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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I often worry that people at work or friends, dislike me, I look for the little things that could signify that they might not like me. It is often small things like; them not asking me to come to the canteen with them or not entering my name onto the list of friends in our forum (even if we were meant to be quite close). Things like this often make me worry all night about the fact they might not like me.
I am one of the people in the office that makes people laugh and could be called the office clown. But worry that sometimes people are not laughing with me but at me.
Also if someone is quietly talking to someone else I always assume it is about me.
I try to be nice to everyone but if someone is not happy I always assume their bad mood is my fault and is directed at me.
There is one girl in the office that is not liked very much and I worry that I could be just like her and people secretly hate me.
People say that that I rarely get talked about and that I am popular but I still worry that they could be lying.
If someone gives a little critism I always assume it means i am disliked and that if one person dislikes me so muct everyone else.
I look for body language as a way of seeing if people like me and often think they like others more or dislike me altogether.
I often look for reasurrence but they say i am just being paranoid.
Does anyone else get these worries?
 

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Sure, I often immediately think someone doesn't like me if they aren't friendly to me or if I don't think I "felt" a genuine like from them. I've struggled with that for a long time. Then I'll beat myself up after the conversation in regard to all the stupid things I said or didn't say, that can go on for a long time. If I hear whispering, I also will initially think it is about me. Both of these things, I realize are irrational, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that's what jumps to my mind first.
 

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I worry about this all the time, everytime I have to interact with new people or people that I don't know very well. I just figure they don't like me which makes it hard to ever get to know people to begin with since I never take chances and never make the first move. I just wait for people to talk to me and if they don't than I take it as a sign that they don't like me and wouldn't want to talk to me. I try not to think like this but it's hard.
 

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A cracked polystyrene man
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Wow, you summed up the worst elements of my SA to a tee. I'm EXACTLY like you, in that I am constantly aware of how other people react towards my actions. There are a number of people at work who I believe have a general hatred towards me. It's not that they have confronted me or disrespected me in any way, it's simply just their actions. There are a few people (usually the higher ups) who I can literally look into their eyes and say 'Hello' and they will quickly look away, as if I hadn't said a word. This is such deflating experience for me and really hurts deep down. Also, I usually look to see how these people react to others - If I see them getting on, I feel terrible. This tears me up so badly EVERYDAY at work, that I can barely concentrate.
 

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I'm always under the impression that people don't genuinely like me. For example at my last job I was pretty convinced that everyone disliked me. Oddly enough when I was fired the one person I thought truly disliked me more than my boss sent me an email wishing me well and offering a reference. My other coworker sent me an email saying he would me miss me and offering a reference, too. The person I shared an office with and spoke to daily on the other hand didn't reach out to me at all. And naturally I can't be satisfied knowing two people were somewhat fond of me....it still bothers me that this one person didn't think enough of me to at least wish me well.
 

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Chief Worrier
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i know exactly what you mean. i hate hearing an entire group of people talk about a person, because i'm terrified that people do that behind MY back, too. especially if the person they're talking about has flaws that i'm afraid i have to.
 

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I always assume people dislike me. i think it tends to be a self-fulfilling propecy because I give up trying to be friends with them.
I've heard one way of improving social skills is to pretend everyone really likes you.
 

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I think everyone doesn't like me. I try making up for it by being nice (most people tell me I am too nice). But I still feel like people hate me. I guess if I had friends it wouldn't bother me so much, but since I don't have any friends sometimes I feel like the only reason I don't is because people don't like me. Every now and then I feel like I am reading too much into it, but I usually can't get past the feeling that everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back.
 

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stillborn
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I feel the same way as well. Like, when I see people in public, I'm afraid that after we part ways they will say to whomever they were are with or think, "God, she's annoying..." or whatever.
 

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When I was younger this really bothered me. As I have grown up, I don't really care if someone likes me or not. Now, I don't go out of my way to be ugly to somebody, but I just be myself, and let the chips fall where they may. Not everyone is going to like you anyway.
 

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Yeah, I constantly think this at school or when meeting new people.

I feel like it's this heavy weight on my shoulders and I somehow can't seem to get out of the mindset. My mind immediately starts analyzing body language and assumes that this person doesn't like me. Well, and I'm super shy and I don't really engage and feel like myself yet. :\

It's a tough process...
 
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