[Someone Is Here]

Do you ever consider the possibility that your "negative" perception of yourself/the world isn't warped at all, but completely valid?

Put bluntly, maybe I don't suffer from an illness known as social phobia at all. Maybe I REALLY AM nothing more than an unattractive loser who has no social life, who should just commit suicide already and free the world of what amounts to a drain on resources which gives nothing back in return.

Pop psychology loves to think of self-confidence and belief in oneself in terms of positivity. But why? Believing than I am an ugly failure is surely just as philosophically valid as living in a fantasy world and believing that I am awesome.

 

[Globe_Trekker]

Oh, most definitely! I know for a fact that people don't like me...no doubt about it. There's nothing 'warped' about my perception of the world. People hate me and would rather I disappear completely (preferably by means of suicide). No doubt at all!

 

[TeenyBeany]

hm... you ARE attractive to someone which would make your theory invalid... there is no ONE person on the fact of this earth SO ugly that no one would love them.

marked as you having a bad day

 

[kos]

I sometimes think the rest of the world is ill and they are the ones with problems. I think the planet and the universe would be much better off if human beings were just eliminated. I think the main mistake all mass murders have made throughout the history of time is that they didn't just kill everybody.

 

[Gotanonymous]

It's neither.. You don't have an "illness" just as you aren't someone with no social potential. I've seen plenty of ugly people succeed socially. Or more, I don't see them anymore, because they are off succeeding -_-;

But you pose a very good idea.. Maybe not everyone here really has social anxiety, but we are just not very socially skilled. Before coming to this forum, I had almost completely relieved myself of any anxiety about social situations (except for rare occasions). Now? I'm a little anxious about going to work.. I'm afraid that, whereas before I thought of myself as just not opening up to anyone there, now I'm the one everyone refers to as weird, like there's something wrong with me.

 

[Someone Is Here]

hm... you ARE attractive to someone which would make your theory invalid...

Most likely someone who I don't find attractive, or in the best case scenario, someone who I may find attractive but is already in a relationship (judging by how my life has transpired thus far). Which sort of lands me back at square uno.

 

[Some Russian Guy]

Oh, most definitely! I know for a fact that people don't like me...no doubt about it. There's nothing 'warped' about my perception of the world. People hate me and would rather I disappear completely (preferably by means of suicide). No doubt at all!

That's exactly what I feel.
I feel as though society wants to get rid of me, an unwanted element, by making me kill myself.
Just like a body gets rid of germs in the bloodstream using immune system.
I think that when THEY ridicule us, and make fun of us, and bully us in high school...
it actually is a societal immune system in action... that's what I think

I think it is because we are too individualistic for THEM.
THEY, on the other hand, have sort of a hive mind which like enables them to think and do things in unison... but since we think differently, we pose threat for the survival of the system, and the system want's us dead, period, end of story...

 

[SoloSage]

I think the problem is one of: why should you care what others think? What does someone else's opinion really mean? Is their opinion a fact? No, it's an opinion and should be treated as such. SA is, imo, an issue of taking others "opinions" far too seriously.

 

[kos]

I think the problem is one of: why should you care what others think? What does someone else's opinion really mean? Is their opinion a fact? No, it's an opinion and should be treated as such. SA is, imo, an issue of taking others "opinions" far too seriously.

but there is little you can do to stop that train of thought.

 

[SoloSage]

but there is little you can do to stop that train of thought.

Sure, but it doesn't necessarily reflect the reality of the situation. The idea that "I should kill myself because I'm ugly" has no philosophical merit in my eyes. I myself am not the best looking guy in the world, but I've seen people far worse than me enjoying their lives far more than I am.

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious - Brendan Gill.

*Just to add, there is much you can do to change that train of thought - we're humans and have the capacity to adapt. I've personally made large strides in overcoming my anxiety.

 

[kos]

Sure, but it doesn't necessarily reflect the reality of the situation. The idea that "I should kill myself because I'm ugly" has no philosophical merit in my eyes. I myself am not the best looking guy in the world, but I've seen people far worse than me enjoying their lives far more than I am.

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious - Brendan Gill.

but doesn't your brain and senses determine what your preception of reality is?

 

[Someone Is Here]

The idea that "I should kill myself because I'm ugly" has no philosophical merit in my eyes.

With respect, that's a slight oversimplification of how I view myself and my situation.

I never said good looks were the be all and end all of happiness, period. I've seen my share of ugly guys with great looking women, and enjoying a great life in general.

But I don't see what any of this has to do with me, or where I'm at. I'm not in competition with anyone, and by that logic I'm not going to start assuming that I can be happy just because someone "worse off" than me is. Happiness is relative and subjective.

 

[SoloSage]

but doesn't your brain and senses determine what your preception of reality is?

But that is our 'perception' of reality, not a true reflection of what reality is. Ever wondered how some people can just handle insults all the time? Their perception is slightly different to ours, therefore they can handle such abuse. I acknowledge that there is a set reality out there; the way I choose to see that reality is up to me. There are the cold, hard facts out there, and one of them says: There is not a shred of evidence in favor of the idea that life is serious.

 

[Some Russian Guy]

girls don't value physical attractiveness as men do
they like money and men who are willing to spend it on them

 

[Someone Is Here]

I suppose the point I'm trying to make here is that there has been so far zero evidence in my whole life which would suggest that my 'negative' opinion of myself is 'flawed'.

Therefore, looking on the bright side and staying positive feels a bit like polishing a turd; a constructive exercise, but ultimately a futile one.

 

[Someone Is Here]

girls don't value physical attractiveness as men do

Yes, they do. But a girl who is willing to put aside political correctness and admit she can judge a man based on his appearance is very rare.

 

[SoloSage]

I suppose the point I'm trying to make here is that there has been so far zero evidence in my whole life which would suggest that my 'negative' opinion of myself is 'flawed'.

My opinion that I'm ugly or attractive can never be proven, as beauty is an abstract human concept not existing in reality. Your negative opinion of yourself is neither right nor wrong; it's merely for you to choose. Sometimes I'll say to myself, "God, I'm ugly," but at the same time, say "What does it matter?" I choose if I care or not. To to respond to your statement: "there has been so far zero evidence in my whole life which would suggest that my 'negative' opinion of myself is 'flawed'" I'd say, "There is zero evidence that evidence that my negative opinion of myself is right..."

There can't be evidence for such matters, as they opinions sculpted by society, which in reality aren't, and can never be, facts. But perhaps I'm getting too philosophical here and am treading on a dangerous road.

Therefore, looking on the bright side and staying positive feels a bit like polishing a turd; a constructive exercise, but ultimately a futile one.

And what evidence do you have that polishing a turd is futile - some people may very much enjoy that type of exercise (it's a matter of their opinion). And personally, I'm indifferent to a turd.

 

[SoloSage]

Yes, they do. But a girl who is willing to put aside political correctness and admit she can judge a man based on his appearance is very rare.

Well, there is an overwhelming amount of evidence that men value physical-attractiveness far more than women do (who are more attracted to mental and social power. The sexes look for different characteristics in each other.

 

[kos]

But that is our 'perception' of reality, not a true reflection of what reality is. Ever wondered how some people can just handle insults all the time? Their perception is slightly different to ours, therefore they can handle such abuse. I acknowledge that there is a set reality out there; the way I choose to see that reality is up to me. There are the cold, hard facts out there, and one of them says: There is not a shred of evidence in favor of the idea that life is serious.

then i guess that means that no one knows what reality is because we all see it differently so there can not be a certain, concrete "reality".

 

[Jeff]

Do you ever consider the possibility that your "negative" perception of yourself/the world isn't warped at all, but completely valid?

Put bluntly, maybe I don't suffer from an illness known as social phobia at all. Maybe I REALLY AM nothing more than an unattractive loser who has no social life, who should just commit suicide already and free the world of what amounts to a drain on resources which gives nothing back in return.

Pop psychology loves to think of self-confidence and belief in oneself in terms of positivity. But why? Believing than I am an ugly failure is surely just as philosophically valid as living in a fantasy world and believing that I am awesome.

Have you considered that you're just making excuses for yourself so that you don't have to actually go through the rigorous hard work required to overcome SA?? Sorry man, but I'm not going to hold your hand and tell you its ok, garbage like this is why I've stayed away from this website the last couple of years.