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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Im trying to decide whether or no to go to a family dinner but I am very ashamed to be around them.

My Question is should i see them and how can i deal with these feelings given the following:

I like being around my father and sister but My percieved self worth compared to them makes me not want to be around them.

My father is a lawyer with a 6 figure salary and 11 years post graduate education and my big sister is a lab tech soon to be married, and very smart & independent. I however am very slow compared. I am a Part time minimum wage worker with no skills or experience and at 24 years old I still smoke pot and sit around all day. I hardly made it through high schoool (took 6 years instead of 3) and i seem to repel the people around me.

I never had much contact with my father as a child and growing up with my sister was one long fight over the foolish things i did when i was young. we keep things civil now but i still think she would rather not see me.

I try to be objective about these things but whenever I see them ( esp. sister) I am plagued by shame, guilt jealousy and a sense of resentment they do not deserve. Now I fear these feelings will rob me of being able to enjoy the rare occasion that i do see them.

Any input or advice would be very much appreciated.
 
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