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This is a very strong thought, that has helped me incredibly much.

Everyone has problems.

We, socially anxious people, think that we are looked down upon by everyone, and everyone and everything's always focused on us.

The truth is, that people have other things in their mind, than to think about everything that's wrong with that awkward-looking guy/girl who just passed them on the street. Nobody is perfect. People without social anxiety might very possibly also have big social issues. Many of the starving and homeless people living in the poorest countries on earth who don't have social anxiety, have problems far greater than most people here could hardly even imagine.

When you feel like all those people are watching you from those windows while you're walking down the street, think rationally. No one gives a rat's *** about a stranger walking down the street. People have more important things to do, than to sit at their windows all day long, gazing at every passing person.

All people are the same at a fundamental, social level.

You see a person in school first time that day. You say hi to each other. You have no idea what to say to him if you meet him again. But it doesn't matter. If you saw a person who you already greeted earlier that day, and he said 'hey' to you again, would you care? i don't think so. So don't care.

You feel uncomfortable yawning in public. You think people might judge you. But if someone else yawns, do you think it's weird? would you be bothered? again, i don't think so. it's so unimportant, so common, that no one gives a ****.

Observe people's behavior in public places. Think about all the things that you would feel uncomfortable and anxious doing. Now think, if these things those people are doing, are as weird as you thought they would think they are.

You might feel uncomfortable talking on the phone in public.
Let's say your mom calls you to nag about how you forgot to take the trash out earlier before going to school. (lame scenario, i know :D) Others around you might overhear the discussion. You feel horrible and embarrassed. But you know, you're not the only person who has problems with their parents. Others might laugh, but they're not laughing at your stupidity - they're laughing at the overall situation. Don't take everything personally.

Don't be afraid to say stupid things. In class, if you feel like you know the answer to something, or can offer an interesting fact, don't hesitate. So what if it's wrong? so what if it's downright ridiculous, even stupid?

You'd be surprised about how many stupid things one of the most popular guys in our school, says during classes. We laugh at all of them, yet no one's opinion about him has changed to the worse because of it.

This technique is all about putting yourself into other people's shoes, and realizing that all people think the same.

If you don't see something as being weird, no one else does.


Hope this helps others, because this sure has helped me more than anything.
 

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Byebye SAS.
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Best advice one can give, this the kinda attitude I keep at campus too.

No matter how different anyone s mind functions, every is the same. Everyone is apart of the bigger picture.
 

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Ready to fight
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This is helpful in being less self conscious. I've recently thought to myself that life will still keep going regardless what you do.
 

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ΓΤΖΜ
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You know, it goes even deeper than this. Things look so smooth and shiny from a distance. But in reality, a lot of people have actual psychological problems that they're hiding.

I'm not afraid to say (since I won't be found) that my brother has OCD and he just brushes it off and his gf has a problem where she reads about illnesses on the web and thinks she has them. Like, one day she phoned us crying and wouldn't tell us what's the matter... we thought her father had died ffs

Both of these people are 100% happy, well-adjusted, social people on the outside
 

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This doesn't make me feel better, nor does it make me feel anything for normal people. I can't empathise with them. Period, I don't understand what goes through their mind, I don't know how to connect with them so how can I give a **** about what problems they have. If they want to leave me in the cold, I'll do the same to those *******s.
 

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This doesn't make me feel better, nor does it make me feel anything for normal people. I can't empathise with them. Period, I don't understand what goes through their mind, I don't know how to connect with them so how can I give a **** about what problems they have. If they want to leave me in the cold, I'll do the same to those *******s.
Well, I'm just saying that these people exist and you can count on them being understanding and not judgemental. You can tell who they are when they say to others 'hm I feel guilty for laughing at that joke'. They also never ridicule someone.

These are the people that I'll try my experiment of being open about my SA with first. (f*** this sentence sounds awful!)
 

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It is not everyday that I come upon a thread like this.

Loving your insight. Whether this helps anyone or not, at least you tried. So credit to you.

do keep posts like these coming :)
 

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Well, I'm just saying that these people exist and you can count on them being understanding and not judgemental. You can tell who they are when they say to others 'hm I feel guilty for laughing at that joke'. They also never ridicule someone.
I never met this type of people. Like you said, they're hiding their problems so they would never admit their guilt, they might never even feel it. For most of the people, other's embarrassing moments are the best opportunity to show their superiority by laughing at them. And the reason for this is likely to be the insecurity caused by their own problems.

It's true, almost everyone has some psychological problems, but when you have problems that don't allow you to socialize properly people hate you, they ignore the possibility of having such a problem because from their point of view, you're just not a friendly person.
There's only compassion and understanding in the case of other mental disorder types. And it's quite fair actually, no one cares about other's OCD as long as they spend some nice time together, but when you refuse to spend time with someone or if you're not open to talking all the time, it will annoy anyone.

So, according to these facts, it seems true that we're being judged more than most of the people.
 

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So, according to these facts, it seems true that we're being judged more than most of the people.
I never said anything different. But haven't you met any people who are always nice and don't badmouth other people behind their backs? I've met plenty and yeah, probably I'm biased cause I 'hang around' people that my brother hangs around. And my brother is such a person.

Like I said, you will know who those people are by how they don't judge others. This is a sure sign that these people are empathetic and won't ridicule you or avoid you just because you have a problem in communicating.
 

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Streams of Ink
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I tried adopting this thought pattern. It worked for a while, but I'm back to square one :\
 

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This is a good thought though it's hard to remember when I'm in out in public. Funnily enough envisioning most people I see as internet/forum users helps me because I relate to people's problems a lot better on here.
 

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The differences is they don't have anxiety. How can you say something so calm? My hearts would start racing if i say something. Why am I'm afraid? I'm not supposed to care but yet it just happens.
 
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