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Anyone else find that they have "hardened their heart" over the years? I'm not becoming a mean person or anything, just bitter and jaded, and it would take a lot for me to build any kind of emotions for someone new.

I just kind of have a "I don't give a crap" attitude about most things, and I'm about as happy as I will ever be this way. I've tried people, and have learned that outside of a very select few, most people are crap.
 

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Anyone else find that they have "hardened their heart" over the years? I'm not becoming a mean person or anything, just bitter and jaded, and it would take a lot for me to build any kind of emotions for someone new.

I just kind of have a "I don't give a crap" attitude about most things, and I'm about as happy as I will ever be this way. I've tried people, and have learned that outside of a very select few, most people are crap.
I can totally relate to this.
I've found that due to certain life experiences over the years I've just come more and more cynical about everything around me. Especially things like dating and making new friends. As much as I'd like to be able to do those things a lot of the time my outlook is something like "To hell with this! It's all so difficult anyway and will just end in disaster whatever I try! Screw this I just don't care anymore!"
I do try to keep a positive outlook but that's easier said than done and I just find myself framing every possible situation in the worst light possible.
 

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I haven't hardened my heart or closed myself off, but I have grown cynical, bitter, and suspicious of everyone's motives. And even though I still have emotions and feel strongly about people, I tend to hide that from them rather than express it, because I learned the hard way that 1. it won't be reciprocated or appreciated, or 2. it'll scare people off.

So the emotions are still there...I just keep them hidden away. I'm tired of being naive and getting burned. :no There are MANY days I wish I could completely withdraw, become totally selfish (since many people already assume I am), and shut off my concern for others, it seems like it'd hurt a lot less than caring so much about people who don't care for me.
 

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Having years of this depression and suicidal thoughts festering and bubbling inside me have also made me jaded, cynical, bitter, etc. It'd happen to anyone really!
 

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Yep I know this, in fact for the last 18 months i basically shut myself down emotionally. But it's really no way to live.

I am trying to come out of it at the moment and finding that even little things are "hitting" me a lot harder.

Hoping I will level out
 

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I don't like dealing with my/others' emotions, so yes I am closed off. Emotions are just annoying to deal with, and when I don't know how to deal with them I just turn to anger. I'm not mean or anything, I'm a decently nice person, but I just don't like opening up or talking about things or dealing with my emotions. I prefer surface-level things.
 

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I'm not cynical/bitter and i'm able to get close to people and trust them, but i've never liked to express too much emotion. Doing such is a HUGE sign of weakness for me, and if I can't hold back my emotions enough in front of others, I feel shame and embarrassment. Also, i'm still getting used to a pill that screws with my hormones, so i'll randomly get depressed/teary over minor things or for no reason at all. Luckily it only lasts an hour or two, but it's making me look so ****ing weak and stupid in front of people and I hate it.

And even though I still have emotions and feel strongly about people, I tend to hide that from them rather than express it, because I learned the hard way that 1. it won't be reciprocated or appreciated, or 2. it'll scare people off.
This, too. In the past, i've expressed emotions to people I didn't trust 100%, and they have used me or walked all over me, then left. Now, I just wait until people express positive feelings towards me before I say anything.
 
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