[buggy]

Hey guys, was wondering if anyone here was maybe diagnosed with AvPD / suspecting they have it on their own? I've gotten the diagnosis and can definitely relate to a lot of the markers and behaviors that accompany it. Especially just being scared all the time with almost everyone and leading what feels like a totally secluded life and just feeling so vulnerable all the time. Maybe a bit vague, but I definitely notice these traits. Anyone else diagnosed / suspecting they have it? How do you feel you suffer / what does it mean for you to be avpd? Anything you found that helped you cope better or improve?

 

[andy1984]

sort of suspect i am in the same ballpark. no diagnosis though. not tried to get one. i prefer to think i have more schizoid personality traits, but that may just be because schizoid is edgier lol. i mean who wants to see themselves as having AvPD, basically running away constantly, etc etc. i don't feel really vulnerable all the time, but i do feel completely separated from everyone, and my boundaries are constantly under attack. idk if i'm cut off from my feelings or if i cut them off by avoiding. and idk if i feel separate because i created my own "otherness" or if i was separate so i created my own "otherness". so... what i am saying is did i adapt to AvPD or was i SzPD? or even autistic spectrum, but i think i think that because other people think that, and that's just because they don't know AvPD or SzPD. my biggest problem atm is avolition. i just don't really feel like doing anything. but its also just a socially constructed problem since i don't really need to do anything? i'm close to being NEET again, but it feels pretty good tbh. i struggle with allowing myself to feel good when its not meant to be good as seen by "society" etc.


anywho, the things that have helped me are my values, philosophy, and tao te ching. and of course having a friend. when i don't have a friend things get pretty bleak.

 

[either/or]

I've never been diagnosed though I'm certain this is a central part of my psyche. I'm extremely avoidant and spend overwhelming amounts of time alone. I constantly try to wiggle myself out of any kind of social engagement I am faced with.

 

[Persephone The Dread]

I've only been diagnosed with social phobia and selective mutism at different points in my life.

I have so many different traits from several disorders lol... narcissistic traits, psychopathic traits, schizoid traits, possibly AvPD but I think it leans more towards schizoid because I spend a lot of time comparing my emotional reactions to others and feeling broken for not having the same depth of emotion in regards to relationships (I also relate to older classifications of schizoid pre-dsm which are slightly different.) I wouldn't say I'm 100% schizoid though, but it depends where the line is drawn I guess and how much definitions are based on external observation. Also autistic and ADHD traits.

Undiagnosed autism has been suggested by a few people though and does seem likely based on everything I've seen (would also explain the gender dysphoria/atypical sexuality since that's common for autistic people as well.) Must be close to the threshold anyway. Something besides just basic social anxiety is definitely going on.

 

[Myosr]

I remember reading a lot about AvPD some years ago. I disliked the term SAD because it seemed to include too many "functional" people and wanted to find a term for something more long term and debilitating.

I think the impression I got that it wasn't really well defined or researched, so I stopped thinking about it much even though I probably have it since my anxiety is persistent (I think a lot of people on this forum also may have it).

I remember in one book or paper it was called "the neglected personality disorder", but can't find now which one. This paper does say it's neglected in research though:

Empirical evidence for cognitive-behavior and schema therapy is promising. Few other therapeutic approaches have been developed, but until now, these have only been investigated in case studies. We conclude that AVPD qualifies as a neglected disorder and that more research specifically on avoidant personality disorder symptoms and its treatment is needed.

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11920-016-0665-6

I remember this idea used to offend me, and I was really invested in proving to myself that I had a "personality disorder" and not just a "mental health issue", since these two things are really quite different imo.

I don't care that much now though. I can say extreme SA or AvPD, doesn't really make much of a difference if the other person understands it makes me dysfunctional and is kind of a lifetime sentence.

 

[Blue Dino]

Pretty sure I have it to a degree at least, with the way I was raised growing up. Endless criticism and shaming even when often times when it's unwarranted. My brother I think also had it so a much lesser degree, which he was often coined as being lazy. My sister had no sign of it on the other hand. So to be fair in this case, I probably can't really blame anyone much for it but myself. As an adult, this has gotten better and worse, better again, worse again. Flip flop. I have to work hard to gradually come out of it, but it will take just a small nudge or trigger to set me all back again. If it weren't for that, I likely would've been much farther ahead in life.

 

[Cool Ice Dude55]

Never been to a psychiatrist, but I definitely relate to the traits of AvPd.

 

[truant]

Don't think I have a personality disorder, though I have symptoms from several of them.

AvPD:

Those affected display a pattern of severe social anxiety, social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation and rejection, and avoidance of social interaction despite a strong desire for intimacy.

People with AvPD often consider themselves to be socially inept or personally unappealing and avoid social interaction for fear of being ridiculed, humiliated, rejected, or disliked. They often avoid becoming involved with others unless they are certain they will be liked.

I can relate to "avoidance of social interaction despite a strong desire for intimacy" and "consider themselves ... personally unappealing." But I don't feel inadequate or inferior, I'm not extremely sensitive to negative evaluation or rejection, I'm not particularly socially inept, and I don't really care that much if people reject me or dislike me. What I'm afraid of is any kind of physical violence or any threat to my life or livelihood.

 

[zkv]

Symptoms from the first page I found (I'm lazy):

-A need to be well-liked. If this is, as opposed to be judged negatively, then it applies big time.
-Anhedonia (lack of pleasure in activities). This has happened to me a lot in the past. Near past, too.
-Anxiety about saying or doing the wrong thing. Definitely.
-Anxiety in social situations. lol
-Avoiding conflict (being a "people-pleaser"). I don't think I'm a people-pleaser, and I cause conflict more often than not, but I don't like it.
-Avoiding interaction in work settings or turning down promotions. I've avoided interacting with the people that surrounded me at work in the past, a lot. I don't think I'd turn down a promotion though.
-Avoiding intimate relationships or sharing intimate feelings. Let's just say I freeze up a lot.
-Avoiding making decisions. Oh, yes.
-Avoiding situations due to fear of rejection. Yes.
-Avoiding social situations or events. Yes
-Easily hurt by criticism or disapproval. It tears me apart.
-Extreme self-consciousness. Can be pretty extreme.
-Failure to initiate social contact. Yup.
-Fearful and tense demeanor. It used to be pretty bad. Now it's a lot less frequent.
-Feelings of inadequacy. Yes.
-Hypersensitivity to negative evaluation. Are these just repeating now?
-Lack of assertiveness. I'm pretty meek for the most part.
-Lack of trust in others. Somewhat. Used to be worse.
-Low self-esteem. Sometimes. Used to be worse.
-Misinterpreting neutral situations as negative. Used to be worse but still happens sometimes.
-No close friends/lacking a social network. No friends at all.
-Self-isolation. I stayed away from my family even for years. Not anymore, and my current isolation stems mostly from lack of opportunity.
-Social inhibition. Yes.
-Unwilling to take risks or try new things. I've done this all my life, and still do to some extent.
-Viewing oneself as socially inept or inferior. That's being pretty objective, to be honest.
-Vigilant for signs of disapproval or rejection. All. The. Time.


Damn it, now I also have this. :lol In all seriousness though, several personality disorders seem to more or less apply to me. These divisions, man...

 

[Sainnot]

I don’t think the term personality “disorder” even makes sense. There is no biology of a personality and so how can you say that there is a malady since it can never be located? I have similar traits to avpd but I don’t have any disorder, I just have my personality and I’m trying to change it.

 

[Saeta]

I don’t think the term personality “disorder” even makes sense. There is no biology of a personality and so how can you say that there is a malady since it can never be located?

You can observe certain behaviors and patterns. If you know multiple people with borderline personality disorder, you will have noticed they have quite a bit in common. It's pretty scientific.
As for the term itself, is it not true that certain patterns of personality make it needlessly difficult for some to relate to the world around them and that causes them to be unhappy? That's all it takes.

 

[truant]

I don’t think the term personality “disorder” even makes sense. There is no biology of a personality and so how can you say that there is a malady since it can never be located? I have similar traits to avpd but I don’t have any disorder, I just have my personality and I’m trying to change it.

Personality is an activity or process, not a thing. Just like running and talking are processes, not things. Your personality is how you respond to things. Personality is represented at the level of biology in neural pathways and neurochemical response; ie. habitual patterns of synaptic firing.

Personality disorders represent neural pathways and neurochemical responses which lead to behaviors which are considered maladaptive from a cultural perspective.

Because humans have a limited number of possible responses to experiences, you tend to see certain kinds of patterns recurring. Two people with similar patterns have the same "personality type."

Two people who share a pattern of avoiding contact with other people because such contact distresses them, and who do so to such a degree that it has a negative impact on the quality of their lives, share a personality disorder called Avoidant Personality Disorder. (The difference between AvPD and SAD boils down to how early it set in and how pervasive it is.)

If you do not feel that your behavior has a significant negative impact on the quality of your life, and other people do not feel that it significantly negatively impacts the quality of their lives (eg. Antisocial Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder), then you will not be diagnosed with a disorder. "Disorder" is reserved for patterns of behavior that cause distress.

I think most personality disorders can probably be traced back to a bad combination of innate temperament and inadequate/inappropriate parenting (ie. attachment issues).

 

[Not Human]

I always thought I had a severe social anxiety. Then I read more about Avoidant personality disorder and could relate to most things attributed to it. It affects every single thing in my life.

 

[Saeta]

Every time I see something about AVPD, the definition is completely different. Sometimes it's basically chronic, generalized social anxiety, sometimes it's just bad self-esteem preventing you from committing to relationships regardless of whether you have anxiety or not.
If I had to diagnose myself, I relate more to AVPD than to SAD. I can talk to strangers and talk in public with very little trouble, but I have most of the feelings associated with AVPD. But then AVPD is supposed to be more debilitating than SAD.

 

[dinosaurparty]

I guess I have both AVPD and SA. All the years of bad experiences around other people made me a very avoidant person. I wasn't always like that but after failing so much in social situations I became that way.