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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is the first relationship for both of us, so we're pretty new at this. Im 20 and she's 19. It's been about 4 weeks of going out, but it's really weird/awkward.
I feel like I'm the one initiating everything, the texts, etc. I always start the text convo..she rarely does. Also, she not a very phone-social person, so we really only communicate through texts and occasional phone calls...I respect the fact that she doesn't like the phone, a lot of people don't, but how is a relationship supposed to progress when it takes hours to get a response to a text message, and when I initiate it all?

Also, we only see each other once or twice a week, she is super busy with swimming, which i understand, but again, how is a relationship supposed to progress when we barely see eachother?

Idk, am I expecting to much? I mean, yes this is my first relationship, but I think I know that it isn't supposed to be this estranged. I mean am i wrong for wanting to spend more time with her, it's official apparently, but it honestly doesn't feel like a relationship, because we barely see each other. What do I do about this? I don't wanna appear clingy, it's just that I thought, maybe I'm wrong, but I thought, in a relationship, a new one, you would spend more time with each other and communicate more often... that isn't really happening now....

It's really annoying, I'll send texts and it will take her hours to respond, and it really gets on my nerves,I'll call her, and she won't call back...I invest time and effort and feel like i dont get much in return..I'm even afraid to make a move, romantically, because I dont feel like I should because we barely see each other, maybe i should make a move? But then it might be weird, because we barely see each other!!! It really annoys me because I like her a lot!
 

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Don't rush things, just go with the flow of the relationship, you do not want to appear clingy at all, that will make her think that she is the only thing you have in your life.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I don't feel like i'm rushing things, I feel like I'm putting an effort and not getting anything out...am i wrong for wanting to see her more often?? I dont think its wrong, I still live my life the same way I did before i knew her...
 

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I don't feel like i'm rushing things, I feel like I'm putting an effort and not getting anything out...am i wrong for wanting to see her more often?? I dont think its wrong, I still live my life the same way I did before i knew her...
I know the feeling, and unfortunately, I don't know what the solution is. When I was experiencing this in my last (and only) relationship, I went the "clingy" route, and it definitely backfired. But I don't think my becoming clingy was the root problem; instead, it was all a symptom of the fact that the girl wasn't very strongly attracted to me in a more-than-friends kind of way. If I had to guess, I'd say you might be dealing with the same situation. Maybe a girl can chime in and give better insight, but in general, I'd think a girl who's really attracted to the guy she's dating would be actively seeking out regular contact with him and making time to see him (at least every couple days, for example). If I were in your shoes, I'd probably back off some and see if she makes an effort to seek you out more. If not, I'd end the relationship.
 

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Cool story, bro!
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Yeah, you are.

That's the problem with relationships and dealing with other people. Having expectations always leads to disappointment. People are never going to live up to what you want out of them. If you just start taking things as they are it will begin to go a lot smoother. Once you start expecting (and them failing to deliver) then brooding over the fact that your expectations aren't being met..well that's when bad things start happening.

Plus she's busy. You said yourself she's really busy with swimming. It's not like she is home all the time and still not actively trying to hang out with you.
 

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Consider yourself lucky. :b Some people are very clingy and needy. I actually don't like the phone. Although it seems I met my match in that department a while back. She hates the phone more than I do. So you can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em. :D Enjoy the freedom I say and go with the flow. (And yeah maybe she's not that into you--but hey that's no reason not to have fun.)
 

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I once only saw a boyfriend once or twice a week and he had another relationship going on on the side. I'm just saying. She might feel like she's too young to be in a serious relationship. Is this a Long Distance Relationship? Maybe, your reading too much into these texts if it's taking her a few hours to get back to you she may actually have things going on in her life. You shouldn't know how many hours it's been since she's e-mailed you. It seems like you are reading into every little e-mail. Don't do this it will make you crazy after awhile. If you actually are the only one sending every single e-mail than maybe it's time to step up and ask why she isn't e-mailing you. Have you fallen into the friend zone? Have you told her that you really, really like her. I found this video.
Telling her that is not so good. I just found this out.
Maybe she thinks that your uninterested cause you haven't made a move. It could be any of these things. You are going to have to do some detective work to find out which one it is. Good Luck!
 

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Hiding In My Den
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It sounds like she doesn't like you that much, and if she does like you then you and her probably aren't going to work out because you both have different expectations of how a relationship should be.
 

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I only see my boyfriend once a week, sometimes not even that. When we text each other sometimes it'll take a few hours for a response because we simply don't have our phones with us constantly. We have separate lives from our relationship, which has somehow worked really well for us.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Yeah, you are.

That's the problem with relationships and dealing with other people. Having expectations always leads to disappointment. People are never going to live up to what you want out of them. If you just start taking things as they are it will begin to go a lot smoother. Once you start expecting (and them failing to deliver) then brooding over the fact that your expectations aren't being met..well that's when bad things start happening.

Plus she's busy. You said yourself she's really busy with swimming. It's not like she is home all the time and still not actively trying to hang out with you.
I agree with what you are saying, but If i start taking things as they are and just go with the flow, how do i know that she is not just waiting for me to initiate something?? If thta makes any sense...
 
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