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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've noticed that the only time I really ever get depressed are during the few times every blue moon that I go out and socialize, that or when I look at a friend's social networking site (facebook, thumblr etc)

When I'm alone and by myself away from people and outside distractions I'm at my happiest.

So I don't understand how I could ever overcome SA if social situations only bring me down, what would be the point?
 

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comfortably numb
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Same here, for me I don't think it's the social situation itself that brings about the sadness it's the recognition or sense that I'm not really a part of that world even though I'd like to be. The few times I've found myself out I've felt like an imposter or as though I was just borrowing somebody else's life knowing that at the end of the evening I'd have to give it back and may never experience anything like it again. It's almost as though I go through a period of mourning for a life that was born on the morning and died on the night.

Similarly when I see the friends and social lives that other people have it makes me acutely aware that I'm not normal and that I can't foresee a time when I will be.
 

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is trying.
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I do this. For me, it's part knowing it'll end (when I'm enjoying it), part knowing I don't belong with them, and part realization of time and aging and mortality. That moment will end and never come back. You'll never be in that place, in that configuration, in those circumstances ever again. That's true for every moment, of course, but it seems to strike harder home during the few times I'm out with people. For this reason, the ends of school years were especially hard.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
how can I overcome something when the goal I'm trying to reach (socializing) doesnt even make me happy?


My life is so confusing at the moment.
 

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comfortably numb
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I think that depends on whether the problem is that you feel sad or just don't feel happy and why those feelings or lack of feelings come about.

If you're like Addler and me and feel sad because you wish you had more of those experiences/don't feel like a real part of them then I suppose it's a case of us having to change our mindsets and believe that we do belong and can have that life. How we do that I don't know.

If it's the case that you just don't get anything out of those situations and feel bad because of that then maybe you need to accept that the way you enjoy living life is no less legitimate or worthy than the way "normal" people live theirs. You may need to consider the possibility that your goal of socializing more is the wrong goal for you.
 

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Yeah, I feel sad a lot of the time when I'm in social situations and for whatever reason I can't be social. It's like sometimes I feel comfortable and can talk like I want to (usually this isn't in new situations). But the vast majority of the time it's like I'm just there but not really there, I can't talk like I want to talk, I can't "be" like I want to be (which is...basically "social"), and it gets me sad because I think it's just that I'm being reminded that I can't talk when I WANT to talk. It is kind of a sad situation if you think about it, not being able to do something you want to... and being social is often such a strong human need.
 

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I get sad sometimes but most of the time I can't stay in the moment. I go into huge dazes and fantasies, that real life seems to just fade away.
 

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Skeletal wreck of man...
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I am depressed almost all of the time. but I do feel worse if I go to a gathering and I'm left standing on my own or if people are not interacting with me the way I hope they would.
 

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Whats makes us(SA) any different from "society". That's what I don't get at times. We can socialize on forums but not in public, I hope i don't offend anyone. Correct me if I'm wrong please.

**** happen in life, you only live once. [email protected]# it.

Cheers to life and health.
 

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I do usually end up feeling sad in social situations. I feel like everyone else is being normal and being part of the world around them, but I'm stuck inside the prison in my head. I get especially sad when I see other people doing things I wish I could do. For example, when I go to see my uncle's band play, I wish that I had the guts to get up there too. It's the contrast of seeing them do what makes them happy, knowing that I want to and am holding myself back.
 

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comfortably numb
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Whats makes us(SA) any different from "society". That's what I don't get at times. We can socialize on forums but not in public, I hope i don't offend anyone. Correct me if I'm wrong please.

**** happen in life, you only live once. [email protected]# it.

Cheers to life and health.
For me it's because I can talk freely here and things that I could say here are understood by most people whereas if I talked about them in normal society I would be seen as a weird or worse.
 

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I usually feel like I don't belong, even among my family. I avoid those functions too, or I stay with my sisters or one cousin who does all the talking and doesn't notice any lack of conversation.
 
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