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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I dont know whether anyone will have been in the same situation, or if itsj ust me but i thought id share.
I am at a point where I have absolutely had enough. People dont bother with me. whatsmore annoying is that if I ask them if they want to do something, they will pretend they do and then I never hear anything. Its actually more frustrating to have people who bull**** you about you being their friend, but their actions say otherwise and actions speak louder than words. I have a facebook and it makes things 10x worse, everyone's statuses,pictures, videos, over and over agan seeing the same crap everyday that I wish i could just have an ounce of. I just cant bring myself to delete it though cos i have internet friends on there that i dont have any other means of communication with. i dont know how the explain in words allthe things going on in my head atm but im sick of people and im so stubborn that I have decided im not going to accept being treated like **** and "forget about them" like people tell me too.people say make new friends. its not that easy and when i do, they end up doing the exact same things to me. everything ive ever wanted in a friend i have in two girls that live 5,000 miles away. its like im close yet so far away, and obvsly bad luck that ive manged to find people who really care on the internet but not in real life. if they lived close to me id have no problem. im permanently angry because i refuse to be ok with having a life like this. and i read other posts and people saying "get out there", but how can i if people make pathetic excuses or cancel on me? theres only so much i can do when "friends" dont want to spend time with me. i keep thinking ill try again and again, waiting for them to change, but they're not. im so stubborn i have this thought that im NOT going to conform until OTHER people change. trust me ive thought of everything and "you cant change other people, only urself." i know if i wait for other people to change and start being more considerate, im going to be waiting forever. but in a way i think i would rather that than learn to be OK with people not getting over themselves and reach out to someone who is less fortunate than themselves for once. its made me realize how selfish people are too, cause i cant give people entertainment and fun and look at me, the lonely one. the ones who have more to give are the ones who have friends and a fun life, the people they are friends with them cause they can get something out of them,when u think about it its quite weird that when it comes down to it everyone is out for themselves and what they can get out of each other. but as a loud outgoing person with those friends they just don see it like that, caus they have no reason to look so far into anything. they have fun they go out they do what they should be doing at their age,. there's nothing to question. its like you want to open peoples eyes and see more than what they do, see things from our point of view, but i dont think anyone can fathom our suffering. ive just gone on and on & duno how much sense ive made. watever i do im clearly just not what anyone wants in their life, so i might as well be bitter and angry and stand up for what im believing in and who knows maybe someone on the outside will listen one day. way i see it is there is NOTHING more i can do.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
bumpppppppppppppp
 
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