unhappy and obese and poor. Does anybody else here struggle with this?

Today I ate a large doner kebab, a pie, some fudge and a whole sharing bag of Cadbury's Heroes. I'm binge eating again. It's costing me a fortune - the doner kebab on its own was £7.50 which is a lot of money.

This time last year I was in excellent shape. For a middle-aged man I looked pretty decent. I still do 100 push ups every day and lift weights. I also walk for well over an hour each day to get to work. But I've started to get really flabby.

Since I became a Christian I gave up drinking too much alcohol and a lot of other bad habits that used to comfort me. But those bad habits have been replaced by cramming my face full of pies and takeaways.

I'm too fat to go out running as it will wreck my knees. So idk how I'm going to exercise off all this weight. Any ideas please?

 

[SplendidBob]

Ye, I have binge eating issues.

The first thing to do is make it harder to binge, and if you do, you don't do as much damage. Remove all ultraprocessed food from your food environment, and ideally stop eating it all together. But removing it from easy access is the first thing.

This applies to times when you are out, you don't want to be buying food when hungry, always prepare food. It doesn't have to be healthy, but it does have to be prepared, because once you buy food, you buy the ultra processed, and then 3 mins later you have inhaled 3000 calories and undone a week's not binging. (My experience).

Binging works like this. There's a timer, in your brain (there isn't, but the metaphor makes sense). The longer you go without binging, the easier it is not to binge. Put as much distance between yourself and the last binge. That means it gets easier.

It's a cliche, but be kind to yourself. You binge due to habit, neurochemistry and other issues. When I visit my girlfriend, I put a lock on a cupboard and she stashes all her sons junk food in there. This is what you have to do if you are serious about fixing this stuff. It also demonstrates the variation in neurochemistry. Her genes mean they can literally eat half a chocolate bar and leave it. It's ****ing madness, but it shows its not your fault. Most people have some level of struggle with this, some people have none. Genetics.

That said, you can still overcome it.

Forget weight loss for now, get the food you are eating nailed down. If you stop binging g, the weight loss happens by itself. No exercise needed.

The final thing, a piece of advice, just don't eat ultraprocessed food. Nothing from a packet with a long list of ingredients. Up your vegetable intake. The thing that people don't know, honestly, it's mental..

Taste adjusts. Simpler food tastes like ***, until your brain forgets what the heroin food (ultraprocessed) tastes like. Then it tastes delicious. Don't eat anything that tastes too nice, let your taste adapt, and soon you find tins of pilchards and runner beans delicious (literally my experience). Then, if you mess up and binge, you ate an extra 1000 calories, who cares, whatever.

But all the while you are jacking your taste buds with foodular heroin, you will binge.

You asked for what to do, this, in my experience, is the price of controlling binging. My opinion only.

 

[ed1980]

Thanks @SplendidBob, that was an excellent reply. Much appreciated.

I think it's genetics to an extent, yes. But it's also habit. It's getting a bit embarassing as my girlfriend is very slim and attractive and I'm just this fat old bloke now. She eats sensibly and goes to exercise classes and jogging whilst I'm cramming my piehole full of kebabs. I need to sort this out as it isn't fair.

I want to use my religion and my partner as motivation. Gluttony is a sin, after all, and it's not fair on my partner if one of us is making lots of effort to lose weight and the other isn't.

I can cook a little bit and I do usually make pasta, which isn't processed. I lost a lot of weight in 2021 just by having two to three meals of pasta and quorn a day. Most people would say white pasta is too high GI but I find it quite filling and two meals of pasta a day will usually do me. I'm going to try that again, maybe?

But I'm too lazy to cook sometimes and you'll never get me eating vegetables, sorry, that's just the way it is. I can't be relied on to eat the vegetables I buy and they just go off in my fridge and make my fridge smelly.

Hardest thing is going into a shop when I'm hungry after work and not buying all the junk food on offer, which is invariably cheaper to buy and easier to eat than anything I could cook myself.

I'll try eating simpler basic foods that I've cooked. It sounds gross but I find that just a tin of pilchards in tomato sauce and penne pasta is fairly edible, and that isn't the food equivalent of heroin at all. Once I've lost enough weight that my knees won't get busted up by me running on them I'll try and go and do that too.

 

[ed1980]

Sorry for double post but just to say:

I only had two meals today. First I had 125g penne pasta with 100g quorn mince and a tomato, oregano and cinnamon sauce. Then just now I had 125g penne pasta in a tomato and basil sauce. That's presumably less than 1500 calories so I'm doing okay today.

I found that if I go directly home from work and don't go into any shops, then I'm not going to get tempted by junk food and pies when I'm most hungry. I can buy dried pasta and frozen quorn and it keeps for ages. So I don't need to keep going into the shop on the way home now. I can also walk a route home that doesn't go past any takeaways.

I also did 100 push ups, lifted some dumbells (shoulders and biceps), and walked for well over an hour to get to and from work, as well as walking around doing my job. I think I'm going to be okay

 

[Jenna]

I use a calorie counting app and that seems to help me with taking smaller portions. You enter the foods you eat for the day and it totals up the calories. It lets you know when you went over your calorie budget for the day. Then it tells you how many calories you need to burn off to lose weight. I like that it also gives an estimated date of when you can reach your target goal if you stick to your calorie limit.

 

[christacat]

I have had this problem too since my mid teens. I've tried eating right, dieting, starving myself etc but if something triggers it (like years ago when I was trying to diet, some online 'friend' started picking on me, said 'go eat a big chocolate cake'. I was in tears for days, even exercise didn't help and I fell off the wagon, started eating junk food again) I go back to eating the wrong things. It doesn't help that I've been a fussy eater since childhood either.

 

[WillYouStopDave]

I used to (I guess) do unrestricted binge eating. Which (strangely enough) never actually resulted in me being enormously overweight. As a matter of fact, back when I used to binge hard on carbs and fat, I was actually under 160 (which is pretty weird for someone who is 5' 10" and eats whatever they want).

But it did all eventually catch up with me. I eventually did get somewhat overweight (still not as bad as you'd think for how much I used to eat). Now that I'm diabetic, I try to eat healthier and eat less but it kind of backfires because healthy food frankly doesn't satisfy me at all and I just end up eating more and more of it in frustration.

And the sad part is that because I can't really overdo it on carbs, I tend to compensate for it with any kind of flavor that gives me even a slight "fix". I especially love salty flavors and that means I overdo it with things that are high in sodium. I used to (for many years) dump extra salt on things even that were already high in sodium. Like if I ate a large pizza, I'd just grab the salt and pepper shakers and go crazy. You could literally see this layer of salt granules on top of the melted cheese. But now that I'm having issues with HBP and tachycardia and so forth, I don't add extra salt. But I still gravitate to things that taste salty. And guess why things that taste salty taste salty. Because they are! So it's kinda like I know what I'm doing but I let my brain tell me I'm not doing it because there isn't a salt shaker involved.

Anyway, yeah. So I go out of my way to buy a block of tofu and then I add gobs of salty mustard to it because that's the easiest way to give it flavor.

 

[SplendidBob]

Sorry for double post but just to say:

I only had two meals today. First I had 125g penne pasta with 100g quorn mince and a tomato, oregano and cinnamon sauce. Then just now I had 125g penne pasta in a tomato and basil sauce. That's presumably less than 1500 calories so I'm doing okay today.

I found that if I go directly home from work and don't go into any shops, then I'm not going to get tempted by junk food and pies when I'm most hungry. I can buy dried pasta and frozen quorn and it keeps for ages. So I don't need to keep going into the shop on the way home now. I can also walk a route home that doesn't go past any takeaways.

I also did 100 push ups, lifted some dumbells (shoulders and biceps), and walked for well over an hour to get to and from work, as well as walking around doing my job. I think I'm going to be okay

Good call re the route.
The less you have to tax willpower the better.

I think we tend to cling to an ideal of behaviour. "I should be able to resist this" so we don't take the steps needed to actually help us. The bingey part of the mind is more than happy to lead us into those environments for this, or any other reason. Just better to cut that **** off at the source and not expose oneself to the temptation at all.

"I have failed now, so might as well continue", also a classic of my mind that props up the behaviour.

Good job with those changes, hope it makes things a little easier

 

[ed1980]

@Jenna
A lady at my old job used to use one of those apps, she was always eating during her shift but she'd always punch in what she was eating and keep a record of her calories in a day. To be fair, she did lose quite a lot of weight over the course of me knowing her so it sounds like the effort pays off. It also sounds good to know how long you'll have to diet for before you begin dieting too. Thank you.

@christacat
I'm sorry to hear about this. Some people can be extremely cruel.

It's the same with me and food now. I haven't done drugs for a long time, and don't really drink any more. But now I inevitably turn to food as a kind of replacement drug, almost. If I get sad and discouraged I struggle to stop myself from overeating as I'm trying to drug myself up with food to fix my bad temper. If I get sad I seem to just stop caring about the consequences of it.

@WillYouStopDave
I eat a lot of salt too, and I just got told by the nurse that I have above average blood pressure as well. I haven't made any effort to cut down. I'm forty-two now and I sometimes forget that I'm not an indestructible young man any more.

I'm also on antipsychotic meds that have 'sudden unexplained death' (!) as a side effect lol (I'm not even kidding) so I probably need to be careful.

@SplendidBob
Haha I know a lot about the whole "well, I've failed so I must continue" thing, it's happened with every bad habit I've been trying to quit over the past year or so. I think addiction recovery programmes even call it 'the chaser effect'.

Plus when I'm starting a diet, I need to have a last day binge and absolutely go mad and eat all the food. Then I fail the diet, and start again, and have another 'last day' binge again. I end up eating even more than I would have done otherwise.

Thanks I think your advice is good about cutting things off at the source, it's hard with some bad habits but with food it is quite easy to just keep a nearly-empty cupboard and fridge with just quorn, pasta, tomatoes, garlic and a few herbs in it. It's like I'm harnessing my own laziness to help me succeed. I know I can't be bothered going down the shops when I'm tired or depressed. Which is precisely when I know I'm going to over-eat.

 

[PenguinWings]

I eat too much and it is making me really unhappy and obese and poor. Does anybody else here struggle with this?

Today I ate a large doner kebab, a pie, some fudge and a whole sharing bag of Cadbury's Heroes. I'm binge eating again. It's costing me a fortune - the doner kebab on its own was £7.50 which is a lot of money.

This time last year I was in excellent shape. For a middle-aged man I looked pretty decent. I still do 100 push ups every day and lift weights. I also walk for well over an hour each day to get to work. But I've started to get really flabby.

Since I became a Christian I gave up drinking too much alcohol and a lot of other bad habits that used to comfort me. But those bad habits have been replaced by cramming my face full of pies and takeaways.

I'm too fat to go out running as it will wreck my knees. So idk how I'm going to exercise off all this weight. Any ideas please?

From my recent experience with the issue. Besides eating not just one but two pints of ice cream in the same day on a regular basis, but also finishing one but two bags of potatoe chips and sometimes even going for the cookie dough. thats at my worse which yeah, I need to come to terms and resolve that for myself soon.

So I think really what works and has been progressively working for me is.

One, know when your meal is over. Most people don't really have a proper established consideration that once they have eaten a proper meal, it is in fact time to wait till their next one rather than snacking through out the day to get their sugar and or carb rate.

Second would be. Learn to eat your proper portion that you set for yourself. If you have decided one or two bowls of your meal. Be able to accomplish it, and stay in that consistency in keeping your proper portions. Some people like me have to make sure that once we have eaten a decent generous bowl or even two, and say one dessert of some sort. Thats it. The meal is over. there is no more looking in the fridge.

So learn to moderate and eat proper portions of what can be considered a generous portion for one if you feel that is right for you. But more importantly begin learning to sustain and regulate saying no to excess.

I have to learn to eat only one or maximum two bowls of a meal, and so eat it with grace, appreciation, and a bit more slowly, because thats also why a lot of times we don't enjoy our meals.
that and know that desserts and sugar only taste good when its once in a while.

Theres also the major cut down of salt that when you do this for lets say a week. You go back to eating at a restaurant and most of the food you eat can be too salty.

 

[ed1980]

From my recent experience with the issue. Besides eating not just one but two pints of ice cream in the same day on a regular basis, but also finishing one but two bags of potatoe chips and sometimes even going for the cookie dough. thats at my worse which yeah, I need to come to terms and resolve that for myself soon.

So I think really what works and has been progressively working for me is.

One, know when your meal is over. Most people don't really have a proper established consideration that once they have eaten a proper meal, it is in fact time to wait till their next one rather than snacking through out the day to get their sugar and or carb rate.

Second would be. Learn to eat your proper portion that you set for yourself. If you have decided one or two bowls of your meal. Be able to accomplish it, and stay in that consistency in keeping your proper portions. Some people like me have to make sure that once we have eaten a decent generous bowl or even two, and say one dessert of some sort. Thats it. The meal is over. there is no more looking in the fridge.

So learn to moderate and eat proper portions of what can be considered a generous portion for one if you feel that is right for you. But more importantly begin learning to sustain and regulate saying no to excess.

I have to learn to eat only one or maximum two bowls of a meal, and so eat it with grace, appreciation, and a bit more slowly, because thats also why a lot of times we don't enjoy our meals.
that and know that desserts and sugar only taste good when its once in a while.

Theres also the major cut down of salt that when you do this for lets say a week. You go back to eating at a restaurant and most of the food you eat can be too salty.

Thanks PenguinWings - good advice! I'm glad you've found what works. I do need to eat proper meals. I have been trying to cook and make meals the past few days, instead of just buying miscellaneous junk food at the shop and eating that throughout the day.

If I have a proper meal I've cooked, and set meal-times, then like you say I know when it is finished. If I make sure I only buy enough food to fill out those mealtimes then I won't be able to be tempted to overindulge.

Also eating slowly is good advice, thanks. I tend to cram my face as full of food as possible as rapidly as possible. I have had people complain that I wolf my food down. I need to learn to appreciate what I have more.

I have been eating doner kebabs regularly recently:

Doner kebabs contain up to three times recommended daily limit of fat and salt, finds study

Some contain 1,990 calories, 70g of saturated fat, 16.5g of salt and even pork

www.theguardian.com

I knew they have a ton of calories in them, but I didn't realise they have over a day's worth of salt as well

 

[amyj915]

Food companies have high paid scientist working for them to make sure the junk is highly palatable, highly addictive and no nutrition. When you feel like binging/eating: 1 ask yourself: Why am I eating? 2. Find a Stop habit. If you are going to eat and the answer to #1 is not, I am hungry. Find a new habit. It's not genetic, its 100% habit. Chew on flavored gum, Journal, meditate, take a walk, have raw veggies, hard boiled eggs, string cheese available snacks. Stock up on high protein items, they are harder to over consume. If you need carbs, eat them with protein NOT fat. Fat w/carbs will also spike your dopamine receptors. LOVE yourself more than anything/anyone else. Work to make changes because you love yourself so much that you don't want to keep putting processed poison in your body.

 

[ed1980]

Hi amyj915 - welcome to SAS

Thanks that's a good post too. Helpful to me and anybody else who might be reading.

I totally agree with you there. All sorts of companies nowadays employ experts to make their stuff ultra-addictive. Whether that's food and drink or other stuff like social media, websites, video games, and other things I could mention - a lot of stuff in our society nowadays is designed to be incredibly addicting, and profitable.

Learning how to deal with all these instantly pleasurable, habit-forming activities seems to be becoming a crucial life skill. So handling my approach to food like an addiction is probably sensible. Whenever I feel the urge to eat rubbish I need to find something else to do. Like you say - find a new habit.

I am eating carbs with protein at the moment, so not doing too bad. I usually have quorn and pasta.

Finally yes, it can't hurt to love ourselves a little more too!