I can be lazy but currently I just unable to bring myself to face the social aspect of any errands I have so I try to avoid them like the plague. Even when I was working I just buried myself in the work so that I could again avoid much of the social interaction that goes with it. In both cases it's the extreme for me, working & helping others out makes me feel great if it weren't for me fear of being social then I have no problem doing my share
Up until the last few threads I've read, I didn't even consider my inability to get a job a characteristic of SA. I'm not lazy, but unable to deal with the social interactions that go along with getting and holding down a job. Would a therapist or psychologist understand this and be able to help me?
I don't do much that is constructive - because somehow my brain reacts to even the most mundane tasks as major stresses. Sometimes, I can literally feel my brain spinning with an overwhelmed, stressed, "dizzy" feeling as I'm trying to, say, complete my daily "wash up" routine. So yes, my inactivity makes me appear quite "lazy" to someone who doesn't understand what I deal with mentally. It's like my brain is "fried", or I am suffering from the effects of post-traumatic stress disorder - where my brain overproduces stress chemicals with even the small, mundane demands of life.
Just an example of how people can throw that "lazy" label on me: I remember having a horrible time in my AP English class my senior year of h.s. - I hardly ever completed the reading assignments, I often didn't get my work in on time, etc. (I just had the hardest time concentrating when it came time to trying to read the books, plays, etc. It got pretty miserable at times.). It was embarrassing to me - and a bit of a shock to some of my classmates - because I had been a top student in an AP History class the previous year. One day, a classmate made a catty remark about how I had impressed them the year before - only for them to find out that I was "the laziest person around". Little did she and the others understand (heck, even I didn't totally understand it at the time) - that I was dealing with "brain issues" that they didn't have to even concern themselves with. Because my brain was bombarded with massive, severe anxiety - and I had had a particularly stressful, traumatic experience the summer before my senior year of h.s. - my brain was in a "burned out", "post-traumatic" state that worsened concentration problems and affected my schoolwork. My brain was a cluttered mess, and only got worse from there.