[Maslow]

Does anybody else here have problems displaying their anger? When somebody does something that pisses me off, I always try to reason with them. I always feel like I need to be diplomatic about everything and try to understand where they're coming from. But face it... some people are just assholes and they just look for some weakness so they can try to make you feel bad. Just once I'd really like to tear into somebody, maybe even punch them in the mouth... just anger with no sense of consequence. Man, that would feel good.

 

[stillwaters]

I have never been one to get Angry,
at anyone..
a few times I have gotton upset, and maybe raised my voice...
my two 14 year olds..can be credited for that..

I tend to turn any anger onto me, and inwards...which
might explain why my selfEsteem is so bad ect..

and Yes, also tend to reason, other then to go off on a tengent...

also, if anyone is angry around me, I tend to have the desire to want to disapear, or find a corner and crawl up into a ball.....

 

[Atticus]

I definitely understand what you're saying, bull. It would be so nice to just react to the stupid **** that happens, but I'm cursed by reason, and then regret for being reasonable :stu

 

[cj]

Well I consider myself a bit of a hothead, meaning that i anger too quickly. I have been known to have a sharp tongue. I've mellowed over the years, but still have to watch my step. Its very rare for me to have a tangent - can't say i have in many many years but i tend to stew about things forever!

Yes its a real art to express your anger in a diplomatic style, with an open mind while working to resolve the issue. Very few people are good at that i think. At least you have the insight to try and see thier point of view in the beginning - that doesn't usually come to me until after.

And when i want to deck someone? Thats what pillows are good for

 

[Atticus]

You hit them with a pillow, cj :b

 

[stillwaters]

hmm Pillow??

I tend to have a good imagination,
so most of the anger is taken out in some great visuals,
that only my mind will ever know about... :evil

 

[Maslow]

Hmmm... I never thought of bringing a pillow to work...

The thing is, it really bothers me if somebody doesn't like me, and that's why I always try to be the reasonable one. People who have friends and family have a support structure that can withstand a little storm during the day fairly easily. But when you live in a grass hut, one good wind can blow it all down, metaphorically speaking. So when you're being the calm, rational one, things tend to settle down and you just wind up feeling bad about yourself.

I try to treat everyone with respect until they give me a reason not to, and even then most of the time I do because I make excuses for them... they were just having a bad day or something. And then I think what I wished I would have said... like, "why don't you get f'd." ... just something simple like that to let them know that I don't appreciate being treated with disrespect. But there's always that sense of consequence... they're going to go talk about me behind my back and turn everyone against me. The thing is... if you're so concerned that people won't like you, a lot of the time they won't. People are drawn to confidence.

 

[stillwaters]

:agree :yes
I am the same way!

 

[shawla]

I am two different people sometimes.
I have never gotten upset with my family or outsiders, and I refuse to let them see me upset. But with my husband, that's very different. lol I throw "my tantrums" with him. But he is the only one. :stu

 

[cj]

Yeahhhhhh ....... thats right atticus - I have pillow fights at work!

:banana

 

[Bon1]

Not a hard time with anger in the general sense, I get mad, brood, it's "Done with" I have a hard time putting in in perspective......LIke.....Hmm, my ex........It's been a while, and I still want him to fall off the face of the earth;-)

 

[cj]

well i have one ex hema that i will never forgive. He was a true demon! I swear ten years later, I am still cursing that i hope he burns in hell or at least goes back there.

Some anger is so hard to overcome.

 

[Maslow]

I tend to get mad at myself -- like stillwaters, rather than getting mad at the people who have done me wrong. I get mad at myself for not fighting back. I think it goes back to my childhood. I used to just take all the verbal abuse from my mother without fighting back and I felt sorry for her because she was so unhappy. It's hard to get over things that happened to you when you were a child... the things that shaped who you are as an adult. If only there was a place you could go to practice dealing with difficult people...

 

[cj]

Yes i think that what happened in childhood, reflects on the rest of your life in one way or another. My sister and husband on the other hand feel that thats a cop out. That its just an excuse for not fixing your life as an adult (this is basically what i get from them - and hense why i no longer want anything to do with them). I think we all try to overcome what has happened in the past and move past it. Its not always easy (I know in my case as i mentioned - i tend to stew about things for a long time) but we do try! There are sooo many injustices i faced when growing up and I think i've overcome about 90% of them - its the 10% i can't seem to shake. The other 10? well I too get angry at myself for doing something stupid/not standing up for myself ect. If it was a fundamental wrong - ie: someone purposely hurting me vs someone doing so inintentionally - the anger stays for a very long time. I need to learn to forgive my stupidities and others or at least dismiss them as such.

 

[Maslow]

Yeah, it's hard to fix things that are inherent in our personalities. I think it's possible, though. The first step is eliminating as many negative elements as we can in our lives and only having people around us who give us positive reinforcement. Of course, that could mean being alone, which isn't so good either. One thing I do know is that you have to get over the things that happened in your past, otherwise it just eats you alive. The objective is to not let things like that happen again.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off.

 

[Maslow]

One thing I'm going to try to do is not let my guard down unless I'm around people I know I can count on (which is only like two people! :lol Wait a minute... that's not funny.) . Every time I get hurt it's when I'm not expecting it so I wind up not reacting the way I wish I had.

 

[cj]

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off.

hehe i like that!

 

[Bon1]

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOVE that quote!

CJ.......I grew up in a.....Screwed up household.........I truly believe what happens to us as children does effect us, yet as we become adults and can see part of the problem it's up to us to "Fixit" and, that isn't easy........I think (too much gets me in trouble) that last ten percent.....Is the "Tape" we continue to hear of negative things.........I mean, if we had 20 years of negative, by poeple that "Loved" us........ Sometimes I wonder if this can be corrected or if it's something we have to learn to deal with......Just knowing it's not true....The words aren't flowing tonight!