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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've never felt a desire to have children. When I see babies my heart doesn't ache for one. I think I might be cool with an older kid like age 10 and up - whatever age when they stop being so honest and can hold an intelligent conversation. My 3 year old cousin asked why my tummy was so big once. I wanted to say "because I'm fat and if you don't play your cards right you'll be fat one day too!" but I didn't. We need to start teaching manners to kids straight out of the birth canal. ;)

Getting back on topic, I feel like there's something wrong with me since I'm a woman and I don't want kids. I need to come to peace with this decision. I'm almost there but not completely or I wouldn't be making this thread. I love my cats dearly. I love caring for them, but another human is scary stuff. I don't want another human to be dependent on me. I don't like responsibility.
 

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My wife has never wanted kids, never had the inclination nor confidence.
I don't hate kids but because my financial situation was never stable , I didn't force the issue. In fact I was frightened of the responsibility in the end.
There is an ever so slight twinge of envy at times. But you have to take the good with the bad. I hear having kids is quite expensive these days.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yep, finances is another reason for me. I'm almost certain that if I had a child I would want to stay home with him or her (which I now sounds strange given that I don't even want children). My mother stayed home with us. Dropping the kid off at daycare - in addition to sounding like a complete hassle because I can barely get myself to work on time - just doesn't gel with me. But no judgment to working parents at all! I understand the need and desire to put children in daycare.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I guess the thing that always sticks with me is when people say "You just don't know what it's like until you have children" and "You would die for them" and "It changes your entire world but for the better."
 

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Sounds like you want to concentrate on your career.
 

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I dont hate kids, but am not overjoyed at the thought of raising one throughout the worst years(is it 0-5 thats the worst?). I found it extremely hard to find a woman who wasnt gung ho for the idea of having kids...or someone who didnt have kids already, but it seems that I was looking at the wrong age group.

That said, I wouldnt be completely opposed to one ankle biter...as long as I was with a woman who I knew I could count on to stay. That last part is the first and biggest hurdle. :|
 

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I've known I didn't want to breed since I was a teenager. My best friend from my school days is the same, and I know other women who are also uninterested in having kids. I think other people's children can be cute. But I think baby polar bears are cute, and I have no desire to raise one to adulthood in my home. Sadly I know that some other women with kids/who want kids can be quite judgemental, like by declaring you want to stay child free you are personally insulting their belief system or something *eye roll*
 

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I don't want kids for several reasons. The earth is overpopulated and we really don't need anymore. Having kids is also horrible for the environment.

http://green.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/07/having-children-brings-high-carbon-impact/

The study found that having a child has an impact that far outweighs that of other energy-saving behaviors.

Take, for example, a hypothetical American woman who switches to a more fuel-efficient car, drives less, recycles, installs more efficient light bulbs, and replaces her refrigerator and windows with energy-saving models. If she had two children, the researchers found, her carbon legacy would eventually rise to nearly 40 times what she had saved by those actions.
My personal reasons: Kids are too expensive and time consuming. I have a limited time on this planet and I'd rather travel and experience other cool stuff than spend all my money and time on rug rats.

I'm a low energy type of person and need 9 hours of sleep of night. I've heard that during the first year or two you can't get much of any sleep. I would be a total wreck. Also you can't leave a kid home alone until they are 9 years old. That's just such a huge responsibility. I'm used to cats, where you can even take off for a week and the cats will be fine if you leave lots of kibble and water out. And, last of all I don't want to ruin my body by having kids. I had a breast lift a few years ago and I really don't want to ruin the perfection the doctor created. Not to mention what happens to you down there....oh the horror.
 

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I don't love kids, but I'm okay with them. One reason I don't want my own kids is that I still think I'm going to off myself eventually, and I can't do that when I have personally given birth to people who need me to take care of them.

I'm not a pet person either, so I guess I just don't have that natural inclination to want to care for someone else. Hm. Maybe in another life.
 

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I don't love kids, but I'm okay with them. One reason I don't want my own kids is that I still think I'm going to off myself eventually, and I can't do that when I have personally given birth to people who need me to take care of them.

I'm not a pet person either, so I guess I just don't have that natural inclination to want to care for someone else. Hm. Maybe in another life.
Promise me before you visit the netherlands to let me get you dinner. I'm serious. Definitely I'll answer some questions. Take care.
 

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Getting back on topic, I feel like there's something wrong with me since I'm a woman and I don't want kids. I need to come to peace with this decision. I'm almost there but not completely or I wouldn't be making this thread. I love my cats dearly. I love caring for them, but another human is scary stuff. I don't want another human to be dependent on me. I don't like responsibility.
Why would there be something wrong with you? You make a lot more sense to me compared to people who have chosen to reproduce. Personally i dont see the point of bringing more people into the world plus i've never liked children from the time i was one myself untill today.. so dont feel weird about it!
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
My personal reasons: Kids are too expensive and time consuming. I have a limited time on this planet and I'd rather travel and experience other cool stuff than spend all my money and time on rug rats.

I'm a low energy type of person and need 9 hours of sleep of night. I've heard that during the first year or two you can't get much of any sleep. I would be a total wreck. Also you can't leave a kid home alone until they are 9 years old. That's just such a huge responsibility. I'm used to cats, where you can even take off for a week and the cats will be fine if you leave lots of kibble and water out. And, last of all I don't want to ruin my body by having kids. I had a breast lift a few years ago and I really don't want to ruin the perfection the doctor created. Not to mention what happens to you down there....oh the horror.
I'm so with you on the wanting time to travel and the freedom to pursue my own interests. I'm also low energy and need my sleep. It's not pretty when I'm sleep deprived.

komorikun: the more I think about it, the more I want to move to CA and be the Laverne to your Shirley. The Thelma to your Louise. We'll sleep, play with the cats, and only go out when we need some men to bring home. What do you say?
 

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I am. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Why would there be something wrong with you? You make a lot more sense to me compared to people who have chosen to reproduce. Personally i dont see the point of bringing more people into the world plus i've never liked children from the time i was one myself untill today.. so dont feel weird about it!
I know what you're saying. I like to beat myself up, what can I say? I wish everyone thoughtfully considered the decision to have children. I have a feeling many do it because it's what's expected of them.
 

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I really wish more women (many, many, many more women) had your viewpoint. I believe the world would be a better and less cluttered place. You need not feel ashamed or concerned about this one bit, and don't ever let anyone tell you differently. They are fools. The primary motivation to reproduce is selfishness. Bringing another adult into the world just because it fits into your life plan for self-realization is the height of selfishness.
 

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I guess the thing that always sticks with me is when people say "You just don't know what it's like until you have children" and "You would die for them" and "It changes your entire world but for the better."
This might be related to the above comments:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Choice-supportive_bias

In cognitive science, choice-supportive bias is the tendency to retroactively ascribe positive attributes to an option one has selected. It is a cognitive bias.

The tendency to remember one's choices as better than they actually were, where people tend to over attribute positive features to options they chose and negative features to options not chosen.

What is remembered about a decision can be as important as the decision itself, especially in determining how much regret or satisfaction one experiences. Research indicates that the process of making and remembering choices yields memories that tend to be distorted in predictable ways. In cognitive science, one predictable way that memories of choice options are distorted is that positive aspects tend to be remembered as part of the chosen option, whether or not they originally were part of that option, and negative aspects tend to be remembered as part of rejected options. Once an action has been taken, the ways in which we evaluate the effectiveness of what we did may be biased. It is believed this may influence our future decision-making. These biases may be stored as memories, which are attributions that we make about our mental experiences based on their subjective qualities, our prior knowledge and beliefs, our motives and goals, and the social context. True and false memories arise by the same mechanism because when the brain processes and stores information, it cannot tell the difference from where they came from.
 

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I'm so with you on the wanting time to travel and the freedom to pursue my own interests. I'm also low energy and need my sleep. It's not pretty when I'm sleep deprived.

komorikun: the more I think about it, the more I want to move to CA and be the Laverne to your Shirley. The Thelma to your Louise. We'll sleep, play with the cats, and only go out when we need some men to bring home. What do you say?
Sounds good to me!! :drunk
 
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