Only one close friend who has been constantly busy the last year and almost no relatives left alive anymore, and I have lived alone for years. I know what it is like to live alone in a grave so to speak. Complete desolation and isolation. Stinks.
I feel alone all the time but in a sense of I have family but if I suddenly died who would go to my funeral? Of course my family would be obligated to go as they are family but no close friends. But whatever I like being alone sometimes. We came into this world by ourselves (unless you're a multiple). Having family isn't cracked up to what it's supposed to be anyway most times.
My parents live 30 minutes from me, my brother lives in North Carolina. He is in the Air Force so he isn't home very much. He rarely comes up here to visits. Pretty much I don't really talk to anyone outside my parent's in real life. I do talk to people at work, but I don't hang out with them. Pretty much they are in their 50's where I work. I very rarely speak to my neighbors unless they speak to me first. As I get older I get to more and more of a loner.
There was a time when I kind of wrote off my family and went travelling around for a year on my own, at that time I thought I didn't need anyone. Fast forward 14 years later, I'm grateful my dad is still alive (lost my mom in 02). Still sometimes I feel very lonely around my family because if anyone should "get" me they should, and often, they don't.
Pretty much, yeah. No friends (online or otherwise) and I don't hang out with anyone. No one would really even know if something happened, beisdes my work because I wouldn't show up...lol. I have trouble relating to any of my family and I pretty much ignore them.
I'd love to move states to cut the few remaining ties I have.
Lately I have found it sort of comforting to spend time at the Library. I go there maybe once a week, even if its just to sit and read a book I own lol. Seems sort of odd probably, but it gets me out of my apartment.
i'm alone but strangely enough, i think i already got use to it. i've been alone here at the house all day today and i don't feel alone. what i am lacking right now is a GF though. but that's my fault, that i'm alone, because i sort of gave up on trying to feel at ease around people. im the one who stopped talking to everyone, not them. i dumped my last girl, i stopped talking to my family (they talk to me once in a while), i stopped talking to the few friends that i had. i've had a few opportunities at work to make new friends but i always subconsciously reject them. i reject females, not just due to SA, but because i always find something wrong with them. i isolated myself, in a way ran like a wuss! now my only friend is a cockroach his name is roachy..nah i hate roaches....i kill them.
kidding aside, hopefully though, since now i'm learning about this SAD, things will change for me. by the end of this year i should have improved some what. thats my goal, there has to be a way out. i know there is. i just have to find the right path and just go for it not looking back.