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Leben ist verrückt!!!!
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I've been in school for a while and I've noticed that I haven't met any friends in college. Everyone else has made new relationships with different people and I have not met one really. I have had some acquaintances, but they quickly vanish after the semester is over or when they're done using you.

This semester it seems like I am starting to like being a loner. I dont know why, but I feel like it is not a bad thing and that I tend to enjoy it sometimes. I mean, I still feel embarrased sitting in the student union eating alone, but sometimes it feels like I've found a new sort of freedom from all my anxiety.

So what do you think about being a Loner? Is it a bad thing? or is it a good thing for you?
 

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The baddest in the game
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I enjoy seeing how you think being a loner is a good thing, I alway love hearing people putting positive spins on things. I have often wished I liked being a loner, I do sometimes like being a loner, but at times I see people with friends and it makes me wish I had the same thing they had. Even seeing people who have like one best friend is something I would like very much. All things considered being a loner is for me a mixed blessing, having friends can seem stressful at times but also it looks kind of nice having someone to break the silence with.
 

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Leben ist verrückt!!!!
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I enjoy seeing how you think being a loner is a good thing, I alway love hearing people putting positive spins on things. I have often wished I liked being a loner, I do sometimes like being a loner, but at times I see people with friends and it makes me wish I had the same thing they had. Even seeing people who have like one best friend is something I would like very much. All things considered being a loner is for me a mixed blessing, having friends can seem stressful at times but also it looks kind of nice having someone to break the silence with.
Yeah, I agree. I try to stay positive about this situation, but it still would be nice to have a real friend I can talk to. :)
 

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I'm in the same boat. I'm in my second week of being a junior in college and feels like I have met no one. I go eat in the cafeteria alone. I go to class alone and I basically do everything alone. Do I want to be alone? Yea, sometimes because people really do get on my nerves and I also expect way too much out of the human race. But I don't want to ber alone forever. Today I talked to these girls after class and asked what was going on this weekend. They looked at me like I was an alien or maybe It was how I perceived it. They told me they didn't know and to keep asking. Wow. Creating relationships with people is the hardest ****ing thing to do. And it only gets harder as we get older. Do I want a lot of friends? no not really,but a few real ones would be nice. Would just about do anything for a girlfriend, but that almost seems near impossible. The sad thing is that I have a really good personality I just can't open up right away until I know someone that I can trust. FML
 

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Leben ist verrückt!!!!
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I'm in the same boat. I'm in my second week of being a junior in college and feels like I have met no one. I go eat in the cafeteria alone. I go to class alone and I basically do everything alone. Do I want to be alone? Yea, sometimes because people really do get on my nerves and I also expect way too much out of the human race. But I don't want to ber alone forever. Today I talked to these girls after class and asked what was going on this weekend. They looked at me like I was an alien or maybe It was how I perceived it. They told me they didn't know and to keep asking. Wow. Creating relationships with people is the hardest ****ing thing to do. And it only gets harder as we get older. Do I want a lot of friends? no not really,but a few real ones would be nice. Would just about do anything for a girlfriend, but that almost seems near impossible. The sad thing is that I have a really good personality I just can't open up right away until I know someone that I can trust. FML
Yeah, I can relate. trying to befriend people can be a pain in the ***.
 

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i don't think being a loner is bad but i do think social anxiety is bad. i would like to be the type of loner who can interact with people when the situation calls for it and doesn't have low self confidence and is capable of finding relationships with the opposite sex when he wants to.

instead being the type of loner who feels socially inept, i feel like i "should" be out socializing. not because society says you have to be social, but for practse and exposure since i doubt things will improve much staying alone.
 

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All things considered being a loner is for me a mixed blessing, having friends can seem stressful at times but also it looks kind of nice having someone to break the silence with.
I had an overly long comment written out but this sums it up nicely. I feel like it's a mixed blessing, and I'm not sure accepting total loner status really helps us SAers. Maybe it masks the problem, but the issues will still be there if you're upset and your acceptance breaks down.

Idk, I'm not sure what I'm trying to say.
 

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I've been at college for 4 years now and ive made a lot of friends but i felt like half the ones i made just used me for some reason. :\
I hate seeing people that are groups of friends or those best friends because i cant have that, although, i dont always want it. I noticed today that i sit alone in the cafe, and i talked to one of my friends while i was getting food about how i stopped smoking and he just said "Oh too bad, you were cool" so i guess that friendship is over.
I see people sitting alone and i want to sit next to them, i just dont know how to approach them without being creepy.
I don't know, i've spent half my life alone since im an only child and i've gotten used to it, i just wish i could find someone to eat with or at least to sit around with and talk.
 

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I remember the feeling of going to school and sitting on my own feeling very alone and everyone else seemed to have someone to talk to.
But over the years I have learnt to enjoy my own company and have many hobbies that keep me busy (plus kids lol).
I have just one friend I see once a week for coffee. It would be nice to have more friends but I have sort of come to the realisation that it isn't going to happen unless I change and I really cant be bothered.
 

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Being a loner is a mixed blessing. I like the independence and the fact that I don't always need feedback from other people to feel good about myself. I don't like the fact that it makes me seem unfriendly and uninterested in people.
 

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I have a lot of acquaintances but not many friends that I hang out with outside work. I hate the idea of it. I want my work life and personal life to remain separate.

However, it does get very lonely sometimes and that part, I hate. I think I would just like to have more people care about me even if we don't hang out all the time.

Generally, I like coming home from work immediately, maybe call someone on the phone, watch tv, read, or play on the computer. That's usually enough for me. My dad constantly told me in high school I needed to get out more but the thought made me so nervous I felt like I would pass out. I never felt like I belonged anywhere and I was awkward. So, now that I can do my own thing (which is stay in) I feel better about myself. I like it...mostly.

I felt a rush of excitement having been able to go away to University and wanted to start a new life so I tried to meet new friends and I found some that I liked. For a while there I guess I couldn't be described as a 'loner'. We clicked and I felt comfortable around them. I felt that I was starting to become more outgoing and was excited by the prospect. I embraced the idea of pushing the loner-lifestyle aside. Apparently I was trying too hard because these 'friends' started to phase me out and planning events without inviting me. I'm not an idiot and it didn't take me long to discover that they thought I was too 'clingy'. I couldn't help it, I cling to people I like and push everyone else away. Those friends (a few in particular) meant a lot to me and for them to get rid of me like that...its one of the most hurtful things I've had to experience. I don't understand why they didn't just talk to me and give me chance instead of cutting me out.

I don't want to ever go through that again and I think of that sometimes when I'm lonely. I'd rather avoid the situation then feel that again...I know it's not healthy.
 

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If you like being alone then it is good. If you don't like being alone but feel too anxious to talk to others it is bad. In terms of what other people think, I think being a loner might win you some respect (for being independent) but not many friends. Sitting alone if the caf in college is no big deal. If someone comes up to you and starts talking and you say 'I have no friends" it probably won't go over too well.
 

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If you like being alone then it is good. If you don't like being alone but feel too anxious to talk to others it is bad. In terms of what other people think, I think being a loner might win you some respect (for being independent) but not many friends. Sitting alone if the caf in college is no big deal. If someone comes up to you and starts talking and you say 'I have no friends" it probably won't go over too well.
This.

Being alone is what I'm used to. But i don't like it, its not the talking to people thing it's just having real friends. The only real friends I know were from my first high school but they're all doing their own things now.

I've almost forgotten how to make friends as messed up as it sounds. I've gone through phases of just having no one that Im pretty much used to it. I can't get past the point of acquaintance to being a rock solid friend. I don't like it but I just am so used to being alone that I resort to it as a default.

My own inner thinking seems to not want to delve deeper to form rock solid mates possibly because I don't see the point as I'm expecting rejection. I think also because i'm not actively keen on socialising (sa) i'm not one to contact mates and do stuff that friends do like BBQ, picnics, weekends away. I wouldn't know the half of how that sort of stuff works.

I'm too analytical really. Focus on the how and why till it becomes a waste of time.
 

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If someone comes up to you and starts talking and you say 'I have no friends" it probably won't go over too well.
I think one would have a different response if they didn't say "I have no friends" but rather said, "I'm a loner." The first statement might infer that there is something wrong with you, while the second implies that you "chose" to be alone. Which can bring a certain awe and mystique to you.

I like being a loner most of the time. I enjoy my own company and doing my own thing. If I want to talk about something I can always come on the forums and discuss it and get it out of my system, or talk to my therapist about it. Other than that, I don't crave much social interaction.

The only downside is, I can't make friends if I "wanted" to.
 
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