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i'm starting to realise lately how bad I am at this, I think I have always known I have judged what is appropriate and what isn't badly, I think I just have some deficit here rather than being rude or arrogant. I have historically often said thanks at inappropriate times, like when the other person maybe didn't say sorry, making myself seem like a total fool, I honestly facepalm at these things when I realise what I have done. I think in britain it's more normal than in other countries to say sorry a lot? I am not sure how it is in north america? but I suspect I would do better if I replaced some other social etiquette word with sorry if it seems more customary? obviously if I have done something objectively bad I will feel sorry and want to express that but sometimes that doesn't always come out right.

on the subject of objective vs subjective and being in the wrong I have actually been wondering if apologizing when we don't need to actually causes more awkwardness for other people and makes them uncomfortable? because this might lead to other people thinking oh no! maybe I am bad for not apologizing too? sort of like we are inducing a form of unnecessary stress ,worry and awkwardness in other people? hmmm
 

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Of course if it's something unimportant then I'll say sorry all the time - we do that here for everything. Like if someone stands on your toe on the tram we always assume it's our fault and apologise. It's a cultural thing - we're pretty much sorry all the time. :um
I think those situations are often difficult for everyone to judge though right? like sudden accident situations where a person bumps into another the automatic reaction for everyone is to say sorry because in that small window of time we have to say something we can't always piece together the whole situation in an accurate way to see who was in the wrong and translate that into the appropriate response? so its easier to just say sorry as a default automatic response, as this way a person safeguards against being rude regardless?
 
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