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I always have a hard time interacting with my own family, my that I mean siblings, nephews, nieces and brother/sister in-law. Usually when they come over for a visit I stay in my room the entire time. When I go to visit during a get together I can never have a conversation with them. I am always trying to be invisible :um. I feel so awkward and out of place all the time. I am the same way with my older brother, he's a year older, we were very close when we were kids but now I am so shy around him as well. It's sad that even with my family I am anxious :blank.
 

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I'm only anxious around family members I don't spend much time with, like uncles and cousins. I couldn't imagine how difficult it must be to feel anxiety around your immediate family, feeling anxiety in your home constantly.
 

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I am too. Realize though that they might also have some hang ups or just simply that there's a personality clash making the interactions difficult. And maybe the circumstances (too many people around, noise, etc) contribute to it too.

I was completely overwhelmed when I lived with my parents. I was constantly paranoid that they were watching me and spent most of my time in my bedroom. I was hiding a few things from them too which didn't help, but I can relate. I'm only comfortable with extended family after a couple drinks.
 

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To make the situation that much worse, sadly yes. And no, not just extended family either. Even my own goshdamn immediate family--my two sisters, mom and dad. Usually I don't get very anxious like I do in public but every now and then it happens. The thing is I know why I am nervous around them. I am ashamed of who I am and of why I act the way I do because of SA. I feel like the ugly duckling, the odd one out, the f***ed up one of the family, when everyone else is normal. A complete failure and a loser of a man. They don't know I have it and if they did it'd only make what I described above that much more valid to them. Of course they wouldn't admit it but deep down they would. SA has ruined every relationship I have ever known, even the ones at home.
 

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inanotherworld
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Yes, and I usually get criticized for it too V.V

Shows you that even people who are closest to you, or are usually expected to be supportive don't really understand I guess.
 

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I'm mostly anxious around the extended family, except my grandparents. I'm anxious around my father too, we don't really talk much. My brothers and sister and mum I'm ok with.
 

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I'm bad around extended family,too.
I didn't even go to my nans funeral as I didn't want to be around all of my uncles and cousins and stuff all day, who all have normal lives - asking questions that I wouldn't want to answer. It's kind of more embarrassment than anxiety in them situations for me, I guess...
 

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you are def not alone in this. Every time I am having a get together with my family the only thing I look forward to is when we are gonna leave again lol
 

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I'm not that anxious around my parents unless I'm having to discuss something with them that is sort of touchy... but I am very anxious around the rest of my family. Even my brothers, ever since they got married and moved out it's like awkward and I don't know what to say so I get nervous :(
 

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Most certainly. It's so horrible, you just want to feel comfortable around your family like you should for the sole fact that they're your family, but the SA gets in the way of that and makes you feel like an outsider :[
 

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I enjoy being around my family (I don't see them often) but yes, I still get anxious. This past Christmas I was asked to be Santa (which involves handing everyone the presents from under the tree, one at a time), and even that made me really nervous.
 

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I'm more anxious around some members of my extended family than anyone else on the planet actually and a little anxious around my dad sometimes too.
 

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Well, yes and no.

Yes because I startle very easily and often, I'll be sitting here in complete silence and my mom or dad will either knock on my door or grab the doorknob and cause me to jump out of my skin. It takes my stress or anxiety or whatever from low to ultra in a split second and it takes about 20 minutes for me to get over it.

There are lots of other little things (and it seems like it's always the little things) that I wish didn't get to me but they do.
 

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More or less... I've never been entirely comfortable with my family but I can at least communicate decently well with most of them.

But I do hate most of my extended family as they're mostly really rich, petulant people and I just detest than kind of person so I avoid them at all costs.
 

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My immediate family, mother, father, brother, sister, not too much. Sure am around all the extended parts, my one remaining grandparent, my aunt's and uncles, cousins, all that. Just never seem to have anything to talk about with them, they are quite a bit different from me in terms of interests and the lives they lead, and I'm pretty sure many of them secretly despise me for being the way I am.
 

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Yes... :rain

I'm not close to any extended family; even my brother, who lives out of state, is practically a stranger to me. So of course I'm anxious around all of them; I despise family gatherings (bunches of loud extroverts! :x ), and was so glad when I could stop attending them, even if it did make me more isolated.

A bigger problem is that this anxiety also extends to my parents, whom I live with and who are the only relatives I'm close to. I'm not AS anxious around them, but I still experience my moments. They're dismissive of my anxiety, and can be pretty argumentative, so whenever the potential for either conflict or needing to express my feelings comes up, I get dreadfully anxious, since neither situation ever goes well.

My dad especially has a habit of picking arguments in a sort of passive-aggressive way...he's even admitted to deliberately "teasing" me (which usually involves him seeming to get angry and insulting) to try to "toughen me up," but after 37 years you think he'd get the hint it's not working. :|

Anyway, like I said, he picks arguments...for example I feed wild birds, and they eat a lot in winter, so I need to get birdseed quite frequently, but since I can't drive, that means a parent must go buy/pick it up for me. NOW, I pay for the seed, and I only ask for it when a parent is already on their way into town past the Feed & Seed, so the only real "inconvenience" is them just stopping there on the way and picking it up--I pay them afterward and everything. But he complains about it anyway, tells me to stop feeding the birds, stop wasting money (what should I spend it on, drugs??--he's criticized every hobby of mine, including buying books, and tells me I should spend the money on something "better," but I have no clue what, I'm not into clothes or anything--and I know if I WERE into clothes, he'd criticize that too!), etc. etc....I've tried to explain to him (and to my mother, who is also critical to a somewhat lesser degree) that feeding birds gives me something pleasurable to do, to feel useful since I'm so lonely and feel so useless, but it never seems to get through...I believe it's because he just loves arguing.

Sometimes I'm seriously tempted to ask what exactly I could be better spending my time and money on, does he want me to go out and get drunk or stoned...? :| It's not like there's much to do around here, even if I could drive!

Anyway, it got so bad that every time my birdseed ran low, I'd feel painfully anxious working up the guts just to ask him to pick me up some more. It's especially stupid since I'd ask him to do this on his grocery shopping trips, when he'd ask me first if there was anything I needed him to pick up. Anything except more birdseed, I guess. :roll The last time I asked (maybe a month or so ago), he snapped that it would be the last time he'd do it until April. The birds eat enough that a bag lasts only 2-4 weeks, at the most, so I just said never mind (I'm so tired of arguing every time I need more), and now my mother picks the seed up, though she grouses about it each time I ask, too.

So...I get all stressed out just asking for birdseed. ;_; I guess it's a good thing I don't ever get out and socialize with what a pain it'd be for them...they used to complain also about driving me to my therapy appointments.

Similarly, both of them, my mother especially, get incredibly exasperated and angry when I try to talk about my negative feelings (she'll accuse me of trying to make her feel guilty and will demand to know what I want her to do about it--I've tried numerous times to explain I just need somebody to listen and empathize, but it doesn't get through, she even said once, "That's what your psychologist is for!"), so...now that my therapy's been terminated as unsuccessful, the Internet--namely, SAS--is the only place I have to talk about what's bothering me. :sigh

And sometimes even the most innocuous little comment will set one of them off...the other day I mentioned I'd seen ants in the tub (ants freak me out), and my dad got really irritated and said he didn't care, it didn't bother him...I still don't know why that annoyed him so much. :| I never know what I might say will upset them, sometimes...even asking if they're okay, or apologizing if I've done something wrong, gets them angry most of the time! (If I really was sorry about something, I wouldn't have done it wrong in the first place, so I'm supposed to just know how to do everything right, without having to ask; but also, I should never assume anything...if I show concern for them, I'm being annoying and worry too much; but also, if I don't show concern for them, I'm being selfish. I don't know how to win. ;_; )

Tl;dr--yes--also anxious around family. Sometimes even more anxious than I am around others.

ETA--urgh--damn--long. ;_;
 

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I'm not anxious around my parents or my brother but the rest of my family I am. Most of them I've never been around that much.
 

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My family are the only people I'm not anxious around. But if you do want to try and talk to them and not be as anxious, that's something I've been working on too. I find that most people like to talk about themselves, so if you just want to try out some conversations, ask them some questions about pretty much anything. How something in their life is going, if they've seen some new movie out, just something small. Then you can chat briefly and make your escape if that's enough for you at the time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
I'm mostly anxious around the extended family, except my grandparents. I'm anxious around my father too, we don't really talk much. My brothers and sister and mum I'm ok with.
This is exactly what my problem is too. With my mom and my 2 younger brothers I'm "normal" but with my dad, sister and older brother I am so anxious.
 
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