Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
3 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Asking out another SA'er

I think I might have discovered a girl in one of my classes that seems to have SA. Perhaps I'm wrong, or maybe she is just very shy. One of my friends confirmed to me that she seems extremely shy in his classes as well. It is incredible for me to see such a thing in person. I've never kept an eye out for people like myself, as I always used to think that I'm the only one with my problem. Indeed, it seems that many people with the more extreme cases of SA don't even go to school, so actually it's rare for me to encounter them.

Back to the girl... I initially had somewhat of a crush on her and predictably that made things worse for me and more awkward. I couldn't even make eye contact with her when passing by. I think I passed up on several opportunities that I've had to talk to her and might have seemed very stuck up or snoody. Often, I will converse with others in my class, but never have I spoken with her. The reason being that there's extra pressure on me to talk with her, as I already like her and she herself seems very reluctant to talk to anyone. Ever since realizing that she suffers from some sort of "shyness" anxiety, I'm completely mesmerized by the prospect of talking to someone like me in person. I'd be happy if I just became regular old friends with her. My personal anxiety reaches critical mass when I'm around girls, especially the pretty ones. I know that I am fairly handsome and funny, but I tend to stumble and bumble (a LOT) when I'm around the opposite sex. Any advice on what to do?

I wonder if she realizes that I am very shy myself...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
374 Posts
I'm sure she knows you are shy. you can't hide it. I think you need to talk to this girl. Even if it doesn't go beyond a single conversation, I think you'll feel good about yourself for making the effort. A lot of shy people can feel very lonely, I know I do, and just having someone initiate a converation, even if its just a hello, can have a huge effect on someone, it can change their whole day. Sometimes someone saying a quick, "hey what's up?" to me, changes my whole outlook on life and completely reverses my mood.

but back to this girl, I agree its real hard to make conversation with a shy girl like this. Personally, I'm not attracted to shy girls at all, I don't know why..but since you seem to be, just show some interest and start talking to her! if she is shy, she probably doesn't have anyone else to talk to, and would very much appreciate the conversation!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I much prefer sweet, shy girls than loud mouth obnoxious girls. (That's not to say these types of people are bad people. Everyone has different personality types and I accept that).

You are definitely right about just saying hello making the day for some people. I know if I have a conversation with a pretty girl that lasts just 10 seconds than my day is made, but if something goes wrong than I'll just clam up and everything will be much worse next time around. Anyway, I feel really bad for this girl, as it appears she is even more shy than me which is just jaw-dropping to me. I really need to take action soon. There are so few classes left, as the class only meets twice a week and the semester is quickly coming to a close.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I'm sure she knows you are shy. you can't hide it.
I much rather she think that as opposed to thinking that I'm some jerk that has no interest at all in her (which is obviously not the case). I think it would certainly come off that way to many people considering the way I ignore her. Even I feel like a jerk when I ignore her. No thinking what she thinks of me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
374 Posts
don't let the pressure build up and don't go crazy with this, if its hard for you! do it tomarrow, if you wait too long I think it will not be as easy..

let me tell you something awful that happened to me. There was this girl who showed interest in me back in 10th grade, and for a few months we talked online. And our online conversations good and she was clearly wanting me to ask her out or something. For at a full 2 years, I tried to take that first step of saying hi to her, and I could never do it!! she tried to say hi to me like 5 times, and everytime I mumbled a hello and walked away!! I was crazy about her, and thought of her all the time, and practiced saying her name to myself and obsessed trying to work up the courage to go up to her locker, which was near mine, and say hello, and i never did...it was very awkward having talked quite a bit online, but being unable to say anything ever to her in person, even as I saw her everyday on the bus going to school.
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top