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Gimme Sympathy
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Has anyone thought of or tired to tell another person EXACTLY how they feel living with SA and how it affects your life, in all the gory details? I feel that every person I meet, I want to be able to tell them what I am going through and just share with another person just how bad I'm feeling on the inside. I know exactly what I'd say, describe in complete detail how SA impedes my life and how it manifests itself in absolutely everything I do.
Has anyone tried doing this, and what was the reaction? I know most people wont understand what Im going through, but I've met some really great people recently and I just want to tell them how I feel to have another person out there know what I am going through.
 

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I've had times where I've wanted to do that, but then my mind says to me, "If you say that you'll just sound like an attention *****. Wah wah, oh woe is me" etc. I don't want to be treated like a cripple because of my condition, but at the same time I'd like for people to atleast understand and not be so... non-understanding, I guess. :/
 

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Has anyone thought of or tired to tell another person EXACTLY how they feel living with SA and how it affects your life, in all the gory details? I feel that every person I meet, I want to be able to tell them what I am going through and just share with another person just how bad I'm feeling on the inside. I know exactly what I'd say, describe in complete detail how SA impedes my life and how it manifests itself in absolutely everything I do.
Has anyone tried doing this, and what was the reaction? I know most people wont understand what Im going through, but I've met some really great people recently and I just want to tell them how I feel to have another person out there know what I am going through.
yes

im scared to over up to anyone but whn i meet a persn who is nice to me, and doe not judge me and i know 100% that they like meand would never criticise , ridicule , reject or embarrass me i have no problem opening up to them.

i spent many years being in denial about my SA but in 2004 i reached the point were i was completely out of denial and i had no problem what so ever admitted my weeknesses. i got to the point were i was actually pulling myhair out cos i had to tell someone what i was going through. i was 22 years old by then and id spent 22 years holding all of this [email protected] inside, and after finally coming out of denial i just had to let it all out cos it was killing me

so every night when i got home from work id go straight to my bedroom and just write for hours and hours . i was writing my life story - hwat happend when i was a kid, my parents , living with sa my whole life, being scared of girls etc....

i just wrote everything down and after a few weeks i had wrote about 100 pages of a4 paper front and back

it felt good to get it all out but i still needed someone else to read it. these 2 woman in work had been really nice to me. they didnt judge judge me, they liked me and i knew they wouldnt criticse me or anything. over the course of that year they had become like mother or sister figures to me .

so i asked them both to read wha i wrote. i brought it into work and gave it to hem. they took it home and read it. i didnt leave one stone unturned, it was warts and all. they both knew meinside out after that and they understood.

it felt great

also i ahd a newspaper article written on me in 2008 , it was about my sa. basically i told the reporter that i have no friends, no girlfriend , that im scared of girls , and that i used to saty in and watch tv all of the time. i had no probs with my neighboruhood reading about my problems int he local paper - if you google david mckenna - bootle (or bootle times ) you should find th article. i think its titled - putting his phobia int he shadows or something like that

my advise to you would be write down your problems on a piece of paper and then let somebody else read it . if you havent got anyone in life that you trust then just go and see a cunsellor and let them read i . one word of caution though - dont write 100 pages like i did. if someone gave me 100 pages to read of thr problems id be like '' eeerrr hello ive got a life yu know. i havent got time for this''. i wasn thinking like that at the time and i realise asking someone to read that much was a bit inaproprite

just make it short and sweet
 

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I've wanted to, to my 6 year boyfriend. But I think he thinks it's just all in my head, I would look like a crazy chic.

Actually EVERYone but ONE person in my life would be like "oh, why don't you see a doctor"... then ask if I want to go to a concert, or something obnoxious!
 

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I know most people wont understand what Im going through, but I've met some really great people recently and I just want to tell them how I feel to have another person out there know what I am going through.
Consider very carefully why you want to tell them, and what reaction you expect to get.
I think it's great to tell people about anxiety so you don't have to lie, or make up excuses why you don't want to do certain things, but even good friends can't understand or always support you.
 

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I'm not like that just with SA. I'm that with everything. I can't be completely and totally honest with anything, I don't know if I'm ashamed of myself or what, I just can't tell everything to anyone.
I don't know if I'm a liar or if I am just not telling anything. Maybe I'm a liar. I mean, I can lie quite well and most of the times I'm not telling the truth. But I can't help it to lie.
What should I do? :afr
 

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Yes, I have. The reaction was feigned sympathy. If your motive is finding someone who is going to rescue you from SA by, say, gently coaxing you out of your shell, I suggest you rethink your options. People don't understand this problem and have no way of offering you anything that's going to measure up to whatever ideal situation you've envisioned. The most likely outcome is you force them into a position where they now feel constrained in how they interact with you. If you want to spill your guts, do so to someone who actually has a chance of making a difference: seek out a therapist.
This is probably the unfortunate reality. A few rare gems in real life will be able to understand and help you find a decent life once again, but these people are incredibly rare, like maybe if you met one or two of them in your lifetime that would be good. If you explain things in a certain way that makes sense to those people, they might accept you and work with you, but more than likely they will not understand and will probably look at you as a little unusual. The best chance that you have is seeking a therapist or counselor, and then they can help you to decide what to tell to other people and perhaps ways to say it that might make sense to them.
 

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Gimme Sympathy
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Discussion Starter #9
wow, thanks for the advice everyone. I don't think I'll tell anyone I know now because I feel so determined to not live with SA forever that telling people about it would make it more real than it is.
 

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Oh yeah. My brother is totally against medications and therapy. He repeatedly tells me, "Don't let them convince you that you are crazy", and "Everyone has the same problems. Everyone gets terrified around people but you just got to hold your head high and deal with it the best you can". I've had people tell me that they just can't understand why I am so isolated and not wanting to make a bunch of friends and be social". Well, I can't understand why such an emphasis is put on being the life of the party in the first place. MAybe more introverted people, if we could possibly be accepted in the social realm as a kind of counter-weight to those who let their mouths run without little thought.
 

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i think the feeling of wanting to tell people is someone trying to get it off their chest, thats' it. they are not really hopping to get some advice back. it's more to relieve oneself. having said that, one is better off at speaking their minds about their SA here (or real life support groups) among other SA sufferers, friends, or that significant other.

it's the same thing as when someone is going through some problems, they have the feeling of getting it off their chest by speaking with someone. that's normal human behavior. the problem is one does not just say it to any stranger that comes along. this sharing of feelings and thoughts is one reason why friendships and relationships exist. you just don't say this type of stuff to just anybody.

so no, i've never talked to just anyone about my SA nor have the need to. as a matter of fact i've only mentioned it here anonymous. no one has advice to give me, but i vent. :boogie
 

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I'm not like that just with SA. I'm that with everything. I can't be completely and totally honest with anything, I don't know if I'm ashamed of myself or what, I just can't tell everything to anyone.
I don't know if I'm a liar or if I am just not telling anything. Maybe I'm a liar. I mean, I can lie quite well and most of the times I'm not telling the truth. But I can't help it to lie.
What should I do?
that's normal. it's called go "with the flow". if a fat lady asks you "do i look fat in this dress?" one will say "no it looks good on you" even though it may be a lie. this may be a bad example but it's all i could come up with right now.
 
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