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a "friend" was planning to go in a trip with her closer friend but that didn't work out. since she still wants to go on this trip, she suddenly invites me along.. even though she didn't invite me before she found out her friend wasn't going. I feel like I'm the backup friend, and it's like, she'll hang out with me if she has no one else. so annoying.. i don't even know if i should say yes to this trip although i want to go on it.
 

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I say do it anyway. You never quite know what might happen. You could have a really good time, possibly. Just try not to focus or think too much about how seriously you think you're considered as a friend to this person. Just focus more on enjoying the moments and try to just blur out anything fearful or doubtful that tries to entered your mind.

For what it's worth, I look through some of my contacts and I often presume that I am often a "last resort" friend. It used to bother me a lot more (and it still does), but after enough time passed, I didn't have the energy anymore to wallow about it.

If you can, let us know how it goes in this thread (or another thread), if you do decide to go!
 

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At least you are an option at all. I used to get jealous/pissed when I wasn't invited to everything my friends were involved in.
If you're anyway like me, I don't have a very affable demeanor. I tend to have a negative attitude and rag on others. One can tolerate this for so long. When a friend doesn't always share mutual feelings on certain things it puts them under some pressure.
But there is still something there that continues to draw them in. Whether it's sympathy or desperation. You can always use that to your advantage. It's never too late to play your cards right.

As soon as I checked my behavior more or less, I noticed a couple people would initiate communication. Which I thought was a big improvement for my circumstance.. Sometimes it's not 'all about you'.
 

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As soon as I checked my behavior more or less, I noticed a couple people would initiate communication. Which I thought was a big improvement for my circumstance.. Sometimes it's not 'all about you'.
Now that you bring up this point, it reminds me of why it's absurdly easy for me to get upset after being around people. I've lost count a long time ago at the number of times I would meet somebody and then later on wallow in misery like a despondent German existentialist, because I wanted the person (or people) to like me immediately.

The few times I've been able to put that aside and realize that it's not all about me, I was fine (in the sense that I was not as upset).
 

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a "friend" was planning to go in a trip with her closer friend but that didn't work out. since she still wants to go on this trip, she suddenly invites me along.. even though she didn't invite me before she found out her friend wasn't going. I feel like I'm the backup friend, and it's like, she'll hang out with me if she has no one else. so annoying.. i don't even know if i should say yes to this trip although i want to go on it.
It depends on how much you'd resent it. Honestly if you wanna go and think you can have a good time while overlooking that you were the second option, I think I'd go ahead and do it.

However if it's really gonna bug you I'd just pass and let it be. You don't have to blow em' off but just tell them that you've got a previous engagement. If you really think you were wronged then there's nothing wrong with having a little self respect.
 

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Hey, at least you get invited. I never get invited to anything :D
 

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Depends how proud and offended you are. Not accepting may send a message. Otherwise if you don't really care then I guess it doesn't matter. You could still enjoy yourself.

I was a backup for a while and though I didn't care initially, some other stuff happened (a betrayal etc). I got resentful and ended it. Overall it doesn't bode well for you but who knows.
 

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Maybe she just prefers spending time with that friend more than you? Is that really so bad?

Aren't there people higher up on your list of people that you like? Maybe if you were going on a trip she's not the first person you'd call.

I wouldn't take it personally. I mean, sometimes my brothers go places and don't invite me, and other times I'll hang out with one and not invite the other. Does that mean I don't like my other brother? NO! Sometimes you just feel more comfortable doing certain things with certain people.
 
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