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195 Posts
The only time I feel like I succeed in associating with people is when I play private jokes on myself. For example, if I approach a person I'll be more successful if I'm in a playful mood and start to think "I'm such a wreck and this person doesn't even know, let's see if he finds out." Or if it involves self-sabotage, like sometimes I get so tired of the problem that if I see old classmates in a restaurant sitting together I'll immediately go to them and introduce myself so that I can witness what awful things happen to me next.
It's like I'm saying "ok, let's see how you handle this" and I throw myself into the most awkward scenario I can find, as an expression of how much I hate living like this.
If I succeed in humiliating myself, I'll either find it hysterical, or feel like crud for the rest of the day.
I'm not sure if this is good or bad? The plus side is I'm using humor effectively, and leaving my boundaries - but maybe it's self-destructive.
It's like I'm saying "ok, let's see how you handle this" and I throw myself into the most awkward scenario I can find, as an expression of how much I hate living like this.
If I succeed in humiliating myself, I'll either find it hysterical, or feel like crud for the rest of the day.
I'm not sure if this is good or bad? The plus side is I'm using humor effectively, and leaving my boundaries - but maybe it's self-destructive.