Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
949 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
When I was a little kid up until about 15 I never cared at all about going out, making friends joining clubs, dating. You know all that **** normal people. All I did in that time was just play video games like I do now except I got a job. Anyways I started getting bullied in 8th grade for being a quiet loner which everyone seemed to know about me at the time. That's when I started to feel like my life was being wasted by being a loner becauze they made me feel that way. Now I feel like I have to be going out every night and partying, chasing girls etc. Otherwise I'm a loser if I'm not out doing that. It also doesnt't help that I have to live in this ****ty social media generation. Having to see all of their pics they put up. But deep down I know that's not me and I wouldn't enjoy being extroverted. It's just that the media and and society tell me I't shouldn't be this way. Does anyone else feel caught in between?
 

·
Stoicism / ACT / CFT
Joined
·
11,901 Posts
You assumptions are that:

1)Society is telling you you are wasting your life.
2)Society (assuming 1 is true) is correct.

There is no real reason to assume something is best for you simply because most people believe it / do it. You may wish to evaluate the evidence for how 'correct' popular opinion has been historically.

Furthermore you should consider society isn't actually telling you anything. You are observing and deciding this is the message it is giving you. You can instead observe and notice 'this is how other people live, and I feel an urge to try to fit in'. Be aware, this urge to fit in would still exist if the majority of people went out daily and murdered puppies. It is human nature to not want to be outside the group, it says nothing for whether the group is doing something you necessarily want to partake in.

You must decide whether you actually gain enough from doing what you don't want to do in order to fit in the group.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,601 Posts
Would you prefer to stay home and play video games and do things at home or would you prefer to have friends/have a girlfriend/own your own house/be able to go out and enjoy what this life has to offer and not worry what the **** society says you should be doing?

Lets forget for a moment what society says. Do you think staying home and playing video games a waste of a life? If you were 80 years old and on your death bed and thought back about things you did in your life and most of it consisted of just staying home and playing video games and did very little else would you consider that a waste of a life?

So in a way society is right but really it's none of their business ;)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,601 Posts
It doesn't matter either way what anyone thinks. To me, we are wasting our life because we're unhappy, at least I am. Each day theres hours I skip like a stone, I just crawl in a bed.
This.

If a person is happy because they live a life filled with meaningful and satisfying relationships and get along well with others then it's all cool. If a person is happy leading a life filled with no relationships and sufferes from bouts of anxiety and worry about how other people see them and because of that are socially isolated and withdrawn and achieve virtually nothing in life, then at then end of the day it's all cool too ;)
 

·
on my own
Joined
·
341 Posts
If you are okay being introverted than be introverted. I was an introvert during my teen years and would play videogames and stuff at home by myself... Tbh, it kind of ****s you up for later if you want to be extroverted like I want to be now. :/
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
538 Posts
First, you gotta ask yourself if it is real that you don't wanna go to partys, or if it is just your way of rationalize it because of your fear? if you didn't had anxiety, or low confidence, would you really stay home a saturday night if you were invited to a party?

second, life is a big joke. Some dedicate themselves to drugs, other to books, some to sports, art, games, politics, hard Work and what not. It doesn't matter what you do(as long you are not harmning others), what matters is what YOU wanna do. If playing video games is truely what you wanna do all day, then ****ing do it, it should make you happy then. But if you are just playing video games as part fun part avoidance from the real World, I personally think you should throw away your games and start working hard on yourself to overcome your anxiety/depression and raise some self esteem.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
281 Posts
Now I feel like I have to be going out every night and partying, chasing girls etc. Otherwise I'm a loser if I'm not out doing that. It also doesnt't help that I have to live in this ****ty social media generation. Having to see all of their pics they put up. But deep down I know that's not me and I wouldn't enjoy being extroverted. It's just that the media and and society tell me I't shouldn't be this way. Does anyone else feel caught in between?
Most men don't like to go to clubs. Clubs are intentionally made so that people feel anxious and drink more. So no you are normal for not wanting to go there.

But there is something in between staying at home playing video games and going to a club. You could meet friends at a bar in which you can actually talk compared to a club. Or you could do any other activity you like. for example go play poker with friends or invite them to your place. Or go to the cinema which you can do alone.

About social media: don't use it. It's toxic. And using it IMHO actually classifies you as a looser and not vice versa. The only thing i have a facebook account for is that I don't miss some invites. Else I never post anything and never read any status updates. Waste of your time!
 

·
Recovery/"Over it"
Joined
·
3,391 Posts
Clubs are awful places, lots of people don't like them. If you are doing the things you want to do, then what's the problem? If you don't know what you want to do, go and find out.
 

·
Tortured Artist Cliche
Joined
·
48 Posts
When I was a little kid up until about 15 I never cared at all about going out, making friends joining clubs, dating. You know all that **** normal people. All I did in that time was just play video games like I do now except I got a job. Anyways I started getting bullied in 8th grade for being a quiet loner which everyone seemed to know about me at the time. That's when I started to feel like my life was being wasted by being a loner becauze they made me feel that way. Now I feel like I have to be going out every night and partying, chasing girls etc. Otherwise I'm a loser if I'm not out doing that. It also doesnt't help that I have to live in this ****ty social media generation. Having to see all of their pics they put up. But deep down I know that's not me and I wouldn't enjoy being extroverted. It's just that the media and and society tell me I't shouldn't be this way. Does anyone else feel caught in between?
Replace 15 with 19. Then replace having a job with playing guitar all day. This is my life. I know just how you feel mate.
Even the people who do go out every night aren't just feeding pics into social media, they are also consuming this idea of what they are supposed to be doing and just go at it even harder. Social media makes it exponentially worse. Again, I know them feels.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9 Posts
Same here. I understand life is short and I'm missing out on things I won't be able to do when I'm older, but I don't really care. I'm asexual and totally asocial, and I don't care about dating, flirting, relationships, having friends, etc. I lead a totally happy life by entertaining myself through solitary activities (mostly video games). I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks about it either.
 
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Top