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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
3AM when you feel completely alone is the best time for poetry, I find. I wrote these a while ago but I'm retyping them in the hopes they'll help me out of a creative rut I'm in.

Yes, they are marvellously pretentious and teenagery!

In So Many Words.
Feel the ache behind your eyes and
Feel your agitation rise and
Hide and steal and twist and turn it
Tear it up and salt and burn it
Hide beneath the covers tight and
Keep the lights on through the night and
Silver shivers down your spine
Golden stars inside your mind
Hot and cold and up and down and
No one sleeps inside my town and
Move away from all you know
Rest upon your all-time-low
Records set you can't achieve and
Subconscious love worn on your sleeve and
No one sleeping beside me
Where do all your nightmares flee?
Mind in circles round and round and
No one sleeps inside my town and
Move away from all you know
Rest upon your all-time-low
Raise it up and bring me down and
No one sleeps inside my town and
Moved away from all I know
I'm resting on my all-time-low


brown paper notebooks
too much interference
a static contradiction through my fingers
want more peace want more noise
I want you here
I don't remember when you appeared
don't know why or what I'm feeling but want you to feel it too
want something new
I want the same bring the change and bring the old and bring it together
bring it forever
you can't hear it like I do
feel the way it thinks through you
can you tell me can you say that you don't know how this is living
how this is breathing this is wrong and this is right hold it sacred lock it tight
intertwine the words you write
static contradiction through your fingers
mind to hand to pen to page
sing your sorrow write your rage
all the wisdom of your age
static contradiction through our fingers
(when did you appear?)


Hooray, ridiculous linebreaks!

I suppose they make more sense when one is sleep-deprived...

EDIT: Hey, and while we're on the subject, if anyone can inspire me at the moment I'd be thrilled. The only word I have in my mind currently is 'dirigible'. Which is not exactly easy to poeterize about.
 

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Haha, but pretentious and teenagery is so cathartic. No shame in that.

I really like your rhythm in the first one. It reads very well!
 

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I think they are really awsome.. I didn't really get the second one but I really, really love the first one.. These are beautiful.... I love peotry but I could never write something so beautiful or as meaningful as this..
 

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The first one evokes the tireness and desperate, weary frustration of insomnia really well. The "subconcious love worn on trhe sleeve" strikes a bit of a chord with me, because sometimes my emotions show on my face without me ewanting them to, or realising... I found it a bit jarring, how that line spoiled your meter slightly, and yet I rally like the change in rythm of the next line, it seems very appropriate there.

EDIT: Hey, and while we're on the subject, if anyone can inspire me at the moment I'd be thrilled. The only word I have in my mind currently is 'dirigible'. Which is not exactly easy to poeterize about.
Hmm. dirigible, 1. (adjective), able to be set in motion, specificly in regard to motion 2. (noun) a dirigible baloon or airship.

I thought it was some sort of glass vessel. Might it be a vitreous dirigible, almost invisible, signally squidgable? I dunno about inspiration, I'm just throwing words around...
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks guys :)

I didn't really get the second one but I really, really love the first one.. These are beautiful.... I love peotry but I could never write something so beautiful or as meaningful as this
Haha, I've actually forgotten a lot of what I meant in the second one...I know what bits and bats of it mean to me, but a lot of it was written when I was very tired and letting my hands do the writing while my brain slept. It does make sense to me but it's not really supposed to that much to anyone else.

And have you ever tried writing poetry? You never know! What I like to do when I feel like writing is I just begin with typing a stream-of-conciousness sort of thing, writing whatever comes to mind even if it's just like 'hey so i'm here typing because i cant think of what to write in a poem and the cat is making noise outside the back door and i actually really want to eat some scrambled eggs'. Eventually I get a line that sparks off a poem idea and from there it just kind of works itself out. But you shouldn't dismiss your poetry skills until you try!
 
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