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So the other day I realized that for me, overcoming this SA thing can be compared to being in a boat. The only problem is that I need someone to push me off the shore - someone to get me started on my way. The only problem is I'm to scared to ask anyone to push me off, so basically I have to hope someone will see me and offer to help.
 

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Sometimes i think like that. Comparing my situation to other things. For me its like being on a boat on my own (sinking) with shark infested waters.

Everything is trying to sabotage me, and there is nowhere to go, extremely isolated.

I know this kind of thinking is bad etc, but i really struggle. I have no purpose at the moment.

I know the only way to get better is to go out, but its so annoying, i hate it.
 

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Isn't it interesting to think that we have everything within us, all the tools and capability necessary to do whatever we wish.

Our mind is extremely powerful and capable of creating feelings and sensations, keeping us safe and moving us forward, healing and experiencing. We have all we need.

I always feel that overcoming anxiety is a choice we make ourself and starts within us. The choice to feel good, the choice to feel alive, the choice to accept it's ok to be a little weird and strange.

There is a world in which anxiety does not exist; and that world is the world we live in. Anxiety isn't out there. It's inside. Making peace with it inside is the challenge.

Aron
 

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So the other day I realized that for me, overcoming this SA thing can be compared to being in a boat. The only problem is that I need someone to push me off the shore - someone to get me started on my way. The only problem is I'm to scared to ask anyone to push me off, so basically I have to hope someone will see me and offer to help.
I need the push and someone to ride in the boat with me. :)
 

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So the other day I realized that for me, overcoming this SA thing can be compared to being in a boat.
The first good thing I saw in your post is that you had a realization, or an "aha!" moment which pushes your vision through the usual dark clouds of SA.

And the next good thing....The only problem is I'm to scared to ask anyone to push me off ....this is your awareness of YOUR participation in this & means you aren't putting blame solely on other factors.

But personally, to me, this is the hard part... so basically I have to hope someone will see me and offer to help. I know I have to be the one to ask/seek help, but I have a big problem asking for help and an even bigger problem accepting help. (But at least I'm aware of it ! ):b
 

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Friday's Child:

Can I ask a question? I don't have SA but my boyfriend does.

What causes a person (or anyone else for that matter) to not be able to accept help when it is offered - I understand it being so hard to ask for help... but when help is offered what keeps someone from accepting it.

Is it the fear of seeming to others like you can't do it yourself? Fear that the help will be inadequate? Loss of control over a situation? Just feeling the need to cope without outside interference?

I am trying to understand why my boyfriend won't let me help him with any project, whether it is putting up shelves, doing yard work or well - anything. He always says it is a one-person project and that he has to do it alone and that I would just be there watching him do it... is that it, that he is afraid I will think he is doing it wrong and want to take control (I think I do have this trait)... maybe that is what it is.

Well, I didn't mean to bust into your thread... as for the original poster, I wish I could help. I think the advice given is good that is already posted. Sometimes even I feel stuck - and I don't have SA - I am just not an outgoing person since about 1990 (when I married my first husband, who died in '96))... I mean I can go do stuff alone but I don't feel connected to other people so if they don't ask me to do something I come home and take care of my son and do chores, read and stuff...

I would love to be the person to ask people to 'do stuff', but usually when I do they always have a reason they won't, can't or don't want to do something so after a time I guess I just quit trying so that I am not always rejected.

I know this isn't about me but this thread seemed to address some questions that I had... I hope it's ok I broke in and asked.

caflme
 
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