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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi, my S.A started to show itself during middle school and become worse in highschool which made sitting in a classroom unbearable and super uncomfortable making me despise school cause i was always afraid. This made me frustrated because most of the people in my class where people I've known since childhood. Few years later and am almost done with university and am only stating to deal with my S.A now, My grades obviously are quite poor due to my heavy avoidance of going to classes. Seeing as i only have a few months left I wanted to find out is there any techniques or things I could try that might make attending lecturers more bearable?
 

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Hi I had exactly the same problem. Attending lectures was torture and I never once in 3 years had courage to raise my hand and ask a question of the lecturer. Would break out into cold sweat and shake if I tried. I found a book very useful for my SA called Dr Claire Weekes " Self Help for your Nerves" Nerdy title and did not hold out much hope of it being of any use but read it anyway. In all situations where I went into panic mode blushing, shaking etc., in other words anything involving other people it gives simple concepts for handling SA. Not instant cure but the cognitive methods she suggested worked for me over time.
As they say about any suggestions 'Take what you need and leave the rest"
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thank you🙏 i will try the book. I honestly feel better knowing am not the only one who struggles in lecturers
 

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Thank you🙏 i will try the book. I honestly feel better knowing am not the only one who struggles in lecturers
Yes you are certainly not alone. It used to be so frustrating watching my class mates looking so relaxed and apparently comfortable at lectures. I say apparently because I have learnt many people suffer from anxiety but not from chronic anxiety like I did. I later did a second degree and although had occasional bouts of stage fright ( which I have learnt is only natural) had a great time asking as many questions as I liked. As you will see when have a chance to read book first step is learning not to fear SA just accept it is part of one's makeup for a while. I was always beating myself up for not having sufficient will power or courage to overcome SA on my own, in other words it was a character defect. I had no idea others had SA to the degree I did. Thankfully I now know that not to be true and that gradually I could get well.
 

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Heres another person who never once raised his hand or volountarily spoke in class, not in high-school, not at university.

Since then ive been more proactive in dealing with my social anxiety, and im convinced that if you sometimes choose yourself to speak it makes it much easier when you are forced to speak, bcs that forward-leaning "go-get-it" motivation makes you feel more empowered, and less like a cornered animal. Small steps help ofcourse, bcs it takes alot of courage.

That would be my advice that helped alot for me.

I hope you can enjoy your last uni months more!

Isac
 

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I am also someone who has extreme difficulty participating in class. I continue to regret my lack of participation from my university years. I feel I lost a lot of the experience and learning that would have come with speaking up. It was the worst when professors would pick people to speak, fearing they would pick on me! I didn't pursue the major I wanted because the classes were run as seminars which were a small group of students and active participation was required. Still shocked I managed to earn a degree! I missed so much class...

Anyway, enough of that!

It does feel good to share with others who have felt this way however, as I still struggle with this at work for example, in the way of meetings. @Swallowtail1678 - you are still a student, few months left, and have awareness of your SA, which is a good start already.

Some things that have helped me over the years:
-Remember: nobody really gives a ****! This is what my therapist tells me. Exactly that, people don't give a ****. People tend to care about their own selves mostly and will not be paying much attention to you.
-Prepare for lecture and possibly have a question ready to ask or comment to make in class; even if you don't volunteer, at least you can have something to say if the teacher calls on you. I found that I would sometimes avoid readings to avoid speaking in class if that makes sense...would only make it worse if I got called upon though or when working with a group! OMG.... and I missed out on interacting more with the learning material :/
-Before class take a couple slow deep belly breaths, hold, and exhale slowly.
-Always have a bottle of water with you and drink water. Keeps your vocal cords moist and you can avoid the awkward choking/coughing that can happen when speaking. And water is good for you overall.
-Practice speaking, even if that means reading out loud for example. They say vocal warmups help as well, like singers do. And tongue twisters like "she sells seashells by the seashore," I did this one to prepare for zoom work meetings.
-Think up some fun facts about yourself to be ready for those awkward ice breakers...
-Remember that you are capable of enduring the uncomfortable bodily sensations: blushing, sweaty hands, butterflies in stomach, dizziness...you will not die from it.
-Professional help from school counselors, therapists, psychiatrists can add additional support for you to cope with your anxiety. Access to these services can vary of course.
-Group therapy is also helpful, as is this forum here. Knowing you are not alone is such a big deal.
-One step at a time, you got this!!! Remember, nobody gives a ****. But this is important for you. So you gotta do what you gotta do...
 
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