[lonestarTO]

I'm a 35 year old man, I remember thinking when I was 20 that if I don't have a significant other by this age, I should just give up on life. If I had been in relationships in the past that didn't work out I would be satisfied in knowing it was possible.
Here I am 15 years later and I've never even been close. Its not about sex, I've had meaningless encounters, its about companionship.
Clearly I have been the obstacle, in better times and in horrible times such as now.
I can handle the difficulties with work (currently not workin), family etc....I'm just struggling finding reasons to keep going and enduring the pain without having someone. All the evidence I've seen points to a life alone... This absolutely sucks

 

[dismiss]

Oh, come on... There is always hope.

What have you tried so far? Have you picked up a hobby outside of work... Tried dating site... Made eye contact and smiled while shopping/running errands...


I need to get back up on the horse again too... So, I bit the bullet and bought a digital camera, I can post pics to dating sites... again.
Please don't give up... I have been struggling to meet single men in their 30's/40's for years now.
Roughest time in my life as far as meeting people... Was easy in my 20's... Not anymore...& I even get guessed at 10 or more years younger than my age!
So, don't be just one more inaccessible guy... I know there are other women my age that are looking too.

 

[awkwardsilent]

There is always hope, yeah obviously we're not in ideal places in our lives or we wouldn't be here venting.

There are tones of single women in their 30's , if its important to you you'll eventually find someone you connect with. It just takes time, don't give up on life. I know its tempting to give into that feeling I think we ALL get there if you are single and no longer young, heck I know people in their 20's who feel that way.

 

[dmp78]

I'm the same boat as you OP - pretty much zero action in the dating department for a long time now. And more times than not, I've pretty much felt that this is just the way its going to be and that's that. But I do have a sliver of hope still. With me, I just try to keep convincing myself (and it hasn't been easy) that I need to take the initiative and change myself. I've spent a long time in the shackles of SA/depression/etc, and at this point it's clear that nothing will change unless I make it change, regardless of any past failed attempts - of which I have many.

Now, having said all that, I'm still in the same boat and its still hard to keep a hopeful frame of mind long enough to make any of these changes. But I haven't thrown in the towel just yet. After all, this is the only life I'll get.

Good luck man.

 

[lonestarTO]

I appreciate all your caring responses, frankly that's what I would tell someone else in my situation. Having been dealing with SA for so long I know I need to keep trying different activities and remain accessible, giving up definitely won't help.
I suppose I have to try to leave the pain of the past behind when I expose myself to social situations (which is extremely difficult).
Thank you all for making me feel a little less alone.

 

[Carpentrov]

Don't give up hope. You only get one chance at life. Getyourself out there.

 

[Mongoose]

I'm in the same boat, though I've never even been on a date. I've given up on life. It seems all the good ones are married, but even if that weren't true, none of them will go out with someone like me. You can at least stretch the truth by saying you've been in short-term relationships.