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Is overcoming social anxiety a feat of will power or an act of letting go?

From my experience I have achieved the most remarkable moments when I didn't care about the outcome. Acceptance of everything is freeing, but then again it walks a thin line between experiencing life and being completely apathetic to it.

Will power- for me it is almost always setting myself up for failure. It has gotten to the point in which persistence is synonymous with failure. perhaps they are just one in the same entity.

I'd love to hear others thoughts about this,

...when you had your biggest breakthroughs with anxiety- was it letting go or pushing through?
 

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letting go. Much of the anxiety comes from your thoughts, so if you can find a way to remove the doubt and not care you will have a better chance at success. At least that's how I feel.
 

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thanks for your reply. And thats a very good point you make, most of our issues are self created arent they?
 

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baby you're a lost cause
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"Letting go" for me just means not trying at all.

I've never been able to 'let go' in a situation where it might be helpfull...
 

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Maybe both in a way... in a lot of instances I have had to let go and push forward... accept the uncomfortable feelings... and realize I had to do whatever it was so just push through the awkwardness and do it. Self-talking myself through things, "see, not so bad, you can do this, nothing bad is happening,"... that sort of thing. So for me it is both. I guess when you have to do something it is pushing through but when you just want to do something it is more of a letting go.
 

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is getting over herself
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yeah, i think at first it's an act of will and strength and determination, then comes the letting go, which happens when you really start believing the opposite of what you've always believed.
 

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She-Wolf
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certainly both.
it takes will power to reach the point where you can let go in a positive manner, so for me they just come hand in hand.

i always see it as a very good thing and progress when after socializing or when thinking back to moments where i thought i acted a bit stupid/awkward i can just instead laugh it off or just tell myself it's not a big deal.

its still hard as i still think back to moments i find embarrassing, but they don't have that same effect where they trigger significant emotional distress like they used to and i also don't obsess over them. it's a very good feeling to get some relief.
 

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Both. *edit. When I'm able to let go of expectations, and honestly don't care what others think of me, it's wonderful. The only trouble is, there are times when I've felt absolutely fine, only for the anxiety to come rushing in as soon as someone tries to befriend me, or chat me up.

Its not easy to "let go", but after so long being isolated and afraid with s/a, i've got to the stage of, i'll do it anyway. I have nothing to lose, and so much to gain!
This goes for me, too. :) I veer between being too cautious, and too impulsive. Where I've been too cautious, I end up fretting until I say to myself (or another person), "I have to do this, and I have to do it NOW." It gets to a point where I just can't take it anymore; the relief I feel afterwards, always leaves me wondering why I didn't get it over and done with sooner.
 

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Wow, very interesting point you raise.

I'd have to say its best to let go because I associate my SA with performance anxiety. It's simple, the more I feel ppl are watching me perform or assessing me, the worse my anxiety gets. It's those rare moments in life when I feel comfortable with someone and am having fun, that I forget my anxieties (social) even exist. Ahhh...I love those moments and they're very few and far between :(
 

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Is overcoming social anxiety a feat of will power or an act of letting go?

From my experience I have achieved the most remarkable moments when I didn't care about the outcome. Acceptance of everything is freeing, but then again it walks a thin line between experiencing life and being completely apathetic to it.

Will power- for me it is almost always setting myself up for failure. It has gotten to the point in which persistence is synonymous with failure. perhaps they are just one in the same entity.

I'd love to hear others thoughts about this,

...when you had your biggest breakthroughs with anxiety- was it letting go or pushing through?
it depends ont he situation. for example if i was about to blush infornt of people then i think the best solution would be acceptance cos fighting it would just make me blush even more. i think if i accepted that i could blsuh and not care then that would be the best solution int his situation

however though if i wanted to ask a girl out on a date but found that fear was doing its best to stop me then willpower and fight is definately the best solution int his particualr situation . i would have to get myself really motivated and focus on the consequences of not doing it e.g being alone when im older, and i would have to fight the fear and just go through it and ask her
 

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Letting go. Lletting go of expectations of outcomes, of how you like to appear to others, how you want others to receive you.

Though pushing through has it place too. I think it's more, once you make up your mind about something and is pretty certain intuitively you should push through.
 

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A Living Woman
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I can't really speak for anyone else but in my journey, it started with will power and ended with letting go. I had to try. I had to work through things. And once I did, I had to let them go. I don't think I could've let them go without figuring it all first. I had to deal.

I guess the will power part was the battle and the letting go part was the revival of myself.
 

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breaking free
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I guess I would say it involves mostly letting go, but still a little pushing through. Letting go for me meant changing my negative thoughts to more positive, realistic ones. Instead of telling myself that I didn't belong, for example, I would say that I had just a right to be there as anyone else. Once I had more realistic thoughts in my mind, most of the anxiety went away on its own.

It still required a little pushing though, however. Despite putting more realistic feelings in my head, I would still feel anxiety mainly out of habit- it was the way I always felt. Once I pushed though that anxiety and got positive results (i.e. people were more friendly) I continued to put myself in new situations. This made the feelings of anxiety get smaller and smaller over time.

I would say that pushing myself is the main way I overcame my anxiety, but I would have never been able to push myself at all if I did not let go. I actually tried that before and it did not work out very well. That is why I consider letting go the most important step.
 

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Is overcoming social anxiety a feat of will power or an act of letting go?

From my experience I have achieved the most remarkable moments when I didn't care about the outcome. Acceptance of everything is freeing, but then again it walks a thin line between experiencing life and being completely apathetic to it.

Will power- for me it is almost always setting myself up for failure. It has gotten to the point in which persistence is synonymous with failure. perhaps they are just one in the same entity.

I'd love to hear others thoughts about this,

...when you had your biggest breakthroughs with anxiety- was it letting go or pushing through?
to me, neither. I've tried both and none has lasting effect. For me, the key is changing how you think,being aware of your thought and facing your fear.
 

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For me, it's a little of both.

Somedays, it's been sheer will power that has kept me alive. It's what drives me to keep trying, to keep striving for happiness.

However, the 'letting go' definately works for me too. It fits with my spiritual views and so makes sense on many levels.
 
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