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horserider
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am a 16 year old girl whose life has become a living hell due to what I think is BDD. I've had feelings of disgust about my appearance since I was 13, even though I have been told again and again how beautiful I am. I almost feel like I am living a double life, as I am beautiful in certain lighting; where my undereye bags are hidden. I used to obsess about my undereye puffiness hours each day. I would avoid certain lighting conditions, not leave my house without sunglasses, and not go to any parties where I knew the lightning would make me look hideous. I also avoided summer camps and other trips because I knew people would be able to see my true ugliness. I researched undereye products endlessly, and spent all my allowance on these products, but nothing worked and I still felt hideous. Then this year, everything changed. I began to get pimples on my forehead and temples about 3 months ago, and ever since I have been breaking out. The thousands of small bumps along my hairline and my temples make me sick to the stomach. I can't look in the mirror anymore without breaking down, and I haven't left my house for 3 weeks (aside from school). The pain of seeing my once-perfect skin now filled with pimples is unbearable. I wish my skin could go back to normal, and I realize how much better off I was with just my eye bags. I feel like I am living inside this hideous monster. I spend hours applying products to my skin, researching about acne, picking at it with tweezers, finding dermatologists and just sobbing and breaking down emotionally. I feel like my life has become this nightmare, and I just want to go back to how I used to be (even though at the time I still hated myself). I'm just wondering if anyone is going through similar situation and has any advice? Or if this truly is BDD or something different? I feel so isolated and this condition is truly ruining my life.
 
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