[Northpark]

Just read this today
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090805...DeW5fdG9wX3N0b3JpZXMEc2xrA3BhbWFua2lsbHMzaA--

This reminds me of Virginia Tech. Must have been really frustrating to feel that he had no control over his life that he had to resort to this. Wish he sought help first.

 

[Peekyboo]

It's hard when you don't have family you're close with or genuine friends. Its easy to fall into a deep pit of despair when you're all alone. You have an extra burden to carry, but it doesn't make life hopeless. I think he felt really unloved and was looking for that in another person, which he never seemed to find. I think if he had someone there for him, then he could've made it past this turmoil.

 

[Enola]

I don't post here very often but when I read the news I immediately thought about this site and wondered if the topic would come up. It is hard to live with this every day and at times I get a little distraught myself but what I don't understand is that they have to take other people on the way out. I guess they are hurting so bad that they don't care who they hurt in turn. I just wish I had something more positive to post.

 

[Peekyboo]

I agree its hard to understand why they would include others too. I think at first maybe the depression is directed inwards, like maybe its the persons own fault or responsibility for the situation but after awhile it turns to anger and frustration, which is directed to others and the outside situation.

 

[ruinMYlife]

wow I was just about to post the topic here when i seen your title.

it makes me feel embarrassed that people that know me must think one day i might turn into a psychopath and do something crazy, **** those anti-social sons of *******s

 

[Northpark]

Exactly. When the Virginia Tech shootings happened, I came and posted a similar title about how our peers would be put in the spotlight since the kid was a loner with no friends. The media always distorts the archetype and tries to paint antisocial or SAS types as trenchcoat-wearing, perverted, conspiracy theorists who have piles of newspapers in their house. But people will focus their attentions on quiet citizens who are considered "weird" or nerdy who have trouble connecting on a social level. I think we've been seeing that for the past 10 or 15 yrs now with more antisocial/SAS people being ostracized.

This guy was obviously trying to connect with people and failing miserably. Would have been great if someone reached out to him. Very sad that he killed those women. Obviously wanted to hurt women since he felt women had wounded him in rejection.

 

[PickleNose]

This is what really worries me when I see so many guys online who are so distraught over being alone or whatever. I've made peace with it and deal with it pretty well but it's pretty obvious there are a lot of men who are really not coping with it well at all.

It only takes one like this guy and it makes every man who even expresses loneliness look like a ticking time bomb.

 

[Strategist]

Wow. Maybe he should have tried plentyoffish first....

 

[VivaLaVida]

Have any one of you read his diary postings? I read them earlier and was like holy crap, this sounds way too familiar (except for the wanting to murder part). I'm definitely not someone to go and end the lives of others, but I was a little scared after reading his words because of the familiarity.

 

[Northpark]

That's what's so scary about all these incidents be it Pittsburgh or VA Tech and others. They were all lonely and rejected or attacked/picked on for being different, antisocial or weird by what's considered "normal standards". Something alot of us are familiar with. But these people hit a breaking point and unfortunately went down a dark path to end their "pain".

I know I would never harm a soul beyond self-defense but it's frightening to think there are those out there who really need to talk to someone or else they'll do something regretful in releasing all that pent-up rage.

 

[miminka]

The media always distorts the archetype and tries to paint antisocial or SAS types as trenchcoat-wearing, perverted, conspiracy theorists who have piles of newspapers in their house. But people will focus their attentions on quiet citizens who are considered "weird" or nerdy who have trouble connecting on a social level. I think we've been seeing that for the past 10 or 15 yrs now with more antisocial/SAS people being ostracized.

Wow. I read the article and I honestly don't know what to say. I totally agree with you Northpark; that is one of my main concerns. This guy (as was previously mentioned) was reaching out to people and no one noticed. It's heartbreaking. Antisocial people are all too quickly labeled and put in a box. They're automatically 'weird' and no one bothers with them. Which only makes them feel lonelier.

When you hear about this sort of thing, the media is rarely ever sympathetic towards the culprit. And I know it's really hard to be, but for people like you (I'm assuming) and I, we know where he's coming from. I'm not saying what he did was right- it is far from right.

There is something BLATANTLY wrong with me that NO goddam person will tell me what it is

I mean, I read that out of his online diary and that really hit home. But it was true that he was a very angry person and that is quite prominent in his diary. It's a shame he did what he did.

 

[xlb123]

Wow, after reading his diaries and interviews with people he knew, I immediately knew he had social anxiety. What's even scarier is that I relate to this guy. I also grew up with a dad who never gave a **** and never supported me, and an older brother who picked on me. I've also felt social and romantic rejection. It sucks. It's hard to grow up without a father figure. Luckily, I had friends who picked me up when I was down. If it weren't for them, I might still be that same vulnerable, unconfident guy stuck in negative thought patterns. Who knows where I would be...

What pisses me off is the media labeling him as a psychotic and sex-deprived loser. The media just loves to label people and put them down. They don't understand. The guy was not a BAD man. He was just someone who wanted companionship and acceptance and never got it. It's a cold world. He was just trapped in his misery and torment so long until he reached the breaking point. I'm in no way justifying what he did. It's just a sad story.

 

[PickleNose]

But these people hit a breaking point and unfortunately went down a dark path to end their "pain".

That's what a lot of people assume but I'm not so sure about that. I mean I'm not so sure everyone has this sort of "breaking point". I've felt pretty damn bad about myself and the world many times in my life but I have never seriously considered anything even remotely like this. Even if I may have had some violent fantasies about revenge, my conscience and everything that I am would never allow me to act on them.

I think there really has to be something more wrong with someone who would even want to kill innocent people because they're angry about their lot in life. This is not a case of simple SA. This is psychosis or something along those lines. I know for a fact that I don't have that "breaking point". Oh, I suppose I could break someday but I'm not going to hurt other people.

Unfortunately, the general public probably will not make the distinction between this man's psychotic behavior and people like us.

 

[ChrissyQ]

The biggest disease in the world today is the disease of ppl feeling unloved, unwanted & uncared for. - Princess Diana

 

[somethinginthewind]

I can't feel any sympathy for this man or his life. It makes me sick.

 

[STKinTHEmud]

Wow, after reading his diaries and interviews with people he knew, I immediately knew he had social anxiety. What's even scarier is that I relate to this guy.

I feel the same way. Very scary. I took a look at his first two blog posts and couldn't read anymore because it sounded so familiar. But I did a quick search of the article for the phrase "social anxiety" and found nothing. Sodini claimed that "There is something BLATANTLY wrong with [him] that NO goddam person will tell [him] what it is." At least we know what our problem is, that it has a name, and so we can do something about it.

 

[millenniumman75]

***Thread Lock Watch***
I have to step in here.

This watch was issued for a particular post. This site is specifically for SOCIAL ANXIETY. We are not trained to help out with SUICIDE issues. This is the main reason why we do not allow it on this board. metanoia.org is a forum for this.

It is not that we don't care; it was well-hidden. He was warned and infracted about this over the past several months. I told him flat out that there isn't anything we can do. We are VOLUNTEERS who only know about depression and social anxiety.
He actually posted the same message over a period of months and was warned about it.

Do not instigate.

 

[Pelicanbay]

at the end of the day, we are mammals, we all can do the most brutal crimes, just depends on how much it takes to push you there

thats really too bad...RIP to the victims

 

[Northpark]

That's what a lot of people assume but I'm not so sure about that. I mean I'm not so sure everyone has this sort of "breaking point". I've felt pretty damn bad about myself and the world many times in my life but I have never seriously considered anything even remotely like this. Even if I may have had some violent fantasies about revenge, my conscience and everything that I am would never allow me to act on them.

I think there really has to be something more wrong with someone who would even want to kill innocent people because they're angry about their lot in life. This is not a case of simple SA. This is psychosis or something along those lines. I know for a fact that I don't have that "breaking point". Oh, I suppose I could break someday but I'm not going to hurt other people.

Unfortunately, the general public probably will not make the distinction between this man's psychotic behavior and people like us.

Im not saying "everyone" has a breaking point that will send them flying off the handle in this direction. I meant "these particular people" who commit terrible crimes as a release of tension reached a point where they lost track of their rationale and their hidden-most demons took over and they become emotionally numb. Other people either become recluse or have nervous breakdowns. He's clearly an example of someone who should have sought out help. We'll know as the days and investigations go along what kind of guy he really was and what kind of help he sought, if any.

 

[VIncymon]

I heard that yesterday first.
So I said "really" why did he do it.

My dad replied "he said he hadn't had or woman or sex in so many years....."
Hearing that was eerie. I was half expecting my own father to turn and look at me quizically.

But this is the problem with S.A. Everyone downplays the symptoms until someone does something terrible, and then its all over the news:
"another 20-30'something virgin male kills X no. of women and shots himself"

In my opinion this could have easily been prevented.

Hearing this IS frustrating ! It makes me feel like pounding the wall and shouting "not again !"