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Hiding In My Den
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1,955 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Are you doing better or worse then when you first joined sas? Me I joined in november 2003 and I was actually somewhat happy back then. I wasn't blissfully happy, but I was happy somewhat and had hope for the future. I even had a real life friend and I certainly never went weeks let alone months without leaving the house. If someone then would've asked me where I'd be 5 years from now I certainly never would've pictured my life this bad.

And now...now I have nothing. I don't even have online friends really, I mean well I do but none close. None that would be devestated if something happened to me 1 day. Everyone I've ever gotten close to has ended up hating me so much that they pretend I'm dead already. Whats more annoying is they all hurt me first with their lies yet their the ones that hate me. The only people who have anything to do with me do so out of obligation or because they feel sorry for me.

Anyway I have no hope for the future. I'll never have a boyfriend, I'll never have a job, I'll never have real life friends, I'll never have close online friends, I'll never have any money, I'll never be independent. I will however have some "excitment" when I die on the streets from homelessness in 20 or so years.
 

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Retired Enforcer
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19,112 Posts
Definitely better.
 

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Registered
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3,626 Posts
Somewhat better in some ways, in other ways, I feel lost. But it makes me feel good that I'm not the only one.
 

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Registered
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1,910 Posts
Although I'm still not working or in school, I'm definitely better than I was when I first joined.
 

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R.I.P. Do not contact.
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1,905 Posts
About the same or a tad worse, I guess. My final desperate effort in trying to befriend people was made in the same year I joined. Never again. I did have some short-lived triumphs like getting a first job however.
 

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Banned
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38,431 Posts
Life only moves in one direction for me: downhill.

I joined in Oct 2002 and I'm clearly doing far worse today than I was back then and I wasn't doing well back then.
 

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Registered
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794 Posts
It's getting worse but it's nothing to do with the forum.
 

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Registered
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97 Posts
I joined a long time ago when I was pretty depressed and non-functional in my daily life, but mostly read and didn't post much.

I started reading here again for the past few months and over that time I've felt a lot better. But what drew me back could have been a desire to change, so it may just be part of that process for me. I think this board really helps to put things in perspective - seeing someone else describe the feelings I struggle with can really reshape how I think about my own problems. I'll read posts and think "wow, that person sounds so intelligent/witty/insightful I'd be intimidated to talk to them", and then realize that they likely feel the same way about everyone else despite how intelligent/witty/insightful they are.

I can see where if this is the main place people get social feedback it could be detrimental in some ways - it's helpful to see how non-anxious people view things to have an idea of how life can be perceived and experienced differently. But as a tool for exploring SA as a disorder it's incredibly beneficial and I think has been helpful. And as an added benefit, I couldn't post two months ago, and just now I only fretted over this post for 5 minutes! :p Built-in behavioral modification :)
 

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Registered
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89 Posts
Much, much better. I have more friends (although most of them live several hours away, which is hard), a job I love, and I'm much less depressed and lonely.
 

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Registered
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31 Posts
Anyway I have no hope for the future. I'll never have a boyfriend, I'll never have a job, I'll never have real life friends, I'll never have close online friends, I'll never have any money, I'll never be independent. I will however have some "excitment" when I die on the streets from homelessness in 20 or so years.
- please dont say that. There always is hope if you search for it. I really want to help you somehow... How old are you?
 

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Prince Procrastinator
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237 Posts
- please dont say that. There always is hope if you search for it. I really want to help you somehow... How old are you?
I agree. Never say this, this is a horrible attitude. I can understand pessimism if you've been through a lot of crap - but there are plenty of stories of people who've had horrible times but turned out happy. Happiness is a goal we can all achieve. We just need the motivation for it. And we can help eachother out.

As for the subject matter at hand... Yeah, it's gotten worse, and I've only been here a couple of weeks! I don't know. Not sure if it's the site. Maybe it's just a coincidence. Either way I'm glad I joined. Ignorance is not always bliss.
 

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Registered
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5,554 Posts
I'd say I'm pretty much doing the same. Maybe a little worse since I joined. I've become much more isolated lately.
 

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Shift Happens
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454 Posts
I joined SAS in december 2007. I honestly just came back on the forum about a couple of months ago. I believe i'm better off as of right now than when i initially began just by learning more about SA and the various stories people post about on here. I was pretty depressed and didn't really know what to do with my life. I cried much more back than but i'm trying to get the hang of it now and experiencing the real world for the first time in a long time. It also motivated me by going to group CBT and focusing on my feelings, thoughts and behaviors.
 
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