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All I want is to be confident. To not sit next to someone, and hope, hope, hope that maybe they'll talk to me, and I'll talk back. But when that does hapoen, I just stammer and look away. I've missed the chance to make so many friends, and I'm just tired of being seen as weird, or mentally chanllenged, or whatever. I'm normal goddamn it, and you might even like me if I could just... Talk to you. Maybe we'd go places, and laugh and... Does it even matter? I'll just sit here, next to you and look away, hoping you don't think I'm some kind of psycho, wasting opportunity after opportunity to rid myself of this loneliness.
 

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Confidence takes practice my friend, which I know first hand is easier said than done with regards to SA...I think most of the time we see ourselves acting out of character and acting "weird", but more often than not people don't pick up on this. Maybe start with small talk,even if it's standing outside your house or whatever and just saying hello to people and over time you find conversation will follow...say hello and if you don't get a reply, it's not a problem, some people are more talkative than others :) its not quite the real thing but there are plenty of people on here including myself that can talk to you and hold a conversation!

Take it one step at time, and confidence will follow friend

Saul
 

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I've said this before but I really think that the trick to having conversations with people you don't know is asking questions.

If you're in an awkward silence with someone you know, ask them what they did last night. If you want to talk to someone you don't know, ask them something about themselves. Ask them where they work or if they live in the area. Whether or not a question is appropriate depends on the context, of course, but it's not hard to get a feeling for these things. You're not going to ask a strange woman where she lives but you might ask her if she knows how to tell when an avocado is ripe or if she's read the book you're looking at. Most people (SA sufferers excluded, perhaps) like to talk about themselves and share their opinions on things and will gladly give you plenty of material for coming up with new questions. You can practice on salespeople by asking them to help you find things and on waitresses by asking them to recommend things from the menu.

Just remember, talking to people is a skill just like everything else. Don't beat yourself up if you flub it for a while. You have to learn how to drive a car before you can race.

There are a few solid advantages to asking questions:

1. You don't have to know anything about the topic. If you ask someone where they work and they tell you and you still have no idea what they do, you can always ask them what it's like, if they like it, how long they've been doing it, etc.

2. Other people feel awkward during silences, too, so asking them a question will relieve them of the responsibility of trying to find a topic and they'll appreciate it.

3. If you ask questions and pay attention they'll think you're a good listener which is a positive trait that's not very common.

4. If you keep someone talking about themselves, you don't have to do so much talking about yourself. Just have an answer ready if they ask you what you do, etc., so you're not caught off-guard.
 
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