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pm5kbebop said:
I put my bed in the garage and slept on the floor for 3 years,because i felt like i didnt deserve a bed :con now i sleep on a futon that i hate,its worse than sleeping on the floor.i dunno i guess i feel like i dont deserve anything good.
I do smaller things than this. Like the other night I slept on the living room floor even though it was hard and painful .. but I've never done this for more than a few days at a time.

I've always done weird little things to cause myself periodic discomfort - or even sometimes more prolonged discomfort. When I was little I used to push things into my finger tips/under my finger nails until my fingers were sore (not like The Godfather or anything to leave a mark) - then when I was doing regular things my fingers would hurt and remind me that I was bad.
Now, if I wind up with a bruise or scratch from something it always goes through my head for a second that I deserved it.
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